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[sjm9876]

'go to twelve six-two-eight-one, one hundred t.... *dies*'

[MonkeyHead]

"Have you heard?"

*cough*

"Come closer..."

*cough*

"Ah, thats better..."
"Have you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"The bird..."

"What bird?"

"The bird... is the word!"

*dies*

[Loud Whispers]

Don't call it a funeral. This is what you chose.

[Cthulhu]

I pull them close, whispering something about how I need to tell them about someone important, make it seem of deathly importance.

I whisper with my last breath, "Flash... urrgghhh...  He's a...  miracle..."

[stabbymcstabstab]

I will tell my first/only child to come closer tell them they're adopted and that my secret swiss bank account will go to my son Pedro.

[ragnarok97071]

1.Repeatedly fake your death in front of one person, making sure that they eventually get desensitized to your death.

2.Make sure that he/she is there when you die, along with your entire family.

3.They look like an ass for assuming that you're just bullshitting it again.

4.

5.PROFIT

[Vector]

^

That's probably the best one thus far.

[ragnarok97071]

1.Repeatedly fake your death in front of one person, making sure that they eventually get desensitized to your death.

2.Make sure that he/she is there when you die, along with your entire family.

3.They look like an ass for assuming that you're just bullshitting it again.

4.

5.PROFIT

^

That's probably the best one thus far.

Needs some setup though, so you really need to be invested in it.

And you need to be careful that they're obviously fake and not just failed suicide attempts, because otherwise they won't be suitably meh.

[Trif]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

from SMBC

[Lightningfalcon]

If I know I'm going to die, I will set up an elaborate conspiacy, hiding clues and treasure in carefully hidden places.  Then, on my deathbed, I will speak "He killed me... go to these coordinates... avenge me...."

[RedWarrior0]

In each of the clues is a teddy bear, carefully positioned to be looking straight at the clues or from them. All identical.

If you can get motion-following cameras and hide one in the teddy bears, better.

Also, put a noisemaker that makes the sound of a little girl's laughter in one or two of them.

[misko27]

I read a suicide note today that might work.


"Dear Betty,
I hate you.
Love George."

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Bonus points if you get laid at my funeral.

[kaenneth]

Keep Bobby away from me, I know he's a necrophiliac.

[NobodyPro]

"Even dead gods dream."