Before long, the four of you are all sitting together in an awesome hotel room.
Stan lays out a couple bathroom towels on the table to keep from scratching it, then pours out about two dozen assorted locks from a duffel bag that still has more in it that don't fit on the table.
Keylocks, padlocks, combination locks, round locks, rectangular locks, bike locks...everything you can think of and a couple shapes and sizes you've never seen before. He shrugs as if it's no big deal, and proceeds to explain in great how to pick a standard pin and tumbler style lock with a tension wrench and pick.
http://www.wikihow.com/Pick-a-LockThe concept seems simple enough, but it takes nearly ten minutes before you manage your first success. Gilbert did his in 5. And Clara is to busy on her laptop to participate. After an hour you've worked your way through about a third of the locks in the pile, and you're starting to get bored.
Stan: "Most of these locks are pretty cheap. They work the same as a more expensive lock, but these are less preceisely made so they're easier to open. Expect to spend a lot of time practicing before you can walk up to any lock and pick it.
Gilbert: "Heh, this is really cool. I'm totally going to get into the project locker at school and attach a halloween noisemaker to the inside door to make scary ghost sounds when someone opens it."
Stab: "Also, keep in mind that electronic locks are becoming more common. Five or ten years ago you could use an electric vibrator to start a car, but now all the keys have chips on them so bypassing the lock isn't enough enough. Notice that even the room key to our hotel here isn't actually a key and there's no lock. It's a card with a magnetic strip in it. What I'm teaching you here is useful, but there are lots of things this won't open."
You: "...wait. You said a vibrator? To pick locks?"
Stab: "Not that kind of vibrator."
Stan pulls out what looks like an electric toothbrush with a metal prong on one end and a battery on the other from his bag. Upon closer inspection you realize that it actually is an electric toothbrush with a metal prong and battery attached.
He picks up a padlock from the pile and asks you to pick it. You do...after about 3 minutes of careful effort. He then relocks it, holds the toothbrush up, turns it on...and unlocks it instantly.
You: "Wow. That was fast. Why didn't you show us that an hour ago?"
Stan: "Because then you wouldn't have spent this past hour learning how to do it yourself. Electrics are nice and fast, but they only work on some locks. They're not reliable. Really, to be good at picking locks you'll need to learn a lot more techniques than just what I've shown you. For example, getting out of handcuffs is totally different. But pin and tumbler is one the more tedious things to learn, so it's best to learn it first.
You: "How would you get out of handcuffs?"
He pulls a thin cylindrical piece of metal from his back pocket.
Stan: "With this."
You: "...how do you...?"
Stan: "Hey Clara. Want to cuff me for old time's sake?"
Clara giggles at that and comes over. Stan pulls a pair of handcuffs from his bag and she cuffs him. He shows you the handcuffs and you confirm that they're on tightly. Then, in a motion too fast for you to see what he's doing, suddenly the cuff on one hand comes free, and a second later the cuff from the other hand.
Stan: "Handcuffs are basically like metal zip ties, but with bigger hooks. This is just a piece of piano wire. All you have to do is slide the wire between the hooks and the metal they catch on, and the cuffs slide right off."
He shows you more slowly and closely, and sure enough...there's a fairly wide slot in the cuffs where the wire can slide in. One push, and the cuffs come free. You try it with the handcuffs in your hand. It's easy. But what about while wearing them?
Stan: "You'll notice that I had the wire in my back pocket. There's a reason for that. If you're ever handcuffed, it will probably be with your hands behind your back. So it's best to practice that way."
You put the wire in the back pocket of your jeans and Clara turns you around and cuffs you. You slide your wrists up your back a bit reach the wire, pull it out and start trying to work it into the slot. It takes about 20 seconds.
You: "That was surprisingly easy."
Stan: Sure. If you're prepared, have the wire ready and know what to do with it.
(skill gain: Novice Lockpicker)The four of you chat in the room for another half hour or so, then have dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in the hotel. Gilbert balks at the prices, but you offer to pay for everyone. ($-150) It's also the first time you've had duck. It's a bit fatty, but tasty overall.
After another hour of chatting you turn in your room keys and head home, feeling like your day has been well spent. Returning home, you check your email to find a message from Instructor Kyle Hayes thanking you for your interest in his school, as well as as invitation and directions to join his Saturday class in a park in Mission Viejo.
Saturday, Feb 2, 2013The Saturday ninja training session turns out to be excatly what it says on the tin. The uniforms aren't quite what you expected. No ninja masks, and a few of the students are wearing what look
kind of like ankle length dresses at first glance, but basically it's two full hours of six men in ninja uniforms openly practicing in a park while children and passersby watch.
The instructor greets you and talks to you for several minutes before classes start, but for the most park you're left alone as you watch the two hour class. You're left with a lot of impressions, Some favorable, some not. But overall you just don't understand the majority of what's going on. You've never had much interest in martial arts before so you don't have much to compare it to, but it certainly doesn't look like any kind of fighting you've seen in movies. That's probably a good thing, you figure. But time and time again you see the students being taught or practicing some maneuver that you believe couldn't possibly actually work. It begins to annoy you, and by the end of class you've almost left half a dozen times out of frustration.
