Become a pony, preferably Twilight Sparkle
You aleady are the pony. In fact, you are all things, including the buddha. Realizing that is part of enlightenment.
the best way to man up is to pick a fight. Find bull start kicking.
Why would you kick yourself?
You cannot atart a fight. Only a madman fights himself.
EAT A CAKE
CAKE OF RAGE.
You sit down to eat a nice cake.
It is delicious.
Grow majestic wings.
You grow some majestic wings, as you are all life, including a baby eagle.
It will take some years for them to reach their full size. But then, you will be able to fly.
Like you are right now, as the mother eagle bringing home food for her eaglet.
Become a pony, preferably Twilight Sparkle
And kill yourself afterwards.
Suicide is not the answer. The answer is the question. And the question is, "I am everything".
If that does not make sense to you, you are not a buddha.
EAT A CAKE
CAKE OF RAGE.
WITH PICKLES.
You don't care for pickles.
No fair trying to trick you you. You can't trick you, you, 'cause you is you and you are you for your sake.
SCREW IT.
SACRIFICE AN ANTI-VIRGIN TO SUMMON SOE ANGELS.
Somewhere, somewhen, a group of cultists sacrifice Hugh Heffner to summon their elder god SOE.
But that's nopt here it's there and you're here being you and also there.
Spread the power of zen. Evolve into Chakravaten.
You are already Barack Obama. You cannot evolve from Barack Obama into Barack Obama. That would be silly.
Become a pony, preferably Twilight Sparkle
Summon Lyra.
Become happy.
Watch the pony run around screaming about humans.
USE THE RAGE OF THE PEOPLE READING THE ABOVE PONI PONI TO BECOME ANGRY AGAIN.
You do not want to be angry. Last time you were angry you flooded the world with lava and murdered greeks with the Parthenon.
As the new Buddha, rub your tummy for good luck
You rub your stomache and aquire recursive luck as you draw luck from yourself. You have infinite luck now.
No wait now you have no luck at all. drat! It's evaporated. Who knew luck was a liquid?
Fart Butterflies, poop rainbows, burp sparkles, and vomit kittens and puppies.
No no no.
You poop butterflies, fart rainbows, burp sparkles, and vomit Ariel Winter.
Honestly.
Reality is begining to resettle. It's fifteen cuils now. You give yourself a hamburger.
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Topic: YOU'RE REALLY quite a nice person, really. (Read 16392 times)