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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 194530 times)

Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1725 on: January 05, 2015, 09:50:24 am »

"it's obvious that wall is important. Why else would it have been brought to our attention...

...And what's with all the beige? Where's the pulsing bloody veins in the walls? Where are the fleshy wall mouths, silently screaming in torment? I don't even see any skull thrones or coffle lines of damned souls...

And where's the hooks? You can't have Hell without meat hooks!"


It's clear Lady Foxglove has visited someplace like this before, and has certain standards that must be met....

Still, she decided to examine the wall. Maybe things were not as they seemed.

Action: Beige wall meet inquisitive Fox!
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1726 on: January 05, 2015, 09:53:54 am »

"A very beige place indeed. Any hints on the topology of this realm, God?"

Inspect the north and south directions for missable details.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1727 on: January 05, 2015, 10:14:54 am »

Inspect the north and south directions for missable details.

"A very beige place indeed," remarks Gervedder, as he wonders what important detail he’s missed.

As he inspects the north side of the stairwell, revealing a beige-coloured wall, he remembers that perhaps God might have some answers.

"Any hints on the topology of this realm, God?" he asks, as he jostles through the crowd of adventurers to inspect the south.

”Like, you mean the shapes and stuff? Ooh, watch that step there.”

Just then Gervedder inspects the south wall a bit too hard, and slips down the top step, tumbling down a dozen more to the bottom of the flight of stairs. At the aforementioned bottom, there is, in front of him, to the east, a red cylindrical object connected to the wall and, to the south, a door. There steps behind him go back up to the west, and another flight continue on down, also to the west.

Action: Beige wall meet inquisitive Fox!

Facing the beige wall to the west, Lady Foxglove leans in very very close to look, and slips! She falls face first into what appears, from her vantage point, to be a rather solid wall, covered with some form of beige-coloured paper and a small amount of blood, roughly exactly there where her nose just smashed into it.

Suddenly, there is a wailing siren noise that seems to come from the ceiling, and which is very shortly accompanied by a light rain.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1728 on: January 05, 2015, 10:22:09 am »

Lady Foxglove rubbed her swollen HP and thought...

"Humm, no monsters, just seemingly normal place...a drab and flabby building where no doubt dozens of poor souls trudge in and out every day, probably being paid a low wage to do so...


...Oh no! We've gone to the Ironic Hell! For the people who live and work here! And, we're an anachronistic party of adventurers!'


She decided the wailing was making her angry. Foxglove smash!

Action: URGH SWORD ATTACK ON MAGIC CEILING RAIN MAKER
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1729 on: January 05, 2015, 10:55:18 am »

Action: URGH SWORD ATTACK ON MAGIC CEILING RAIN MAKER

Lady Foxglove thinks hard and quick and for all we know erroneously until the wailing from above makes her too angry to think. She draws her sword with a sweeping flash and flings it upwards, smashing it into the small red box above. The wailing immediately becomes quieter and more distant, and her sword immediately becomes distanter and more stuck in the ceiling.

Just then the door below, next to Gervedder, bursts open, and stream of bizarrely and greyly dressed humans floods out and down, screaming and pushing and afraid. From not far above Foxglove and Co there is another bursting open of door, and a flood of frogs bursts out, tumbling towards the adventurers down the stairs from floor to ceiling. Within seconds they must be able to see tens of thousands of frogs descending upon them like some kind of froggageddon.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1730 on: January 05, 2015, 10:59:50 am »

Inconspicuously abduct one (preferably male, though I will probably need a skirt since no trousers are likely to fit) person from the crowd, or rather their clothes, and thus clothe myself once more.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1731 on: January 05, 2015, 11:03:31 am »

"...Did we go to surreal Hell? It's only ironic if you have a sense of humor!

...I bet these frogs will know something!"


Action: Abduct a frog and ask it some very pointed questions. By threatening it with my sword. Get it?
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1732 on: January 05, 2015, 11:38:05 am »

It's rather obvious what one must do here. Namely FUCK THAT FUCKERFUCKING WALL. But this seems more entertaining in my mind!

Lightning Fist the crowd of people!
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1733 on: January 05, 2015, 03:12:09 pm »

"There, that's better... hey, where the feck are we?  Blimey, what have you gobshites done this time?"
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1734 on: January 05, 2015, 08:54:11 pm »

We're in Hell! Therefore we have full licence to do whatever we want, since whoever ends up here deserves it!

Bukkar steadfastly ignores the irony in this statement. 
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell
« Reply #1735 on: January 05, 2015, 10:11:34 pm »

Tackov rather embraced the irony.

"I'm not sure I can fault that logic, considering we're here.  Hey Foxy!  Check out my hell leer!"

Give Foxy the Hell Leer

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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell or something like it
« Reply #1736 on: January 06, 2015, 06:38:48 pm »

Examine those humans! Frogpocalypse is probably nothing too serious.
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.127 - Hell or something like it
« Reply #1737 on: January 11, 2015, 11:38:36 am »

Flee the froggy flood, and take shelter behind God.
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.128
« Reply #1738 on: January 15, 2015, 06:52:26 am »

Turn One Hundred and Twenty Eight

Hell

Inconspicuously abduct one (preferably male, though I will probably need a skirt since no trousers are likely to fit) person from the crowd, or rather their clothes, and thus clothe myself once more.

