Anyways, Open Free Candy door. Then, Use Face Punching in conjunction with Badassery to remove toasters from west wall.
JAKONAS, whose NOPANTS cannot stop ANDREW JACKSON, SUDDENLY APPEARS. THIS happens A LOT to JAKONAS, who is THUS UNFAZED. HE quickly SMASHES OPEN the NORTHERN DOOR.
SADLY the TOASTERS have no FACES to PUNCH. They're also too DEAD to recognize your BADASSERY. You'll need to PRACTICE your SQUATS to move these TOASTERS."Guh so hungry. Hey toast doctor! Sacrifice yourself to me!
Mind Control! Eat corpse of toast doctor! Get his soul and add it to my collection! Get someone else to open free candy door!
Your PITIFUL MIND CONTROL POWERS are nothing to DOCTOR! He TAKES OFFENCE and pulls out a SCALPEL.USE a SKILL or ITEM to DEFEAT DOCTOR! UNLESS you LIKE a FACE FULL of SCALPEL and PAIN.Pick up dead toaster, wave ID around yelling : "This unit needs to get to the MRI, STAT!", and try and find the MRI lab...
The DOCTORS LAUGH and turn back to watch SCALPEL FIGHT. MAGNETS are the MORTAL ENEMIES of TOASTERS. ONLY X-RAYS used in TOASTER HOSPITAL. SILLY CRIME AGAINST NATURE."Come on, Sasha! Where there's candy there must be crowbars!"
Rip down the curtains, then go through the free candy door.
You name FREE FALCON from BEST PARTY EVER SASHA. SASHA is PLEASED with NEW NAME. SASHA is NOT PLEASED when CURTAINS RIPPED AWAY. THOSE POOR TOASTERS. TOO HORRIBLE TO DESCRIBE. REST ASSURED that they will HAUNT your MEMORIES for YEARS. MEMORIZATION DOWN 2 RANKS. SOMEHOW BETTER AT SQUATS and GAINED MOXIE as a RESULT.
THUS SCARRED FOR LIFE, you go through FREE CANDY DOOR. WALK into INHIBITOR CLOSET. INHIBITOR CLOSET have many UNLABELLED BOXES, guarded by FEARSOME BAT. ROOM too SMALL to have anything ELSE. IS only CLOSET.go through the south door
SOUTH DOOR LOCKED BY BRONZE PADLOCK. Will NEED KEY to GO THROUGH. OR ABILITY TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME AND SPACE, LIKE PRESIDENTS.Check to see which side of southern door the hinges are on.
HINGES on OTHER SIDE of DOOR. ELSE TRICKY ADVENTURERS open DOOR without the KEY. You will NEED KEY to OPEN DOOR and ADJUST HINGES.Kick it.(the lock not the sword)
You KICK the LOCK. OW. What a STUPID IDEA. The LOCK is made of BRONZE. YOUR FOOT is made of FLESH. BRONZE is HARDER than FLESH. OW.Use ECTOPLASM to summon a friendly homosexual ghost!
You ATTEMPT to SUMMON a FRIENDLY HOMOSEXUAL GHOST. YOU are SAUCY enough to SUCCEED. AWESOME. HAVE FUN with your NEW GAY GHOST BRO. BUT NOT IN THAT WAY. THAT WOULD BE WRONG AND AGAINST FORUM GUIDELINES. NOT COOL BRO. NOT COOL.Head to green curtains, pull them down!"
SILLY GREEN MONKEY PIRATE LIME. JOE BRIDGER has ALREADY ACTIVATED the TRAP. YOU can have MENTAL SCARRING TOO THOUGH. THOSE POOR POOR TOASTERS.
GREEN CURTAINS actually WORSE SHADE OF GREEN. BEST to LEAVE THEM UP and COVER POOR POOR TOASTERS.Examine all doors, walls, and piles of toasters.
EXAMINE THINGS? WALLS SICKLY GREEN. DOORS METAL AND GENERIC. PILE of TOASTERS DEAD and BAGGED. SIMPLE. NO SECRET DOORS or HIDDEN ITEMS in SIGHT.[Paralyzed for seeing so many toasters at once]
So...many...my mortal enemy...
IcyTea has gone berserk!
[Starts smacking the toasters]
KILL THEM ALL!
