Turn One Hundred and Twenty!Level Three of the Temple of Sef"How very odd," thinks – and says – Gervedder, as Lady Foxglove starts climbing up the wall and sneaking across the ceiling,
"Let us put as quick an end as possible to this!"And perhaps they disappointingly will!
Action: Sneak across the ceiling and drop down upon the ovimancers shoulders! Leglock chokehold!
Lady Foxglove – perhaps, some might think, unwisely – sneaks ((and at this point the GM wonders – is stealth Dodgility? Climbing certainly is. But +3? that would be mental! Oh well, I have dug my own cake, I should probably sleep in it)) sneaks across the ceiling [4+2+1] and drops upon Bryan – for that is the ovinomancer's name – Bryan's shoulders, and starts choking him to death with her legs!
Bother – I forgot to explain why it might be unwise, but it has to do with Tackov's wand. Anyway, [5+1 stealth bonus vs1] Lady Foxglove chokes off the ovinomancer's head!
Specific Coinspider command: "Oppress the weak!"
Whistle for Eric, the tax collector thing which I'm certain the GM didn't forget about until just now because that's certainly not what I did.
Then chop things with my shield while my various pets and companions gnaw upon those same or other things, starting with the weakest foes and moving on up if those have already been disposed of.
Thankfully Sylvanna is there to save the day for the encounter! As her nine-limbed thing ambles – quite quickly though – back into the story, she commands it to Oppress the weak!
[6] Unfortunately, the weakest person round here (including the sheep) is her
good friend acquaintance Tackov Cedtry!
[3 vs 2-1; 4 vs 3-1; 3 vs 5-1] Tackov is immediately Damaged! And Damaged again! Luckily it's non-fatal damage, because the spider has an uncontrollable urge to arrest the bloody peasant.
Oblivious to Tackov's considerable arm and face brusing, Sylvanna rushes towards the nearest sheep, [5+1 vs 1] completely slicing it in half! Bryan winces in emotional turmoil, and then covers his eyes (metaphorically, because his head is severed) as the Flesh Mechanic's squid also charges in, [6 vs 5] but luckily for Bryan the warsquid is unable to damage his beloved sheepie.
Attack and run
Nigel is a bit torn – Bryan's head has been removed, and perhaps he should stay to help, but he'll probably be able to replace it with a sheep or something, so he does what he's been commanded to do, and tries to bust out of the unholy sacrificial altar room! Sylvanna and Foxglove being largely out of the way, he charges towards [2] Whiz [5+2vs5], expertly hacking at his left foot and causing hideous Damage!
Have Roñardo toss me in my barrel into the middle of the enemy crowd. Brace on the inside of the barrel and activate Whirlwind Rage, hopefully doing damage with my bling spikes as well.
I JUST THOUGH OF A POWER EXPLOIT, ASSHOLES! thinks Bukkar, aloud,
YOUR HIPPO COST ME MY HEAD! NOW I'LL TAKE YOURS! ROÑARDO! TOSS!It's unsure who he's shouting at, but there isn't time to work out as Roñardo suddenly tosses him off into the centre of the room with actually a kind of [2] gentle rolling-along-the-floor motion that confers no bonus at all, and only leaves Bukkar stranded amidst a small flock of sheep.
That doesn't stop Bukkar though! No!
[1+1vs6 1+1vs2 3+1vs4 2+1vs1, 5+1vs3] Flailing around amongst the sheep like some kind of eejit, Bukkar punches one sheep in half before spinning to a miserable halt and [2vs3-1, 4vs1-1, 6vs6-1] getting his chest bit open in a deadly counterattack.
The four remaining sheep pounce as one, [4vs5-1,5vs6-1,6vs2-1, 2vs5-1], losing [4+1vs1] one of their number to a vicious left leg severing incident before one of the flock chews off Bukkar's left foot!
Burny-Nakedy-Vomity Wand the Ovinomancer! Dronebongo, go eat the feet of that Nigel fellow!
Pointlessly, presumably, since the ovinomancer has no head to hear his taunts, Tackov, who was seconds ago being severely beaten by the limbs of many tax collectors, taunts the sheepmage by calling him a sheepfecker! After much checking of rules, Tackov and the sheepomancer roll four dice each (Tackov is first, both have +1):
[4,4,2,6,3,6,4,1!]
Bryan immediately leaps over the table, with his head still on the floor and Lady Foxglove still attached to his neck, flailing his arms about and running directly south west towards the near left corner of the room!
Sprint of Fury + Gauntlet. Run past seven of the enemy individuals, first the five sheep [ed: then the next five], then Nigel and the ovinomancer, unless there is a more spatially probable solution. This would ostensibly cost me all my MP, but that's not that much of a problem, in all likelihood.