As the swarm of dressed people flee past him, Gervedder moderately inconspicuously tackles one to the ground. The poor victim starts screaming in fear for his life, completely ignored by all, until he sees Gervedder’s nudity, at which point he faints.

The Naked Messenger tries to remove the man’s clothing, but it remains steadfastly stuck on the man’s body. It seems, in fact, completely unremovable, as if magicked into place.

Lightning Fist the crowd of people!

Realising instantly why he’s in Hell, Bukkar moves away from the frogs and towards the crowd of greyly-dressed humans, where he punches a fleeing eejit.

The fleeing eejit is instantaneously struck down by both fist and lightning and falls, smouldering, to the ground.

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

As the man falls, lightning arcs away from him, and Bukkar’s head starts beginning to glow a brighter shade of red.

Whiz is hit in the face with some lightning, but survives unscathed!

Another blast of lightning sparks from the dead man into the crowd fleeing past, smacking one man to the ground, dazed and burning – lightning begins shooting off him into the crowd around, somewhat miraculously only hitting one of his acquaintances, who unfortunately explodes, and sends lightning bursting around further into the fleeing humans.

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 11 Mana!

Overcome with anger, Bukkar spins around in a circle, slapping Whiz, Gervedder, a grey man and a frog in the face! Nothing happens though, except for the grey man kicking Gervedder in the shin, but then two more of the crowd are hit by the chains of lightning: one shakes it off like it was just a passing bolt of lightning and continues to flee; the other shakes it off like it was just a passing bolt of lightning that’s set him on fire, and also continues to flee.

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Only one bolt of lightning spurts off this burning man, knocking another human to the ground with a look of surprise and a smell of singed hair. He gets up and flees harder, but runs straight into another bolt of lightning leaping off the original scorched corpse, but he survives his second indoor lightning bolt of the day!

Next to him a possibly former acquaintance of his is struck in the groin by some passing lightning, but it’s just a glancing blow which doesn’t even set his groin on fire!

Unlike the blow of lightning that blasts the elbow off the man next to him, setting the arm stump on fire! The stumpy armed man screams, and pushes harder into the crowd trying to get down the stairs, knocking some of them over and down, starting quite the stampede.

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

A huge burst of lightning explodes off the man’s severed elbow as it falls to the floor, shooting up into half a dozen knees, setting two on mild fire, and making a third explode in a hail of knee! Several more people collapse to the floor as they try to make their hurried way downstairs, and the smell of burning flesh begins to fill the stairwell.

Just as it seems that the unending generation of lightning has actually ended, Gervedder turns in horror to see Bukkar’s enormous purple head expanded to the size of a large cow!

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!

Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 18 Mana!


Bukkar spins round, striking every frog he can reach in the face with lightning. A dozen frogs explode!

Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 32 Mana!

Whiz suddenly appears on the floor next to Bukkar, so Bukkar vomits on him!

Bukkar is happier and angrier than he can ever remember being and punches every frog he can see to death and kicks a man-sized hole through the brick wall to the south. Beyond is a twenty foot drop down to a dark grey surface with white lines painted on it, parallel and about two metres apart. Dotted about the surface are metal and glass constructions about three or four metres long and of varied colours.

Exhausted, Bukkar collapses onto his back in a pool of flame, spontaneous combustions on his thigh and face adding to his already burning elbow.

Further frogs come down the stairs, hopping past Foxglove, Tackov, and Sylvanna and stampeding over Bukkar and Whiz, pushing Gervedder into the corner of the stairwell. Bukkar vomits, again, covering the thousands of frogs rushing over him in his filthy spittle and spreading the hideous contagion amongst them all. Within seconds the last two floors of the stairwell are filled with the frogs’ rising gutspume.

Apart from Bukkar’s retching, and gently whooshing sprinklers above, all is suddenly quite silent.

Give Foxy the Hell Leer

Just then Tackov leers pervertedly at Lady Foxglove. She doesn’t seem to notice, possibly because of all the vomit, and Tackov only feels a little bit dirty.

Gah.

Examine those humans! Frogpocalypse is probably nothing too serious.

Sylvanna doesn’t quite get the chance to examine any of the humans before they flee, or are submerged in frog or the rising sea of frog vomit. The cursory examination she did manage to give some of them revealed that they were all quite grey and looked miserable.

Flee the froggy flood, and take shelter behind God.

Whiz doesn’t so much flee the froggy flood, as watch the frogs boing past before being crushed in an avalanche of frog, collapsing on the floor next to Bukkar, who vomits on him. Whiz tries to scramble back up the stairs amongst the dozens of frog corpses, signalling frantically for God to help him up.

”Fun, isn’t, Hell?”

God carefully picks his way down the stairs and looks out the hole Bukkar’s just kicked in the wall. He points out towards a yellow metal and glass machine.

”Ooh, that’s what we’re after! The other one’s bloody Ferrari! It’s a limited edition. Don’t ever ask him if it shouldn’t really be red, he’ll bore your arse off. Anyone know how to hotwire a car?”

He looks down at Bukkar on the floor.

”You realise you’re about to burn to death? Oh well, eh?”

Spoiler: Location (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - 1.128
« Reply #1739 on: January 15, 2015, 07:00:42 am »

"...."

Extinguish Bukkar right quick.

Then begin to attempt to understand any of this.
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