Oh but you did, you've also inadvertently given me enlightenment on the fact that there's not just one correct way of making friends. c:
Whenever my mother expresses concerns with my lack of Social contact, I print of the latest new report of some druggie getting stabbed whilst out drinking with his mates who also stole a car and ran it into a police station before attempting to flee and getting battered by some over-zealous horse-rider wielding a large stick. It just seems a lot safer for me to look out onto the world through the eyes of the Internet, rather than actually have to go out and interact... Plus, you probably won't get to know any other hermits in your class because they'll all be doing exactly the same thing as you unless you decide to break the ice and create some hermit-based circle of acquaintances.
Good point, could be that they're feeling the same as me, even though we're pretty good friends by now (i mean, i would trust these guys with my life, that's how awesome they are). I'm beginning to think that my dear mother, as much as i love her, has a bit of difficulty understanding that introversion isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't blame her, really, the stereotypical young bloke in Denmark is a wild and outgoing party monkey, and borderline alcoholic as well. I'm getting better at the outgoing part, but i still have what i like to refer to as social batteries, which deplete slowly during the course of intense socialising (i.e. partying and such), and recharge when i retract into my own little bubble, although i never get truly anti-social because of it.
well I can't beat Vector.....
But seriously, just be yourself. I used to be like this, but then I just reached a point where my confidence got so low I stopped caring how other people thought of me completely. At which point I just started being me, and that seems to have worked.
As for the invite thing, I've been rather lucky in that I have mates who seem to get it, and will invite me just offhand. I think if you start talking to someone enough, they may just kinda ask you to meet up with their mates 'cause you might get on, and somehow a social life forms.
I found that whole "be myself" thing to be surprisingly effective as well, which i decided to do because i was sitting in a room full of completely new people. Nobody had any preconceptions about me (same thing as when i started in high school, with the difference being that i came from high school and not elementary), so i figured, hell, might as well make the first impression a good one. It worked beyond my wildest dreams. I don't know if it's because i did well or because the others are super nice (which they are), but man, it is AWESOME to be able to be myself and have people like me for it. c:
Perhaps... Perhaps i'm just worrying to much. I do that a lot. I've explicitly been told (by a girl even) that i'm a really nice guy to be around, so perhaps it's just a sterling case of "it's not you it's me" with this whole invitation deal (although said girl already has a long-time boyfriend). What i think is worrying to my mother is that i USED to invite friends home during elementary school, something that practically stopped the moment i graduated from that. Perhaps because i feel it's safe to hang around with my friends at campus now? Back in elementary school, i did NOT feel safe before i had gotten out of the immediate vicinity of the place. Now? The institution for geoscience damn near feels like a second home to me. Perhaps that could explain some things.
Yeah you're not the only one xD.
I'm still wondering how I got the friends I currently have. They actually seem to be happy when I'm around :/
Friendship advice:
-Accidentally meet people.
-Somehow become friends.
-Wonder why.
-???
-Profit.
I keep getting stuck at "wonder why". :c
You're the same as me, if you put it that way. Well, maybe except that I'm a bit more distant to "friends" and such (I don't really care what happens to people I don't like that much).
One of the things you could do is to find someone with the same interests as you have. That would breach the awkwardness barrier and soften things up. Next, hanging out with talkative people (they tend to be annoying) usually nets you more acquaintances, which you can talk to and such. All of this is relatively easy if you're still in class. Outside, I dunno, I really don't have that much friends aside from family. :c
Finally, fuck the consequences. If you want to meet other people, you must first know that they don't give much attention to your stories, so there's no need to be shy and feel like you're the only person they're paying attention and critiquing. Because they also feel the same way. Once you stop caring about how you handle things (of course, make sure you still handle things well), you will just flow out of your shell naturally and gain a group of people to hang out with. In short, shed your insecurity, bro.
Disclaimer: This is potentially bad advice, coming from an insecure person with no social skills who just recently adapted to life. It may or may not earn you "user" friends - people who exploit you for their own gain. Please be guided. 
It's mostly that "fuck consequences" thing i have a really difficult time making my subconscious believe, also friends outside of school/uni. That said though, i'd happily hang around with my friends at uni at different places, it's just that whole keeping in contact business that's rather difficult. Since they rarely contact me either, i suppose they're feeling the same way, and/or have met a shitload of awesome new people like i have.
I WISH i could just shed my insecurity like a smelly overcoat, but sadly it's pretty deeply buried. I'm working on digging it out, however. c:
I tend to have the same problem, and I'm still stuck in a position where I have little social life, though that is due to other circumstances.
To me, at least, I can't speak for you, it feels like a risk to take things further with a friend. I don't mean dating, but I do mean such things as stepping outside of your comfort zone to do more with them. In my case, I simply felt comfortable doing what I usually did, do life at its normal pace how it was already flowing, and don't cause any ripples that might cause discomfort to myself. Unfortunately, this tended to leave friends as an incidental, regardless of how well I may have thought of them. However, if you don't engage yourself with your friends and other company, you are going to drift apart from them eventually.
Take the first step, invite them to play whatever game on whatever console you may have, and if it works out, you might see about making it a weekly thing. At that point, it should easily become part of your routine.
That middle paragraph. It is uncannily close to how i'm feeling. Thing is though, i'd be sad to drift away from these guys, just like how i was pretty sad to leave high school behind. Fortunately, i still have at least a year left on this bachelor, and one can do a LOT of things in a year!
Once again, i'm really grateful for all the advice and kind words! I'm not sure i can really express myself properly, but thanks. Thanks a lot.
Author
Topic: Social things and such (Read 2168 times)