Turn Sixty Five Put cork in inventory, continue bugging people about the bandit guy.
"This bandit person seems quite important to you for some reason. Mind elaborating why?"See this barrel? says Bukkar through his cleared airhole.
"Yes?"See how awesome and spiky and shiny it is?"It certainly is shiny and spiky, yes."Bukkar lets the silence grow to magnify the tension.
If I kill this guy and being back his head, I know a guy that can make it an adamantine barrel."Ah. Well, if we see him, I see no reason why we should not eliminate this bandit."Excellent."Now, um, where is our other wizard?"As the stinking barrel seems to rise very slightly off the ground, Tackov shrugs, turns, and follows Gervedder back through the town gates.
Lady Foxglove in her turn shrugs, and floats off in the opposite direction.
Attempt a bribe. If it fails, let's hope for the party bailout.
"Huh? Wash'shish? Oh... oh. Well, bother. Say, if you don't mind... really sorry about this whole shituation. Last time I drink and ride. Can I just pay off the ticket now and be on my way? I'll throw in a night shift worker appreciation bonus..."…”Well… uh… Crikey, look at those!”Action: Approach the town sans pole, and bail Medha out of trouble using my charm and beauty. Pass her off as my crazy, harmless and unfortunately bred half-sister who didn't really mean it and honestly, wouldn't you be a peach and let her go, just this once, for me? I'd be very thankful, sir.
"...Thank you, kind sirs!" cries the approaching Lady Foxglove on her gently hovering squid, thrusting out her bosom with all the moral force she can muster.
"I'm so glad you've found her... sadly, yes... she is my sister."Foxglove dismounts in an extremely provocative way extremely close to the guards’ faces.
"She's a little crazy...she thinks monkeys can be sultans... Or sultanas, I’ve never quite figured it out. Such a shame, as attractive as the back end of a pig and an eejit to boot. Come, Crazy Polly, let me take you back to father.”…Still ogling her prominent diplomacy, the two guards don’t move a step as Lady Foxglove very deliberately leads Medha by the hand, scolding her in a loud and slow voice. She leads the apprentice eejit away to the east, on foot, making sure not to mount her faithful warsquid until her backside is out of range of the guards’ inevitable stares.
The bonespider ambles along behind, and the guards turn back to slowly walk towards the gate.
”Phwoar.””Yep.””The one on the squid was alright too, weren’t she, eh?””…”Put out the rest of my headfire, and wander through a shortcut in the scenery to the rest of the party.
”Oh yes,” replies Whiz to the helpful town guard as he
…extinguishes his head,
”So it is. Terribly kind of you.”…Whiz then wanders off towards a nearby hole, crawls through, and finds Gervedder Vietzo, Tackov, and a shiny barrel that smells of dung.
”Hello!”Isn’t that kind of my colour?”Er?”Before Bukkar can speak again he is horribly sick.
… … … … … …
Not long later Whiz the Arsonist and his friends are strolling along a pleasant eastwards-bound country lane when they see two travellers sitting under a tree in the distance.
Tethered to a small pole not far from the tree are an enormous spider and a flying warsquid, who seem to be getting on famously.
Medha Correo and Lady Foxglove sit and wait for their comrades in the morning sun.
Well luckily Whiz got two lucky/good rolls and it’s probably easiest for you all to regroup, isn’t it. Or I could rewrite the turn with him fighting six guards to the death.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: -1 to gut defence. +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Dressed!
Health: [HP: 60/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 1 Green Farthing.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 75/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. -1 to chest defence. Cursed (-2 to movement rolls, one turn left).
Health: [HP: 85/85] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 241 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Cureall,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x400.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 85/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194423 times)