Alright, so after copying down all the submissions and assigning them a number based on the order of submission, I used Random.org to generate numbers until I got eight unique numbers. The random number god has chosen; these will be our players: Doomblade187, IcyTea31, TherosPherae, Gamerlord, freeformschooler, DrPoo, GUNINANRUNIN, and Tsuchigumo550.
(Doomblade, have you been making blood sacrifices to the RNG? Because your number came up five times, and at one point twice in a row.)
Anyway, now that we have our players, we can start. As I said, we'll be starting in Lesser Dirtstick, and now, per the rules, I'll roll up your individual semi-exact starting locations.
Alright, Jamethon Meridian, you will start (1d10+1d4=12) in an animal (1d12=9) cow's (1d8=7) stomach.
Jick will start (1d10+1d4=5) in a tavern.
Churar will start (1d10+1d4=5) also in the tavern.
Alam Sadine will start (1d10+1d4=8) in a pub.
Albrecht Facefister will start (1d10+4=6) in an inn.
Adison Adidas Nelson the third *three gunshots* Nukesplosions will start (1d10+1d4=13) on a vegetable (1d12=2) celery.
Sir Hobota von Glancemane will start (1d10+1d4=8) also in the pub.
And finally, Cyrni, you will start (1d10+1d4=6) in the in with Albrecht.
And go!