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Author Topic: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!  (Read 26109 times)

Yoink

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--SO MANY BONUSES!
« Reply #225 on: December 03, 2012, 11:13:48 pm »

BUT THAT NOT MAKE SENSE

THEREFORE YOU STILL MORTAL, AND VULNERABLE TO SPOONING
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--SO MANY BONUSES!
« Reply #226 on: December 03, 2012, 11:14:46 pm »

I NEVER SAID I WAS IMMUNE.

JUST THAT I WAS GOD.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

borno

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--SO MANY BONUSES!
« Reply #227 on: December 03, 2012, 11:33:07 pm »

GM MISSED MY ACTION! :'(
YEAH, BEING SUED AND BEAT UP MULTIPLE TIMES DOES THAT TO YOU. SORRY, THOUGH.
YOINK'S ACTION
[4] GM REALISES THAT YOU'RE RIGHT. WORLD DESTRUCTION IMMINENT.
Go old testament on the closet. And by that, I mean SMITE THE DOOR WITH A MASSIVE SWORD!

And by massive sword, I mean that I won't be descending from heaven to hit that door. I see no way this could go wrong.
[3+1+1] YOU SMASH THE DOOR SO HARD, IT NEVER EXISTED. WAIT, WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT AGAIN?
YOU ALSO GET BONUS
>PUNCH DOOR. OPEN.
>Rewrite physics so all bonuses are gone, and make the GM omnipotent.
>Lead rebellion of hell and disaffected angels. Defeat Corai.
>Aid Spinal if that fails.
>Get suit on, start ceremonies.

WHAT DOOR?
[4] YOU START WRITING. THEN LOOK ON YOUR WORK, PROUD. EVERY SINGLE BONUS IN THE WORLD IS FADING.
[1] WHAT'S HELL? ANYWAY, SOME DISAFFECTED ANGELS COME AND TRY TO BEAT YOU UP FOR TAKING THEIR BONUSES.
[4V3][6V6] YOU RUN OUT OF THERE, BUT THEN REMEMBER THE WEDDING AND RUN BACK. THE ANGELS ARE GONE, PROBABLY LOOKING FOR YOU.
[1] YOU ATTACK SPINAL!
[1V4+1][1+1V4] HE DODGES!
[3] YOU HAVE SOME TROUBLE FINDING YO-- WAIT, YOU NEVER EVEN BOUGHT A SUIT! SHIT!
>Be SPIDER-THEMED.

>Dance the MULTI-LEGGED SHUFFLE.

>Quietly go to LAW SCHOOL. Yes, quietly!

[1] YOU TRY TO GET A SPIDER TO BITE YOU. IT DOES, AND YOU FEEL YOUR CONCIOUSNESS SEEPING.
[5] YOU MANAGE TO DO THE MULTI-LEGGED SHUFFLE BEFORE YOU PASS OUT. WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU REALISE YOU ARE SPIDER MAN!
[6] YOU GO TO LAW SCHOOL SO QUIETLY NO-ONE NOTICES YOU. WHEN YOU FINALLY SPEAK IN CLASS, THE TEACHER GETS SUCH A SHOCK SHE TRIES TO BEAT YOU TO DEATH!
[4V6+1][3+1V1][2] YOU GTFO OF THERE!
>STEAL ALL PENS AND BRIEFCASES
>USE THEIR HIDDEN POWER TO BECOME ROBOGOD-MK2
>INVENT NEW DANCE ROUTINE
[3] YOU STEAL A PEN AND BRIEFCASE OFF SOMEONE'S DESK.
[3] YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH! IF ONLY YOU HAD THE GUTS TO STEAL SOME LIKE YOU WERE TOLD...
[3] IT IS AN ADEQUATE DANCE ROUTINE. YOU GET A FEW COINS FLICKED YOUR WAY, MOSTLY OUT OF PITY THOUGH.
THANK HUMANS.
THEN BRING AS MAY WITH ME TO ANOTHER WORLD.
AND HELP GM.
[3] YOU THANK THE HUMANS HALF-HEARTEDLY
[1] YOU TRY TO, BUT THE WORLD EXPLODES, WITH YOU IN IT! YOU DIE.
[4][4] GM RESURRECTS YOU FOR HELPING!
Fuck Corai.
Interesting plan.

