Turn FortyMake excuses. Look around the tavern carefully. Make sure I am not in someone's lap in the meantime.
…"Oh no, ma'am. I may not. I am married myself, I'm afraid. Thoroughly taken, I must say. To cuddle with another woman would be to disrespect my betrothed in a most dishonorable fashion, and I am not such a villain that I might do so."”Not even a tiny widdle cuddle?”"No, ma’am, I must, although greatly honoured, I’m sure, decline..."”Oh, gorrone! Just a tiny weeny widdle cuddle? Comeer! Come and meet Doris and Lucy! They’re soft and furry!”"I… the… ah..."He eyeballs Medha, with her hands withdrawing from the drunkard's pockets.
"Say, doc, one second- let me see if I can get any of my fellows to chip in for the rest."Tackov crawls over to his teammates.
"Can anyone spare seven yuros so's I can finish paying the doc for some treatment? This crawling bit is right unpleasant."…Adjusting her hair a little to make sure Tackov understands the disdain with which she is electing to, on this occasion, cede to the weak impulse to kindly charity, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III clears her throat, flicks a fleck of sawdust off her shoulder, and slides a pair of real gold coins across the dirty floor to her esteemed colleague.
She decides to busy herself standing up very deliberately.
"Thanks, milady!"She wonders whether being seen to be charitable is worse for her image as a tough-skinned Crusader than being seen to lie in human vomit and sawdust.
"Get a job!"As Tackov struggles to his elbows she walks past, on her way to the men’s room. She gives Tackov a gentle and, she hopes to convey with the playfulness of its only moderate force, a comradely kick in the ribs.
"You… poor type…"Head over to Medha. Lean casually on table while saying the following:
Gimme half of the gold, retches Bukkar as threateningly as he can manage,
And I won't bust ya up. You did a good job looting the body while I was -He stands up straight very briefly before doubling back over and vomiting forth like a tide rushing out in the late afternoon.
Vomiting, but I killed the eejit. I get half."He was just lying there on the floor! I FOUND him! Loot your own drunks! I'm not a charity! This is all mine, MINE!!!"ADVENTURER LOOT DISPUTE INITIATIVE ROLL OFF!
MEDHA: 11!
BUKKAR: 8!Giggling as hard as she can, Medha skips over the spreading pool of vomit slickening the floor and darts past Bukkar back towards the men’s bathroom, mumbling something menacing to do with tripping and eejits and fools but
…Bukkar doesn’t seem to be listening and keeps his footing as he dances after her, elegantly pirouetting round varying pools of man-spume, lying drunkards and tottering tables.
Just as it looks as though Medha’s about to get away, Bukkar aims an almighty flaming foot of righteous vengeance right at her arse, misses, gets it caught in a table leg, realises the table leg is made of wood – flammable wood – and skids to an uncharacteristically lucid halt to disentangle himself before more than just his foot is aflame.
…Medha escapes, dashing into the men’s room, cheerfully interrupting the current occupant of the portal’s stall, and pushing past into the portal and the dungeon.
Medha is soon followed, in no particular order, by her comrades, who all slosh through the toilet cubicle and into the dungeon, a small trail of filthy wet footsteps soon leading from the dungeon convenience portal to the door opposite it.
"Well, shall we?""Yes."
Where P = Portal.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: -2 to movement! -1 to dodging! -1 to combat! +1 to head defence.
Health: [HP: 55/55] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Legs!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Masterwork Helm!, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x4, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x5, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1 x1.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage, -1 to dodge.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Broken Guts!Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 77 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 400 Green Farthings, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 9 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow,
Bandage of Healing! Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Necklace of Permanent Death! Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status: -1 to social interaction.
Health: [HP: 60/80] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 1
Stinking Eejit cheese, 2 Yuros.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 191198 times)