GUESS who DOES NOT LIKE TOASTER SMACKING?THAT'S RIGHT. TOASTER DOCTORS do not like TOASTER SMACKING. Perhaps use your AWESOME SKILLS to DEFEAT TOASTER DOCTORS. OR join XANTALOS for AWESOME DOUBLE-TEAM ACTION.(there's gotta be some toast around here somewhere..)
There is NO TOAST. ONLY BREAD. AND BREAD is ICYTEA, so you CAN'T EAT IT.Am I too late?
THIS IS NOUN PLACE. No one is TOO LATE. Only NOT PLAYING YET.((Also, what is this, a mad lib?))
NO. MAD LIBS wish they were as CRAZY as NOUN PLACE....
*Ahem*
Jakonas is warped into the
TOASTER HOSPITAL by Andrew Jackson, which is apparently something that happens to him a lot. He must be a friend of Jackson or something. Therefore he immediately opens the northern door before investigating the toasters blocking the western wall. Unfortunately they're not vulnerable to his Badassery or Face Punching. Either he'll need to complete the obvious
SQUATS skill challenge or get someone else to do it.
Xantalos, forgetting that
MIND CONTROL is his worse skill, harasses a
TOASTER DOCTOR into giving up his immortal soul. Obviously the
TOASTER DOCTOR is not amused, and pulls out a scalpel to rearrange Xantalos's facial features. Since this game has no combat system, Xantalos will need to creatively use his skills to win this fight, either by talking his way out, beating the
DOCTOR to death, challenging him to a game of Simon Says for his soul, or something along those lines. Or Xantalos could always run away, I guess.
Monkeyhead tries to use his ID to find a MRI, but forget's that toasters are magnetic, and thus MRIs would just damage them further. Plus
TOASTER HOSPITAL fits in a single room, so what you see is what you get.
Joe Bridger, naming his new Falcon companion Sasha, goes to open the
CURTAINS. Unfortunately behind the
CURTAINS is where they hold all of the worse cases, the poor, mangled toasters who have no hope of living. Even worse the
CURTAINS were a
TRAP, lowering his
MEMORIZATION skill by two ranks, and completely coincidentally raising the skills below that by a rank. Yep, an repeatable
TRAP that will lower your
MEMORIZATION by two ranks whenever it's used.
Having found what is most assuredly a
TRAP, Joe Bridger then goes through the open door labelled 'FREE CANDY' and finds himself in the
INHIBITOR CLOSET. The
INHIBITOR CLOSET is packed from wall to wall full of unmarked cardboard boxes, guarded by a
FEARSOME BAT, menacing with low-level skill challenges.
Everyone dicks around with the southern door, trying to get around the obvious fact that you'll need a
BRONZE KEY to open the southern door, those lazy gits. Obviously they do not succeed, though they do get points for creativity, I must say. Meanwhile Adam "Glitter" Fabulousexplosions uses his ectoplasm to summon a gay ghost. Since I do not want to get banned, you'll just have to accept my word that it's a homosexual spirit, and not merely a happy one.
While Bonolime decides that he could use some mental scarring and peeks behind the
CURTAIN (and thus loses two ranks in memorization), IcyTea snaps and starts beating up the ancient enemies of bread: Toasters. Though considering that they're all wounded/broken toasters, I'm pretty sure that IcyTea is committing some kind of horrible slaughter here. Luckily we can leave the ethnics of Bread-Toaster relations for another day, as the
TOASTER DOCTORS step forward to protect their charges. Why they don't call security I don't know. Probably because this is
NOUN PLACE and Guard Nest is several rooms and a couple of annoying puzzles away. Meh.
((awaiting rolls the return of the GM))
((after the rolls GM activity))
I'm aiming for an update at least every two days, though obviously I'm already slacking. Still, it was kinda Easter, and as long as I stick to the plan I should be fine. And if I don't stick to the plan... Well either way it should be a short game.
Also I've completed Final Fantasy III recently. Can you tell?
