Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 51 52 [53] 54 55 ... 316

Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 712170 times)

Something Evil

  • Bay Watcher
  • Allignment: Neutral Predatory
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #780 on: August 10, 2014, 07:09:37 pm »

Q: How is mass-executing individuals with the Pariah gene like male infertility?
A: You're shooting Blanks.
Logged
Quote from: Vector
In a world with so many hydras, who am I to throw away my extra swords?
Quote from: Encased in burning magma
THIS UNDEAD THREAD SHALL BE WOVEN INTO UNDEAD SOCKS
Quote from: ragnarok97071
Hot Chocolate is like Dakka. You can never have enuff of it, and you should try not to drop it on your pants.
Quote from: Burnt Pies
Soon I shall be fluent in Box, including obscure dialects such as Pyramid, Sphere and Japanese.

Tawa

  • Bay Watcher
  • the first mankind all over the world
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #781 on: August 10, 2014, 07:29:30 pm »

What does a pissed GM playing DnD with the Knights who say Ni do when he wants to quit?

"Somebody says 'it', everyone dies."
Logged
I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Bohandas

  • Bay Watcher
  • Discordia Vobis Com Et Cum Spiritum
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #782 on: August 11, 2014, 11:43:12 am »

Q: How is mass-executing individuals with the Pariah gene like male infertility?
A: You're shooting blanks.

Q. How is killing a Tae-Bo instructor like male infertility
A. You're shooting Blanks
Logged
NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις

Iceblaster

  • Bay Watcher
  • Now with 50% less in-jokes!
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #783 on: August 12, 2014, 04:33:22 pm »

Q: How does one get a Communist to shut up?
A: Tell them that their talking is taking air away from others.

tahujdt

  • Bay Watcher
  • The token conservative
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #784 on: August 13, 2014, 07:56:22 am »

Q: what is the proper way to begin a political joke in Russia?


A: looking over your shoulder.
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Bohandas

  • Bay Watcher
  • Discordia Vobis Com Et Cum Spiritum
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #785 on: August 14, 2014, 01:19:02 am »

"I like my women like I like my steak: dead"

"Q. What's the difference between a man and a pig?
A. I'm don't like to have sex with men"

"Q. What's the difference between horse jizz and soymilk?
A. One is good to drink and the other is soymilk."

"Q. How do you get twenty children into a minivan?
A. Crush them into a thick red paste and pump it in through a partially open window"

"Yo mama's so filthy and disgusting that she appeals to my secret fetish"

"Jesus loves you but nobody else does"

"Q. What's the difference between the Holy Bible and Plan 9 From Outer Space?
A. The plot of Plan 9 makes more sense"

"Q. What's the difference between a schizophrenic and a member of the New Age movement?
A. One suffers from powerful and bizarre delusions and the other is schizophrenic."

"Q. What's the difference between a person and a fish?
A. I don't like to eat fish"

"An asian man goes on the Tilt-A-Whirl at an amusement park. To his companions' astonishment, when the ride ends he has become white and is no longer asian. Everyone is baffled by how this can possibly be until the ride operator explains that this kind of ride can be very disorienting."

« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 09:01:21 am by Bohandas »
Logged
NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις

Baffler

  • Bay Watcher
  • Caveat Lector.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #786 on: August 14, 2014, 01:45:32 am »

"I like my women like I like my steak: dead"

I like my coffee like I like my women.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Logged
Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Descan

  • Bay Watcher
  • [HEADING INTENSIFIES]
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #787 on: August 14, 2014, 01:57:35 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Quote from: SalmonGod
Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

Reelya

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #788 on: August 14, 2014, 02:27:43 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
@Descan: the canon version is
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 02:29:32 am by Reelya »
Logged

Avis-Mergulus

  • Bay Watcher
  • This adorable animal can't work.
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #789 on: August 14, 2014, 03:01:38 pm »

You've probably heard those before, but:

I like my coffee like I like my women -

Spoiler (click to show/hide)



I like my coffee like I like my women.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)



* Avis stares at Baffler disapprovingly

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
“See this Payam!” cried the gods, “He deceives us! He cruelly abuses our lustful hearts!”

Dutchling

  • Bay Watcher
  • Ridin' with Biden
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #790 on: August 14, 2014, 03:03:36 pm »

Might as well post the joke I accidentally posted in the terrified thread here.

What do Michelle Obama and George Zimmerman have in common?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

Bohandas

  • Bay Watcher
  • Discordia Vobis Com Et Cum Spiritum
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #791 on: August 14, 2014, 03:22:08 pm »

Might as well post the joke I accidentally posted in the terrified thread here.

What do Michelle Obama and George Zimmerman have in common?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

On a similar note (and I wasn't originally going to post this one until a few months passed because atm it pushes the limits of how much bad taste is excusible, but now I think you've forced me to)...
Logged
NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις

mastahcheese

  • Bay Watcher
  • Now with 20% less sanity and trans fat!
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #792 on: August 14, 2014, 04:46:31 pm »

Is it a bad sign that I genuinely laugh at some of these? Occasionally?
Logged
Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

kaenneth

  • Bay Watcher
  • Catching fish
    • View Profile
    • Terrible Web Site
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #793 on: August 14, 2014, 04:53:07 pm »

Might as well post the joke I accidentally posted in the terrified thread here.

What do Michelle Obama and George Zimmerman have in common?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

On a similar note (and I wasn't originally going to post this one until a few months passed because atm it pushes the limits of how much bad taste is excusible, but now I think you've forced me to)...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged
Quote from: Karnewarrior
Jeeze. Any time I want to be sigged I may as well just post in this thread.
Quote from: Darvi
That is an application of trigonometry that never occurred to me.
Quote from: PTTG??
I'm getting cake.
Don't tell anyone that you can see their shadows. If they hear you telling anyone, if you let them know that you know of them, they will get you.

Bohandas

  • Bay Watcher
  • Discordia Vobis Com Et Cum Spiritum
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #794 on: August 14, 2014, 06:38:20 pm »

Might as well post the joke I accidentally posted in the terrified thread here.

What do Michelle Obama and George Zimmerman have in common?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

On a similar note (and I wasn't originally going to post this one until a few months passed because atm it pushes the limits of how much bad taste is excusible, but now I think you've forced me to)...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The reports that I heard said that he hung himself with a belt after slashing his wrists. :(
« Last Edit: August 15, 2014, 02:07:26 am by Bohandas »
Logged
NEW Petition to stop the anti-consumer, anti-worker, Trans-Pacific Partnership agreement
What is TPP
----------------------
Remember, no one can tell you who you are except an emotionally unattached outside observer making quantifiable measurements.
----------------------
Έπαινος Ερις
Pages: 1 ... 51 52 [53] 54 55 ... 316