Couldn't print the spreadsheet at work due to the printer being out of toner, but I realized I could fit all that information on a 1/4 sheet of paper if I did it by hand and then just keep it in my pocket, so I did that instead. I'll try to make a more compact version of the chart on the computer and hopefully print it tomorrow. Here's the scan of the first sheet so far. I'll scan it again tomorrow when it's complete.
In case you can't read my tiny, messy handwriting and abbreviations, the left-hand column reads: drowsy/fatigue; energy; brain fog; confused; focus; irritated/angry; anxiety/panic; calm; memory (+/-); concentration (+/-); hallucination; depression; euphoria. Along the top are the hours of the day starting with when I woke up (5:00). The bottom left has the description of the weather (rainy, cold, dark), which is always relevant to my mood. There are also some notes on the bottom for specific hours (the two on there now say "dizzy").
Once I get this going on the computer properly, I will upload computer-made charts that are readable.
A few of these symptoms might require explanations. First, for the negative symptoms, I also tried to include the positive opposite extreme. If I'm feeling at a normal, non-extreme level, I needn't write down anything. I think most people know what "brain fog" is. If you haven't heard this term, you've probably experienced it at some point. If you've ever had a sinus infection, think of that distant, fuzzy sort of feeling in your head, where you can't quite seem to connect with the world, almost like you're walking through a dream. It can come from many sources, including drowsiness, stress, various drugs, and of course, vitamin B12 deficiency. I have had seemingly permanent brain fog for a year or more now.
Memory and concentration are both listed with a (+/-), meaning I should indicate deficiency or difficulty with a - and above-average function with a +. Memory is hard to rate, so I'm just marking something down if there is a particular reason to do so (can't remember something, surprised by remembering great detail of something). Hallucination is a broad term referring to all types of visual abnormalities not easily explainable. I seem to have HPPD (look it up), so I regularly see things in the world warping or moving when they are still. I also see things out of the corner of my eye that turn out not to be there. This morning, for example, I saw a large black spider crawling up the white wall, and when I looked there was nothing on the wall. Then as I was walking down the stairs to leave my apartment building, I saw a cluster of bumblebees on the railing, but when I looked directly at it there was nothing there. This is probably a combination of sleepiness, stress, and HPPD, but it can also be caused by B12 deficiency, so I will be tracking it.
If I don't have time to fill in the form as things happen and later on I'm less than 100% sure of what I was experiencing, I will simply leave an hour blank rather than guessing. I have a tendency to project my current mood back on my memories, even very recent ones, and I could very easily skew my results in this way.
Breakfast: Small bowl of organic yogurt with a tiny bit of homemade strawberry-rhubarb syrup. Glass of watered-down apple juice. Cup of anti-allergy tea. 1500 mcg B12. A few flatbreads made from corn (they have the texture of styrofoam but they taste alright, contain almost no nutrition or salt).
Snack: Cup of green tea, a few slices of pear, two slices of bread with cucumber and a tiny amount of ham (no idea what kind or how much salt was in it but as it was provided by the school it was certainly organic and probably made with sea salt).
Lunch: Large bowl of mung bean soup, small plate of boiled potatoes with seitan and sauce - all provided by school, all terrible-tasting, almost no salt in it.
Afternoon: Several small sandwiches with Lucina (a local type of cream cheese) and sliced tomato on dark whole grain bread with sunflower seeds. A small cup of chocolate soya milk. Cup of anti-allergy tea. Cup of nice pu-erh (still using the same leftover tea leaves given by my teacher, and they are still incredibly potent! pour the water over the leaves then directly back out after just a few seconds and each time the tea is exceptionally strong.)
Dinner: Pasta (tricolore) with sauce from scratch, including fresh tomatoes rather than canned. Big plate, no salt in the sauce, small amount of salt in the pasta.
-Woke up feeling awful. Still feeling a bit sick, but better than yesterday. Mostly just groggy and exhausted. Didn't sleep much. Should be careful how late in the day I drink that tea, as the caffeine may be contributing to my sleep issues. Went through the work day on autopilot, which is really tough when you're a teacher of small children. Wasn't too moody today, mostly calm and distant with just a few moments of frustration and rage towards one particularly evil little asshole of a boy. Got a lot of errands done on the way home, including some paperwork for my visa renewal application (due in 2 weeks). Still feeling very calm. One more hour before I leave for taiji training.
-Got some kind of horrible anxiety/panic spike in the middle of taiji. This is a thing that rarely happens. I had to sit in the corner for a while trying not to cry and acting like my back was sore so no one would bother me. Calmed back down now, need to get to bed. Absolutely exhausted, praying I'll be able to sleep. I've decided to avoid alcohol or any other kind of sedative for the foreseeable future, as much as is possible, since I'm sure it's not helping the brain fog that I always need to drug myself to sleep...
Author
Topic: Sappho Experiments On Herself - And You! [Summer Vacation!] (Read 40335 times)