Toaster Hospital (?, ?) - CURTAINS: -2 Memorization
Inhibitor Closet (?, ?+1)
Name: Scapheap
Background: A simple man who does simple things
Description: Brown hair, blue eyes, tall
Skills:Mental Gymnastics: 1
Mind-Control: 2
Memorization: 3
Face Punching: 4
Handstands: 5
Moxie: 6
Sauciness: 7
Badassery: 8
Squats: 9
Inventory: Lantern
Name: Xantalos
Description: Cosmic horror blah blah blah
Skills:Mind-Control: 1
Badassery: 2
Mental Gymnastics: 3
Memorization: 4
Facepunching: 5
Squats: 6
Moxie: 7
Handstands: 8
Sauciness: 9
Inventory: Soul of the Damned
Name: MonkeyHead
Bio/Desc: A Monkey with the head of a man. Or was it the other way around? Either way, some kinda lab/medical experiment gone wrong, now looking for freedom, vengeance, and pancakes.
Skills:Handstands: 1
Mental Gymnastics: 2
Mind-Control: 3
Badassery: 4
Sauciness: 5
Squats: 6
Face Punching: 7
Moxie: 8
Memorization: 9
Inventory: Medical ID
Name: IcyTea
Bio: A loaf of bread that ,surprisingly,
got the moves. Crawls the dungeon in search for glory and fame, using it's dance moves to dodge attacks.
Moxie: 1
Badassery: 2
Sauciness: 3
Memorization: 4
Face Punching: 5
Squats: 6
Mental Gymnastics: 7
Handstands: 8
Mind-Control: 9
Inventory: Andrew Sisters's Phone Number
Name: Joe Bridger
Description: Pink bathrobe, long beard, wraparound shades, mid-80s, fedora, bunny slippers, walking stick, falconing glove.
Bio: A crazy and awesome man who has journeyed far on a quest to stop the attempts on his life by crazed prehistoric fish.
Skills:Badassery: 1
Mind-Control: 2
Handstands: 3
Face Punching: 4
Sauciness: 5
Mental Gymnastics: 6
Moxie: 7
Squats: 8
Memorization: 9
Inventory: Falcon
Name: Adam "Glitter" Fabulousexplosions
Desc: Wears a pink robe with a black belt and pilots shades has a sheathed vibrating toy and a bottle of lube on his belt. He claims its a ghost catching device.
Bio: Once upon a time he wasnt very fabulous NOW HE IS
Skills:Badassery: 1
Face punching: 2
Sauciness: 3
Mind control: 4
Moxie: 5
Hand stands: 7
Squats: 6
Mental gymnastics: 8
Memorisation: 9
Inventory: Homosexual Spirit
Name: Bonolime
Description: An unholy cross between the creator's username and avatar, it is essentially a green pirate monkey fruit.
Bio: Well, when a lime and a monkey love each other very much, they make baby GPMFs. Now he's been sailing the seas for treasure and stuff, and so decided to come to this place.
Skills:Moxie: 1
Squats: 2
Sauciness: 3
Face Punching: 4
Badassery: 5
Handstands: 6
Mental Gymnastics: 7
Mind Control: 8
Memorisation: 9
Inventory: Empty Bottle of Rum
Name: Regular Davis
Desc: A talking sword TWO DOUBLE AWESOME LONGSWORDSof AWESOMENESSBio: Got fed up with the idiodicy of it's previous owner and decided to strike out on it's own.
Skills:Memorization: 1
Mental Gymnastics: 2
Sauciness: 3
Badassery: 4
Mind-Control: 5
Moxie: 6
Face Punching: 7
Handstands: 8
Squats: 9
Inventory: Lampshade
Name: Grizzly Adams
Description: A horse-riding manly bear.
Background: Amnesiac that's kinda just wandering around. What's a bear?
Skills:Memorization: 1
Mind-Control: 2
Mental Gymnastics: 3
Moxie: 4
Sauciness: 5
Squats: 6
Hand Stands: 7
Badassery: 8
Face Punching: 9
Inventory: Horse Whip
Name: Jakonas
Background: 
Description: Has grey eyes, brown hair, constantly wears NOPANTS (which are an item, if removed or stolen, he appears wearing distasteful khakis that he hates) and a forest green jacket.
Skills:Face Punching: 1
Badassery: 2
Mind-Control: 3
Moxie: 4
Memorization: 5
Sauciness: 6
Squats: 7
Handstands: 8
Mental Gymnastics: 9
Inventory: NOPANTS
Author
Topic: NOUN PLACE! I HATE TO BE THAT PLUMBER. (Read 10468 times)