Seeing two charging flocks of sheep and a trainee accountant from Minehead running at him – not to mention a furiously angry sheepwizard, who is, what's worse, running at him whilst flailing his arms – seeing all this, Gervedder looks down, checks his shoelaces, and then waits for about ten minutes whilst the GM goes up the loft to look for his emergency extra dice and knock up a quick spreadsheet to record the results.
Two sheep from the left hand flock are instantly axed into four flaming woolly bits; two more burst into flame, which only seems to make them angrier (and burnier) sheep. The surviving sheep leap up at him, but the brave Gervedder brushes them aside with a busy slap from the back of his hand! As the two burning sheep collapse to the floor Gervedder finishes them both off with a quick axe to the head!
In a blur the messenger dashes across the room to the flock that's already been mauled by the angry Bukkar, completely missing two, but slicing the last one completely down the middle in a blaze of flame!
The two last sheep try to chew Gervedder's passing ankles a bit, but only manage to trip up slightly: Gervedder chops off one's head!
Leaving only one slightly upset sheep in both left- and right-hand flocks, Gervedder Vietzo runs right at Nigel the Deadly Trainee Accountant.
Nigel is slashed in the head, and Bleeds and Burns quite uncomfortably!
Gervedder spins and turns before Nigel can successfully react, and chases after Bryan the Ovinomancer – already Bleeding severely from bad case of missing head, and still flailing about with Lady Foxglove on his neck stump.
...Bryan is quite surprised to find Gervedder's axe suddenly setting his guts on fire!
Arg
”Nigel!” yells Bryan, clearly dying and also headless, and burning a bit,
”Warn Deadly Stallion! These foes are stronger than I thought!”Using all of his mental power to do so, Bryan turns Nigel into a blur of speed and double-actioness: Nigel, clutching his Damage, hacks once more at Whiz, [5+1vs2] causing terrible slashed Damage and Bleeding! Nigel pushes past the crumpled Whizard, and runs out the door to the trapped ninja room and his escape.
The adventurers who don't turn to stare after him suddenly see Bryan the Ovinomancer fizzle and disappear into thin air, his still gently-rolling head also vanishing!
The lone sheep baas forlornly and randomly selects Whiz to chew on, but fails [1vs1], whereupon Whiz retaliates because he has to do something this turn; [5+1vs6] but in fact doesn't do anything.
Meanwhile, Lady Foxglove looks rather perplexed at being sort of just sitting there in mid-air, apparently, and even more perplexed as she starts moving around, almost as if on the invisible shoulders of an invisible man. Bryan the Ovinomancer might not be quite so clever as he thinks, but he's not that stupid, so takes a different course of action, and suddenly summons a sheep to replace his head! His bleeding stops, and Lady Foxglove's surprise increases as instead of sitting on an invisible wizard's shoulders, she now finds herself astride a floating sheep.
Who, the GM remembers just in time, is floating a few feet just above a smouldering gutfire.
Tackov Cedtry
Stats: D2 / S0 / M6
Status: [HP: 10/30] | [MP: 30/30]
States +1 Missile defence | -1 Melee.
Whiz
Stats: D2 / S2+2 / M4
Status: [HP: 20/50] | [MP: 20/20]
States +1 Lower leg, groin, head and breast defence | Last in initiative rolls | +1 to melee attacks | +1 to crossbows | -1 to long range shooting | Bleeding
Gervedder Vietzo
Stats: D2 / S4 / M2
Status: [HP: 70/70] | [MP: 0/10]
States +1 Gut and chest defence | +1 Defence if moves | +1 Flaming Axe. | +1 to melee attack | Very tall.
Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III
Stats: D4 / S2 / M2
Status: [HP: 50/50] | [MP: 10/10]
States +1 to Head, chest and groinbone defence | Dodges fist missile hit | +3 to initiative | +1 to missile attacks | +1 to dodge.
Bukkar Crangrom
Stats: D0 / S6 / M2
Status: [HP: 60/90] | [MP: 7/10]
States +1 Piercing groinalheadbutt attack | Vomits | Ignites | Naked | No head | -1 to dodge | -1 to dodge | +1 to melee attack | BLEEDING | BLEEDING | Left foot severed
Sylvanna the Felonious
Stats: D4 / S4 / M0
Status: [HP: 70/70] | [MP: 0/0]
States: +1 to dodge. +1 to melee attack.
Dronebongo: [HP: 20/20] | +1 Melee bite | 2 kick attacks
Jack the Hippo: [HP: 30/30] | Cannot bleed
Lord Squid: [HP: 20/20] | Flying
Tax Collector Golem
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious’ Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem]
Class: 12 Part Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem
Health: [HP: 50/50]
Abilities: One Head, Three Arms, Six Legs
Ovinomancer
D3 S2 M6 level 7 which means 65 HP
5HP
-20HP per turn
Nigel
D4 S4 M1 level 5 which means 85 HP
55HP, -20HP per turn
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 193144 times)