Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 267 268 [269] 270 271 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715754 times)

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4020 on: April 25, 2018, 03:01:38 pm »

Not my joke, but the supermarket's.

One particular brand and type and subtype of biscuit on a shelf (i.e. differing only by weight, due to the number of biscuits in the packet, and price). On the left, there are 300g packs for £1 (33.p/100g). On the right, you have the option of larger 433g packs for £2.29 (52.8p/100g). Slap bang in the middle, proudly claiming "NEW", are 266g packs for £1.50 (56.4p/100g).

And I'm quoting the actual price-per-100g actually listed on the shelf-ticket.

Funny, eh? Thought so.

* Starver munches most of the way through one of the three £1 packs that were bought. Already eyeing the second one, and trying to find out where to hide the third whilst otherwise distracted by the first two.
You should invest in a repackaging plant
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Kagus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Olive oil. Don't you?
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4021 on: April 25, 2018, 03:02:52 pm »

Norway has those too, but tends to display the price per kilo alongside the unit price.

This is, however... Sometimes inaccurate. Like the time I observed a 1kg bucket of pickled herring (yes, you can buy buckets of it) with a unit price of 35.90NOK, and a kilo price of... 94.47NOK.

Descan

  • Bay Watcher
  • [HEADING INTENSIFIES]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4022 on: April 25, 2018, 03:24:02 pm »

Maybe the actual pickled herring part was what the kilo price was listing, and the "1kg of pickled herring" includes both the weight of the medium it's suspended in, and the weight of the bucket?

Which would mean that that 1kg of pickled herring was only 38% pickled herring.

Those monsters.


... Pickled herring.
Logged
Quote from: SalmonGod
Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4023 on: April 25, 2018, 03:24:30 pm »

Maybe the bucket is counted towards the 1kg and made of lead?

fakedit: ninja'd
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Starver

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4024 on: April 25, 2018, 03:54:33 pm »

These price-per-weight things are sometimes inconsistent. Identical (save for flavour/chocolate-darkness/nuts-or-fruit-or-whatever-variations) packets can be listed as tens of pence per 100g on one type's shelf-sticker and exactly equivalent pounds (sterling) per kg on another. Easily converted between.

Cheese blocks, also, and price-per-100ml vs a price-per-litre 10 times higher on liquids in identical cans/bottles/tetrapacks.

Doesn't matter too much, mostly. At least it's not price-per-oz versus price-per-lb versus price-per-stone, or fl.oz/pints/gallons.


Though I have spotted obvious errors, as well as mere conversion inconsistencies. A box of (frexample) six ?30?g cereal bars for a given price (the same for all flavoured variations) has been given price/120g (converted to each of 100g or 1kg base units, seemingly at random) correctly, except for one sub-brand where the data-entryer has thinkoed and made the system display the (converted) price/30g value, i.e. six times what it should be.

I even regularly mentioned one example of this to any nearby shelf-stacker/roaming-assistant/till-worker who looked open to a bit of smalltalk for several months regarding the actual product I'm half remembering just above (I don't religiously cross-compare my values for money, it just sometimes jumps out at me, and once I'd spotted this one I kept going back and checking it), and can only presume that there wasn't any simple way to pass on the information to the people sitting directly in front the stock-control computer. I thought about taking the offending label off of the shelf, correcting it in red pen and shoving it in a suggestions/feedback box (each and every time it invariably got replaced), but I didn't want to be anal about it.  ;)
Logged

Kagus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Olive oil. Don't you?
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4025 on: April 25, 2018, 04:10:47 pm »

Quote from: Descan
snip
Quote from: martinuzz
snip
Nope, neither... 1kg weight includes the brine and the onions, and the bucket was just plastic and not factored into the weight. It was simply a case someone not paying attention when plugging the numbers into the price display.

I'm pretty sure nobody actually reads the kilo price anyways, that would require much too much investment from the customer in our service-obsessed grocery culture. Remember that the major grocers in this country once removed bulk leeks from the produce aisle in favor of plastic-wrapped pre-packaged single leek stalks with the greens cut off... And called it a revolutionary leap in service and accommodation.

They got called out on it, hard, but it was wholly in character... You're legitimately not expected to look at what you're picking up, all quality control is to be handled by the store.



An ion tried to burgle a mansion, but he was too careful... Now he's a caution.

Descan

  • Bay Watcher
  • [HEADING INTENSIFIES]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4026 on: April 25, 2018, 04:53:07 pm »

was he a ...

...

...cat burglar?
Logged
Quote from: SalmonGod
Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

Kagus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Olive oil. Don't you?
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4027 on: April 26, 2018, 03:52:07 pm »

was he a ...

...

...cat burglar?

No no, he was simply too cautious, so he became a caught ion.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4028 on: April 27, 2018, 09:47:23 am »

If the burglary had gone well, though, it would have been lucrative. He'd have been a lion, if not a cat ion.
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

Tawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • the first mankind all over the world
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4029 on: April 28, 2018, 09:27:23 pm »

What do I do when I'm sailing into a port in medieval Egypt and see one of my haters?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

KittyTac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Impending Catsplosion. [PREFSTRING:aloofness]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4030 on: April 30, 2018, 02:18:09 am »

Bashing someone's head in with a violin is...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Don't trust this toaster that much, it could be a villain in disguise.
Mostly phone-posting, sorry for any typos or autocorrect hijinks.

KittyTac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Impending Catsplosion. [PREFSTRING:aloofness]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4031 on: May 02, 2018, 12:56:48 am »

I tried to memorize the periodic table, but could not get past element 5, Boron!
Logged
Don't trust this toaster that much, it could be a villain in disguise.
Mostly phone-posting, sorry for any typos or autocorrect hijinks.

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4032 on: May 02, 2018, 05:38:23 am »

Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

TD1

  • Bay Watcher
  • Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4033 on: May 02, 2018, 06:21:26 am »

Emmm
..
Wrong thread?

Wait. Nevermind. Fret. Hah.
Logged
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination
  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
Sigtext!
Poetry Thread

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #4034 on: May 02, 2018, 06:22:56 am »

'fret'
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
Pages: 1 ... 267 268 [269] 270 271 ... 316