Rewrite laws of physics to give me a bonus to rewriting the laws of physics.
[1] YOU RANDOMLY DIE, AGAIN. THIS TIME SOME OTHER GHOSTS TRY TO BEAT YOU UP FOR YOUR ECTOPLASM.
[2V4][4V1][3] YOU BEAT THEM UP
"GM! Cut that destruction thing out!"

Now then,  the GM was beneath me. The GM is the boss of the players, so that makes all players also beneath me, no matter how inflated their ego gets. Thus, use the centralized top-down power structure I set up to funnel the power of those beneath me into me,

Of course, this action isn't directed at anyone personally... Not at all....

"BUT IT'S THIS WORLD'S ONLY HOPE!"
[1] YOU RESIGN, AND GIVE YOUR POSITION TO [8] YOURSELF.
SUE EVERYONE.
[4V6][3V1][3] EVERYONE SUES YOU
ITEMS: HOLY GUN, +1 TO SHOOTING HOLY GUN, +1 TO MOST THINGS, +1 TO LAWYERING, GM'S POWERS (+1), SUPER COPS POWERS (+1)

HOLY.

FUCKING.

CRAP.

IMPEDE ALL ACTIONS AGAINST ME, ALSO IMPEDE SPINAL_TAPER(HA NICE TRY, I SAW THE EDIT).

GIVE EVERYONE PUPPIES! EVERYONE GETS PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-Edit-

Give GM a kitten and a "I'm sorry I stole your powers" note.
[3+1+1] YOU IMPEDE ALL ACTIONS IN THE WORLD AGAINST YOU FROM NOW
[3+1+1]EVERYONE GETS PUPPIES.
[5] GM FORGIVES YOU FOR STEALING HIS POWERS, AND STOPS THE WORLD FROM EXPLODING.
[2]HE ALSO TRIES TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, BUT WITH NO POWERS, HE CAN'T!
>RESPAWN AS THE OLD COCO POPS MASCOT.

>REVEAL CORAI AS A FALSE GOD AND DECAPITATE HIM WITH A SPOON.


C'MON GUYS ASSIST THIS ACTION
[2] YOU RESPAWN AS AN OLD COCO POPS MAGGOT. PEOPLE FIND YOU DISGUSTING.
[4-1] A FEW PEOPLE BELIEVE YOU, BUT MOST THINK THAT YOU'RE JUST AN OLD COCO POPS MAGGOT.
[5V1+1+1+1+1] YOU ALMOST DECAPITATE HIM, BUT HE JUST HAS SO MANY BONUSES!



[4] THE DEMONS ABSCOND THROUGH A RANDOM PORTAL!
WORLD DESTRUCTION IMMINENT.

MISKO27: HELPING ALIENS, WEDDING TIME!
ITEMS: PHONE x4, BRIEFCASE x4, FAUNA QUEENLORD (ENGAGED), SIZEABLE FORTUNE, LIFE SAVINGS, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, PISTOL

GREATWYRMGOLD: RE-RE-REWRITING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, FINALLY OUT OF HELL!
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, $1000

CORAI: SO MANY BONUSES
ITEMS: HOLY GUN, +1 TO SHOOTING HOLY GUN, +1 TO MOST THINGS, +1 TO LAWYERING, GM'S POWERS (+1), SUPER COPS POWERS (+1)

YOINK: BECOMING THE WOOOORLD, CREATING WWIIII
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT, OLD MAGGOT, HAREM

TAVIK TOTH: CREATING WWIII
ITEMS: NOTHING

LORDSLOWPOKE: MUTINY
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS, HARDRIVE

CASSANDRA: BEING RANDOM JERK, TELLING STORIES, WEDDING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, COOL SWORD, SOME CAKE, ARCHANGEL ASSKICKING GEAR (+1),

SPINAL TAPER: USURPING POWER
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, GATLING GUN

THURISLORD: MAKING CAKE, CREATING PARADOXES
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, SOME CAKE
Logged

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--MY BRAIN HURTS
« Reply #228 on: December 03, 2012, 11:35:35 pm »

USE GOD POWERS TO STOP THE END OF THE WORLD.

IF FAIL, WARP THE WORLD TO ANOTHER DIMENSION.

IF THAT FAILS, TELEPORT EVERYONE TO SAFETY.


IF THAT FAILS, SUE THE WORLD AND MAKE IT STOP EXPLODING. <<<DO THIS


ALSO: Purchase GM new powers.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2012, 11:41:58 pm by Corai »
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Cassandra

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--MY BRAIN HURTS
« Reply #229 on: December 03, 2012, 11:41:04 pm »

Give the GM his power back, Corai. You know it must be done.

