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Author Topic: Terrible Jokes  (Read 715301 times)

Akura

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2595 on: September 16, 2015, 05:53:26 pm »
Quote from: Helgoland on September 16, 2015, 05:13:03 pm
Quote from: Bohandas on September 16, 2015, 04:34:18 pm
From http://www.sickipedia.org/

Quote
The day after Christmas, I had a guy knock on my door, trying to preach to me about Jesus, saying how I should repent for my sins.

My 10-year-old son was still excited and ran to the door shouting "Santa Claus came to my house!"

The man looked at me and said "Isn't he a bit old to believe that there's an invisible man in the sky, watching everything you do, judging whether you're good or bad?"

I looked at him and asked "Sorry, which church were you from again?"
0/10, Santa is not invisible.

No, but it is on his spell list. Oddly, never seems to be able to cast it when children catch him in the act.
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They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
Quote from: Vector on March 17, 2011, 11:50:36 pm
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

Orange Wizard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2596 on: September 16, 2015, 06:13:26 pm »
To be fair, catching Santa and then seeing him cast magic spells is kinda more notable than just catching Santa.
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Quote from: Loud Whispers on June 04, 2016, 07:55:42 pm
Please don't shitpost, it lowers the quality of discourse
Quote from: Cinder on July 21, 2016, 09:25:53 pm
Hard science is like a sword, and soft science is like fear. You can use both to equally powerful results, but even if your opponent disbelieve your stabs, they will still die.

spümpkin

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2597 on: September 17, 2015, 03:02:36 am »
Quote from: Helgoland on September 16, 2015, 06:05:26 am
Huh, I'd've thought it would have something to do with her acute lack of vagina. That makes me wonder: Since Barbie has no rectum, does she shit out of her mouth?
Can I sig this? Just the end part. About shitting out her mouth.
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When in doubt, use puns.
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in our own special way we are all shitpost
each day, when the sun shines and greets us with a smile, at least one of us finds that inner strength to spout bullshit on a forum revolving around the systemized slaughter of midgets
dont call me a shitposter, call me a spirit one with the shitpost atman
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that's pretty gay

Helgoland

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2598 on: September 17, 2015, 06:32:06 am »
Sure, go ahead!
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The Bay12 postcard club
Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 28, 2014, 03:28:43 am
Arguably he's already a progressive, just one in the style of an enlightened Kaiser.
Quote from: Wolfhunter107 on May 26, 2017, 08:10:14 pm
I'm going to do the smart thing here and disengage. This isn't a hill I paticularly care to die on.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2599 on: September 17, 2015, 08:01:40 am »
Quote from: Orange Wizard on September 16, 2015, 06:13:26 pm
To be fair, catching Santa and then seeing him cast magic spells is kinda more notable than just catching Santa.
Yeah, you can't palm it off as 'just your father' if they suddenly cast invisibility.
I mean, unless your father is a wizard.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2600 on: September 17, 2015, 09:12:41 am »
Quote from: Tack on September 17, 2015, 08:01:40 am
I mean, unless your father is a wizard.

Yours isn't?

(something something disappeared at a young age??? no? okay, I'm outties)
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Quote from: Max™ on July 20, 2016, 06:17:12 pm
This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

Tack

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2601 on: September 17, 2015, 09:20:32 pm »
Please. He just popped out to grab a pack of Wizard Cigarettes.
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Quote from: MetalSlimeHunt on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Quote from: ToadyOne on December 31, 1969, 07:00:01 pm
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2602 on: September 17, 2015, 09:49:05 pm »
I kinda wish my father even remotely liked anime so that I can make wizard jokes.
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a1s

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2603 on: September 18, 2015, 07:37:15 am »
Why has there not been a Darth Vader joke, "these are not the presents you're looking for", etc?
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Quote from: Fluffe9911 on March 08, 2023, 02:45:47 pm
I tried to play chess but two of my opponents were playing competitive checkers as a third person walked in with Game of Thrones in hand confused cause they thought this was the book club.

Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2604 on: September 18, 2015, 10:01:28 am »
Quote from: a1s on September 18, 2015, 07:37:15 am
Why has there not been a Darth Vader joke, "these are not the presents you're looking for", etc?

*rubs head* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That's not even close to a darth vader joke. I mean, we just spent like half a page talking about dads, and you come back with this goddamn ben kenobi reference? If you were my son, i'd cut your hand off.
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Quote from: Max™ on July 20, 2016, 06:17:12 pm
This conversation is getting disturbing fast, disturbingly erotic.

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2605 on: September 19, 2015, 02:37:05 pm »
Quote from: Urist McScoopbeard on September 18, 2015, 10:01:28 am
Quote from: a1s on September 18, 2015, 07:37:15 am
Why has there not been a Darth Vader joke, "these are not the presents you're looking for", etc?

*rubs head* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That's not even close to a darth vader joke. I mean, we just spent like half a page talking about dads, and you come back with this goddamn ben kenobi reference? If you were my son, i'd cut your hand off.
Ben... drowned?
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

hops

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2606 on: September 19, 2015, 04:32:39 pm »
How could Vader know what Luke is getting for Christmas?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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H4zardZ1

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2607 on: September 20, 2015, 02:59:17 am »
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Quote from: Rock
Quote from: Comrade Qwasich
Stop bullying children
I can't
I have to bully children
Sigtext and other things

Bumber

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2608 on: September 21, 2015, 04:08:23 am »
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Quote from: Ispil on August 30, 2018, 01:17:08 pm
Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

Baffler

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Re: Terrible Jokes
« Reply #2609 on: September 24, 2015, 11:15:24 pm »
How does every Soviet joke start?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
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