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[King DZA]

As an addmendum to Freeform's rant I would like to say that maybe before you bring the wrath of the mods down upon some poor guys head talk it out with them first. A lot of the times they may not know what their doing is creppy/wrong and will be glab (if not a little bit embarssed) if you warn them about it in a non-assholish way.

1+

In my opinion, it's always a better idea to try and work things out with some simple communication first so that people have a chance to try and correct their behavior, instead of being like those dick neighbors that always calls the cops on everyone without ever attempting to speak personally with the individuals bothering them.

[freeformschooler]

That's true, I usually at least allow one "what the Hell, man?" post to shake off any "I had a bad day" pseudo apologies so Toady doesn't have to give it a side glance and sort of wince.

[Hanslanda]

Like this whole topic is going to do to him?

Anyway, I'd like to say sorry. On perhaps as many as three seperate occasions, I have jokingly referenced myself as a collector of Bay12 ships. I would like to once again say that I do NOT have any Bay12 ships whatsoever, that it was all intended to be a joke, and finally, I'd like to say that I'm deeply sorry if I offended someone, creeped them out, or in any other manner made their visit to Bay12 unpleasant. I apologize for such actions, and, in the future, I will NOT be making such jokes anymore.

[Cassandra]

I never saw this thread, and I am rather curious / bothered...

Was I included in the shipping?

On a serious note, I feel it would have been fine, given certain limits... And given consent. From what I can tell, that wqsn't done. I can only assume it ended up going too far, like shipping always seems to. If something like this starts up, remember these golden rules.

1)Consent is key.

2)Always send a copy of the shipfic to the two involved in it, to get their approval, unless they stated in their consent that this was not needed.

3)Never go too far. We are a very liberal group with these topics, yes. But there are limits.

[kaijyuu]

I actually have a counter rant concerning the term "creepy" but that's kinda offtopic. Instead I'll give the short version:

There's two reasons I can see being "creepy" to be bad, and that is being threatening, or being gross. Nothing else. Threatening is obviously rather impossible here as very few people give out personal information; the worst I could see is harassment and that requires things happening over a prolonged period. As for being gross... I can sympathize with that though note I'm very adamantly against sexual repression, for personal reasons. If the "gross" response is from simple distaste, and not a kneejerk reaction against stuff "that should be private," then I'll sympathize. It's perfectly acceptable to be grossed out by someone hitting on you.


So yeah. I reserve the right to hit on people, though I will of course stop if they ask me to (note that I generally only do that to people I already know pretty well). Innuendo and such is more grey area, but if you're grossed out just inform me and I'll stop. Further of note, I made an IRC chat for most that stuff to be funneled into anyway, rather than cluttering the boards. Finally, there are of course the forum rules, but I do hope you have further reason to hit the report button or confront someone than just submission to authority for submission to authority's sake.


I don't know what "social boundaries" have been crossed, but I DO know that they are cultural constructs that differ from person to person, place to place, culture to culture. We may very well have different boundaries here than you are used to. Courtesy of course still exists, so make your opinion known and set up your own boundaries, and you should be fine. If you're not fine and something happens, I'll be on your side.

[King DZA]

Well gang, I guess today we all learned a little something about respecting our fellow forumites.

[freeformschooler]

There's two reasons I can see being "creepy" to be bad, and that is being threatening, or being gross. Nothing else. Threatening is obviously rather impossible here as very few people give out personal information; the worst I could see is harassment and that requires things happening over a prolonged period. As for being gross... I can sympathize with that though note I'm very adamantly against sexual repression, for personal reasons. If the "gross" response is from simple distaste, and not a kneejerk reaction against stuff "that should be private," then I'll sympathize. It's perfectly acceptable to be grossed out by someone hitting on you.

Those are the only "real" effects, yes. But other things like the environment created (or necessary to create) when you have a bunch of people acting really inappropriately - but not on such a scale to be reported  - must also be considered.

I, personally, could not give two flips about someone on the Internet hitting on me or crossing a line. But I know others do, no matter how unrealistic, and the existence of people who consistently act inappropriately and out of line creates an environment of passive hostility.

[kaijyuu]

Well if it doesn't leak over into something that is a problem (threatening or gross), I don't see an issue. If it does leak over, well, that's worthy of a report/etc and should be resolved.

Boundaries are boundaries. If you have to be a mile away before it is considered an acceptable distance, then the real boundary is a mile away from where the boundary markers are.

So yeah. I'm fine with people skirting the line so long as they never cross it.

[moocowmoo]

Never heard of shipping before, holy shit. Personally I would feel offended and creeped out. Can't imagine why anyone would *want* to ship me though. Well, besides the shapely hooves and tantalizing udder, if you know what I mean, you furry shippers out there.

[misko27]

An announcement: I feel I've really, really damaged the trust the community had in me (if it had any- it's kind of hard to tell with something so nebulous), and also pissed off a number of people whom I respect and like. I was a creepy, thoughtless, heartless bastard.

As a result, I am, starting now, taking a hiatus from bay12, as penance, if you will; really I think I just need to take a break from the community for a good while. I doubt some of the wounds I've inflicted will ever really fully heal, which is just as well, considering how deep they were. It may be for a month, it may be until the release is out, it may be a year, it could be permanent. I may see you all around, or I may not.

But thank you all for the good times, the bad times, and calling me out on my shit in the worst times. Y'all are probably the best forum community I've ever been a part of. You're something special. And don't ever forget it.

dhokarena56 vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Hmph. I did that first.
 
Anyway, Since dhokarena decided to jump the gun, I might as well say it. I'm muting myself. Since I was the worse person here, I should do it.

I'm not going to repeat what I've said to others, so I'll sumarize: I never sent that cursed ship to anyone. Never. Nor did I post it. Nein. Nyet. Nihil. I also did not reference janet, at any time. At worst, I made a series of Vague Allusions as to the content. I thought that was within the bounds of the thread. I was so wrong.

And So I mute myself. I don't know for how long, I orignally planned on a week, but I've struggled with myself. I;ve fluctuated from leaving forever to not leaving at all. I've agonized, revised well inot the night, lost m work a few times, and so now I come to you. I ask that someone gives me a length to leave. I guess, I also want to see how badly I've damaged myself in your eyes.

TL;DR I screwed up. I went to far. I do that sometimes. I'm terrible. Bye bay 12

NOTE: Seriously, at least give me a range. A ballppark, a endzone for christ sake.

[Cassandra]

While I doubt you'll listen to me...

I don't think you should mute yourself for even a week. Take a day, maybe two if you feel the need, then come back. We're not a lynch mob, and quite frankly... You said yourself that you didn't post the very thing you feel we should dislike or hate you for.

But hey, I didn't exactly see the thread, so I doubt my voice even matters.

[Zrk2]

Behold the paradox that is Bay 12.

Informed, yet repressed.

Liberal, yet conservative.

Open, yet closed.

Immature, but mature about it.

Carry on, dear forumites.

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Am I the only one who had to urbandictionary 'shipping'?

Also, I saw none of this happen.

Well gang, I guess today we all learned a little something about respecting our fellow forumites.

I was thoroughly confused when this wasn't about

shipping.

[Darvi]

6) Are just flat out creepers for any other reason.

That'ssssss a nice everything you have there...

Am I the only one who had to urbandictionary 'shipping'?

Probably, 'cause the other people who asked got a link explaining what it is.

[Trapezohedron]

And I'm somewhat saddened by this turn of events.

Was I ever included in any ship, and if anybody could give me a summary (I know you won't), could I ask about what exactly happened?

This is starting to sound like Noodle Incident to me. Probably better that way, I think.