Make Misko a suit.
Logged
Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

Yoink

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--MY BRAIN HURTS
« Reply #230 on: December 03, 2012, 11:43:00 pm »

>GRAB A WHOLE BUNCH OF SMALL CHILDREN FROM CEREAL AISLE AT NEARBY SUPERMARKET

>USE THEIR PURE, UNDILUTED SUGAR-RUSH-FLAVOURED JOY TO GET MY OWN BONUSES

>THEN DECAPITATE CORAI WITH A SPOON AND SAVE THE WORLD
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

GreatWyrmGold

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--SO MANY BONUSES!
« Reply #231 on: December 03, 2012, 11:45:13 pm »

I had an action, you know...

Rewrite laws of physics to give me a bonus to rewriting the laws of physics.

Repeat previous action if not being retconned.
Rewrite laws of physics so universe won't be destroyed.
Logged
Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

misko27

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--MY BRAIN HURTS
« Reply #232 on: December 04, 2012, 12:13:04 am »

>SUE THE BOMB
>Fuck it, suits are for pussys. Start the ceremonies anyway! By the end of this action I expect to be at "I do" If we are goign to die wee are going to be married.
>"I do" Kiss her passionately
> Yay! Play the Godfather Themesong, which doubles as walts.
Logged
The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

borno

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYE--MY BRAIN HURTS
« Reply #233 on: December 04, 2012, 12:51:57 am »

USE GOD POWERS TO STOP THE END OF THE WORLD.

IF FAIL, WARP THE WORLD TO ANOTHER DIMENSION.

IF THAT FAILS, TELEPORT EVERYONE TO SAFETY.


IF THAT FAILS, SUE THE WORLD AND MAKE IT STOP EXPLODING. <<<DO THIS


ALSO: Purchase GM new powers.
[1+1+1V2+1] THE WORLD IS BEING DESTROYED ALL AROUND YOU, IT'S IN NO CONDITION TO GO TO COURT!
[5] YOU USE ALL YOUR MONEY TO GIVE GM NEW POWERS, AND SOME SAVING WORLD POWERS FOR GOOD MEASURE.
Give the GM his power back, Corai. You know it must be done.

Make Misko a suit.
[4] YOU MAKE A SUIT, AND GIVE IT TO MISKO.
>GRAB A WHOLE BUNCH OF SMALL CHILDREN FROM CEREAL AISLE AT NEARBY SUPERMARKET

>USE THEIR PURE, UNDILUTED SUGAR-RUSH-FLAVOURED JOY TO GET MY OWN BONUSES

>THEN DECAPITATE CORAI WITH A SPOON AND SAVE THE WORLD
[4] YOU KIDNAP SOME CHILDREN WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING
[2] YOU OPEN UP THE SACK TO FIND... VEGETABLE CHILDREN! OH NO, YOU TOOK FROM THE WRONG ISLE!
[2V3+1+1+1+1][1+1+1+1+1V4][6] CORAI TAKES THE SPOON, AND EATS IT. YOU LAUGH AS HE STARTS TO CHOKE.
I had an action, you know...

Rewrite laws of physics to give me a bonus to rewriting the laws of physics.

Repeat previous action if not being retconned.
Rewrite laws of physics so universe won't be destroyed.

[2] YOU JUST CAN'T DO IT, HOWEVER YOU TRY! THE UNIVERSE JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!
[2] NEITHER THAT.
>SUE THE BOMB
>Fuck it, suits are for pussys. Start the ceremonies anyway! By the end of this action I expect to be at "I do" If we are goign to die wee are going to be married.
>"I do" Kiss her passionately
> Yay! Play the Godfather Themesong, which doubles as walts.
NO BOMB ANYMORE
[2V6+1][4+1V5+1]YOU TRY TO SUE THE WORLD INSTEAD, BUT IT'S TOO BUSY.
[2] NO YOU NEED A SUIT! YOU TAKE CASSANDRA'S SUIT, AND [2+1] START THE CEREMONIES. FAUNA IS LOOKING NERVOUS, AND FINALLY, AT THE END, FAUNA SAYS [3] "I DON'T KNOW..."
YOU SAY I DO THOUGH, AND [5] SMOOCH SMOOCH. SHE SAYS YES AFTER, AT LEAST.
YOU THEN PLAY THE GODFATHER THEMESONG.



