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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712387 times)

BlackHeartKabal

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3345 on: June 17, 2016, 01:41:57 pm »
Quote from: Antsan on June 17, 2016, 01:41:19 pm
I don't get any of these.

Found the following on some site I already forgot.
An SQL query comes into a bar. It walks up to two tables and asks: "Hey, may I join you?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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martinuzz

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3346 on: June 17, 2016, 02:00:56 pm »
Quote from: hector13 on June 15, 2016, 10:02:23 pm
Quote from: Yoink on June 15, 2016, 10:00:21 pm
What is a Muslim's favourite clothing brand?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is clever, which normally makes a joke good, but it's also quite stupid.

You seem to have broken my joke judge-O-meter.
I've been thinking about opening a second hand bombvest outlet. Come get it cheap, only been used once!
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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3347 on: June 17, 2016, 06:47:43 pm »
It must be hard to train terrorists in suicide bombings.
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Power/metagaming RL since Birth/Born to do it.
Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Tawa

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3348 on: June 17, 2016, 09:27:37 pm »
Why did the vampire cross the road?
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BlackHeartKabal

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3349 on: June 17, 2016, 09:36:01 pm »
Quote from: Tawa on June 17, 2016, 09:27:37 pm
Why did the vampire cross the road?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
DIO DIO DIO
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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3350 on: June 20, 2016, 04:44:30 am »
A couple was walking around the countryside in Russia nearby Moscow before the collapse of the Soviet Union. They passed a destroyed house which was still smoking. They cautiously entered the house and, upon seeing the interior, called the russian police [I don't know the word]. Upon their arrival the police found bits and pieces of a bomb vest everywhere. After analysing it in a lab they discovered that a terrorist plot had been scheduled to be sprung in Moscow the same day, and that the bomb vest had been rigged to blow up when a mobile phone received a text message. After managing to recover the phone (a Nokia) they discovered that it had been a spam text message which had detonated the vest while the person had been getting ready that morning.


Meanwhile, the CIA found out and the first thing they said was:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Power/metagaming RL since Birth/Born to do it.
Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Twinwolf

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3351 on: June 20, 2016, 05:47:24 am »
That was a great joke, wrong thread.
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Antsan

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3352 on: June 20, 2016, 05:55:51 am »
Just see it like this: This thread is a predicate "isTerribleJoke" and you just posting this just meant that the predicate returned "false" for the joke posted.
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BorkBorkGoesTheCode

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3353 on: June 21, 2016, 02:50:11 am »
"The dynamite industry is booming" - Somebody in the mists of time.
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Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3354 on: June 21, 2016, 03:31:41 am »
Donald Trump's psychologist once told him to build a bridge and get over it.
Spoiler: lewd to the 50th degree (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3355 on: June 21, 2016, 05:20:56 pm »
I get the lewdness, though not the joke. Care to enlighten me?
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Loud Whispers

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3356 on: June 21, 2016, 06:04:28 pm »
Something about getting off on bridges
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hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3357 on: June 21, 2016, 06:10:38 pm »
Something about all Mexicans being rapist drug-dealers prob'ly.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Insanegame27

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3358 on: June 21, 2016, 08:05:44 pm »
It plays on the idea of 'all mexicans are rapists' and how trump wants to build that wall around Mexico.
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Power/metagaming RL since Birth/Born to do it.
Quote from: Second Amendment
A militia cannot function properly without arms, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without tanks and warplanes, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear tanks and warplanes, shall not be infringed.
The military cannot function without ICBMs, therefore the right of the people to keep and bear ICBMs, shall not be infringed.

hector13

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #3359 on: June 26, 2016, 09:49:06 pm »
Why do people use shampoo to clean their hair?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why is the shamrock the symbol of Ireland?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Why do people drink champagne?

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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on May 25, 2013, 11:59:58 pm
Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

Quote from: FallacyofUrist on January 06, 2023, 03:52:40 am
the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.
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