The class ends with a brief bowing and meditation session, and a couple students greet you and introduce themselves. They seem like a friendly bunch, but the frustration in you just won't die. After a few minutes the instructor comes over.
Instructor: "So, what did you think?"
You: "I'm sorry...I...realize I don't have much to compare to...and maybe I don't know what I'm talking about here...but a lot of what I saw...I just don't get. I don't see how some of this stuff could possibly every work."
Instructor: "How do you mean?"
You: "A lot of the time it just looks like you guys are taking turns letting each other do stuff to each other."
The instructor nods amicably.
Instructor: "Well, a lot of the time that's exactly what's going on."
You: "But how is that useful? What good does it do to to practice something that only works if somebody lets you do it?"
Instructor: "Mostly it's to prevent injury. We don't always practice that way. Some excercises are done with resistance, some without, sometimes we surprise each other. It depends on the technique. But some of the things we practice could result in serious injury for your partner if he were resisting you. Here...let me show you an example."
He faces his chest squarely to you and moves his right foot back about foot. He motions for you to mimic the posture. You do.
Instructor: "So here's a very basic technique. This is a relaxed stance, or 'kamae' that we're in. I want you to push on my chest and try to push me over."
You reach over and push on his chest. He doesn't budge. You step in a little closer and push with push hands but you still can't move him. Strangely, he doesn't seem to be resisting with his upper body at all, and the look on his face is completely relaxed.
Instructor: "This is all about lowering your center of gravity and extending the strength in your legs down into the ground. Directly facing each other like this, the shape of my body is easily able to resist you. As long as we're facing each other this way, pushing will be very difficult. You try."
He adjusts the position of your rear leg and then returns to face you and pushes on your chest. Like he says, it's easy to resist.
Instructor: "But, this shape is only strong in one direction. If I simply move a step to the right..."
He steps to the right and pushes on your chest from a different angle. He moves your entire body easily. He steps back to where he was and asks you to try. Sure enough, pushing his chest face-on, he doesn't move. A simple step to your right and push...and you move his whole body.
Instructor: "So let's try that again. This time, when I move to the right, you move to the right too so that we're still facing each other. So long as you keep your chest facing mine and keep your legs strong, I won't be able to push you off balance."
You face him again, and wait for him to move. He pushes on your chest face-on, and you resist. He takes a step to the right, and you move at the same time...only to feel him grab a handful of your shirt and yank you forward into a clockwise spiral. The ground blurs around you and you feel a rush of panic as your face is about to smash into the ground when suddenly you feel a hand slide up between your left inner arm and torso, and the next thing you know you've been placed gently on your back with him crouched on top of your left arm with a knee on your chest and your throat between his forefinger and thumb.
Instructor: "How much control did you have of your fall?"
You: "...uhh...none at all. It was just a blur."
He helps you up.
Instructor: "Right. And that's why we sometimes practice cooperatively. When we were upright, you were able to resist my push. But when I took you to the ground, I was the one who controlled your fall. If you'd been fighting me the whole way down-"
You: "I'd have smashed into the ground face first."
He shrugs.
Instructor: "Maybe. Or maybe not. We practice falling techniques too. There may be times where you'll deliberately have a practice partner throw you at the ground and it's up to you to avoid injury. But there are times when we make it difficult for each other and times when we make it easy. Cooperating with a partner is a useful training tool. In fact, there are even times when cooperating when an opponent is done deliberately as the point of the technique."
You: "How do you mean?"
Instructor: "Well, imagine if I punch you. Will it hurt less if you walk into the punch or if you back away from it?"
You: "...uhh...less if I walk away."
Instructor: "Right. But by backing away you're voluntarily moving your body cooperatively with the direction of the attack. Doing so can allow you to avoid injury. For example..."
He calls one of his advanced students over and asks him to give him a straight punch. The student assumes a stance, and throws a punch with his right hand while keeping his left forearm up to guard his face. The instructor grabs the punching ram,
yanks it, and drops to the ground...pulling his student down on top of him...then kicks up with one foot into his stomach as he rolls, hurling him up and over and fully 8 feet behind him. The student lands in a roll, spins around and returns to his stance.
You: "Wow."
You chat for a while longer, and the instructor answers a few more questions for you. Classes are in the park on Saturdays, and the "secret location" classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights are in the garage of his house. (This, unfortunately conflicts with your school schedule, and he is very clear that attending only one class per week would be inadequate.) All students are expected to learn both armed and unarmed fighting, both modern and historical. Traditional weapons are mandatory, and there are optional monthly firearms classes. Ninja "hoods" aren't part of the uniform, but
tabi boots are. Training will include a number of non-combat techniques such as falling techniques, climbing, rope tying, escape artistry, meditation, and a variety of other topics. Cost is $100/month, plus $300 the first month for uniform and registration. Rank tests are every 3 to 6 months and cost an extra $100. It typically takes 5-7 years to become a black belt.
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Topic: You are a Suburban Supervillain (Read 61839 times)