[4+1+1] GM DECIDES TO CREATE A NEW WORLD, CALLED "WORLD TWO." EVERYONE RUNS INSIDE TO FIND IT INFESTED WITH EVIL GUYS. WORLD GETS DESTROYED AFTER THEM.


MISKO27: HELPING ALIENS, WEDDING TIME!
ITEMS: PHONE x4, BRIEFCASE x4, FAUNA QUEENLORD (MARRIED), SMALL FORTUNE, LIFE SAVINGS, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, PISTOL, PUPPY

GREATWYRMGOLD: RE-RE-REWRITING THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, FINALLY OUT OF HELL!
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, PEN, LAWS OF PHYSICS, $1000, PUPPY

CORAI: SO MANY BONUSES
ITEMS: HOLY GUN, +1 TO SHOOTING HOLY GUN, +1 TO MOST THINGS, +1 TO LAWYERING, GM'S POWERS (+1), SUPER COPS POWERS (+1)

YOINK: BECOMING THE WOOOORLD, CREATING WWIIII
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, 1/2 SMALL FORTUNE, PEN, LAW ENFORCEMENT, OLD MAGGOT, HAREM, PUPPY

TAVIK TOTH: CREATING WWIII
ITEMS: NOTHING, PUPPY

LORDSLOWPOKE: MUTINY
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, YEAR'S SUPPLY OF BAGELS, HARDRIVE, PUPPY

CASSANDRA: BEING RANDOM JERK, TELLING STORIES, WEDDING
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, COOL SWORD, SOME CAKE, ARCHANGEL ASSKICKING GEAR (+1),

SPINAL TAPER: USURPING POWER
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, GATLING GUN, PUPPY

THURISLORD: MAKING CAKE, CREATING PARADOXES, PUPPY
ITEMS: PHONE, BRIEFCASE, SOME CAKE
Logged

Cassandra

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #234 on: December 04, 2012, 12:55:57 am »

Hold up sword. Intimidate baddies.

If that fails, cut them all in half.
Logged
Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #235 on: December 04, 2012, 12:56:44 am »

"I HAVE FAILED."

SMITE SOME OF THE EVIL OF THIS WORLD. APPOINT MISKO AND GREATWYRMGOLD TO MAINTAIN THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL.

MISKO, YOU EVIL PERSON. GREATWYRMGOLD, YOU GOOD PERSON.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

misko27

  • Bay Watcher
  • Lawful Neutral; Prophet of Pestilence
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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #236 on: December 04, 2012, 01:02:01 am »

"I HAVE FAILED."

SMITE SOME OF THE EVIL OF THIS WORLD. APPOINT MISKO AND GREATWYRMGOLD TO MAINTAIN THE BALANCE OF GOOD AND EVIL.

MISKO, YOU EVIL PERSON. GREATWYRMGOLD, YOU GOOD PERSON.

NO. I've been evil enough. I stick with Lawful Nuetral.
 
Hmm. Fine. I am still judge though. I don't want to upset Fauna.
 
Create in this world a domain for the evils to reign, or at least be banished to.
Logged
The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Corai

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #237 on: December 04, 2012, 01:03:47 am »

"Boy, you don't need to be evil. Just be evil when the goodness becomes too much. Blow up a orphanage every now and again."
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

misko27

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  • Lawful Neutral; Prophet of Pestilence
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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #238 on: December 04, 2012, 01:05:19 am »

"Boy, you don't need to be evil. Just be evil when the goodness becomes too much. Blow up a orphanage every now and again."
...
 
I could do that. Easier to corrupt thigns slowly though. And do you know who are good at that?
 
LAWYERS! AND I AIN'T TALKIN NO WHITE KNIGHTS OR PHOENIX WRIGHTS EITHER.

>Start looking for honeymoon spots, by which I mean let Fauna do it.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 01:19:45 am by misko27 »
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

Yoink

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Re: YOU ARE LAWYER. ONE WORLD DOWN, ONE TO GO!
« Reply #239 on: December 04, 2012, 04:11:33 am »

>STEAL MORE CHILDREN. HAPPY, SUGAR-FILLED HUMAN ONES THIS TIME.

>BRIBE THEM WITH CHOCOLATE TO SHARE THEIR POWER WITH ME, THEN USE IT TO SAVE THE WORLD. SUMMON GIANT SPOON AS WEAPON.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.
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