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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715135 times)

scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #450 on: March 24, 2014, 05:30:51 pm »

I don't think computer appraising is a very profitable career!

:D

right?

....
....
.... anybody???

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Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #451 on: March 24, 2014, 05:31:52 pm »

This thread is lacking terrible Dutch jokes.

Quote
What does a Belgian think when he is changing in front of a mirror?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote
A Belgian works as a mechanic for a doorbell company. When he gets back from his first job his boss says: "Well, how did it go?". The Belgian answers: "I wasn't able to do anything, I rang six times but nobody answered!"

Quote
Two Belgians are pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks to the front door and the driver rolls down his window. The officer says: "We're looking for two serial rapists". The Belgian lowers the windows and starts talking to the other one.

A few minutes later he rolls his window down again and says: "Okay, we'll do it!".

Quote
A Belgian is taking a walk on a Dutch graveyard. He reads the text on one of the graves: "Jan van Kampen, a good father and a wonderful husband."

The Belgian thinks: "Those greedy Dutchmen, putting three bodies in a single grave..."
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #452 on: March 24, 2014, 05:33:14 pm »

So basically those are just Polish jokes with "Belgian" inserted instead.
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Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #453 on: March 24, 2014, 05:34:03 pm »

What makes you think that :P?
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scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #454 on: March 24, 2014, 05:36:06 pm »

So basically those are just [Nationality_1] jokes with [Nationality_2] inserted instead.

FTFY
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Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #455 on: March 24, 2014, 05:37:06 pm »

Jeez, this is getting POLE-erized.
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #456 on: March 24, 2014, 05:38:28 pm »

Jeez, this is getting POLE-erized.

Oh! It turns out I can projectile-vomit! I didn't know, thanks!
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Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #457 on: March 24, 2014, 05:39:32 pm »

Jeez, this is getting POLE-erized.

Oh! It turns out I can projectile-vomit! I didn't know, thanks!

you're pain causes me much enjoyment.
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #458 on: March 24, 2014, 05:41:30 pm »

Jeez, this is getting POLE-erized.

Oh! It turns out I can projectile-vomit! I didn't know, thanks!

you're pain causes me much enjoyment.
And blood, nothing less! I'm a fountain of undiscovered talent! And blood!
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Dutchling

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #459 on: March 24, 2014, 05:43:28 pm »

Need more jokes:

Quote
What's the fanciest hotel ever?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote
Where do Jews come from?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote
What do you call a Jew with a propane cylinder?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote
What are the differences between E.T. and a Moroccan?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #460 on: March 24, 2014, 05:47:13 pm »

So Obama, Putin, and Merkel are standing on the shore of the Black Sea.

Obama says: "You do not want to risk a war, Putin. We have submarines than can stay underwater for two months."
Putin says: "Why should I be afraid - that's nothing! Our submarines can stay underwater for two years!"
Merkel just chuckles, then makes a phonecall. A few minutes later, a sub surfaces. It is rusty, old-fashioned, and seaweed is growing on it.
The hatch opens, and a man comes out, wearing a very neat uniform: "Sieg Heil! Where can one get diesel in this area?"

Fakeedit: Dutchling, you're a horrible person. Mostly for that Moroccan joke.

I laughed anyway :P
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #461 on: March 24, 2014, 05:49:20 pm »

I thought the Moroccan joke was high quality. Also the submarine joke, which is really just a joke about German engineering more than anything else.
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Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #462 on: March 24, 2014, 05:56:43 pm »

So Obama, Putin, and Merkel are standing on the shore of the Black Sea.

Obama says: "You do not want to risk a war, Putin. We have submarines than can stay underwater for two months."
Putin says: "Why should I be afraid - that's nothing! Our submarines can stay underwater for two years!"
Merkel just chuckles, then makes a phonecall. A few minutes later, a sub surfaces. It is rusty, old-fashioned, and seaweed is growing on it.
The hatch opens, and a man comes out, wearing a very neat uniform: "Sieg Heil! Where can one get diesel in this area?"

Fakeedit: Dutchling, you're a horrible person. Mostly for that Moroccan joke.

I laughed anyway :P

I see...

... what you did there.
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scrdest

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #463 on: March 24, 2014, 05:59:43 pm »

So Obama, Putin, and Merkel are standing on the shore of the Black Sea.

Obama says: "You do not want to risk a war, Putin. We have submarines than can stay underwater for two months."
Putin says: "Why should I be afraid - that's nothing! Our submarines can stay underwater for two years!"
Merkel just chuckles, then makes a phonecall. A few minutes later, a sub surfaces. It is rusty, old-fashioned, and seaweed is growing on it.
The hatch opens, and a man comes out, wearing a very neat uniform: "Sieg Heil! Where can one get diesel in this area?"

Fakeedit: Dutchling, you're a horrible person. Mostly for that Moroccan joke.

I laughed anyway :P

I see...

... what you did there.

I lol'd at both this and the Moroccan joke. Brutal, but amusing.
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Mr. Strange

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #464 on: March 24, 2014, 06:04:21 pm »

What's the difference between black jew and a white jew?

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