We should try to find some get-together, maybe just with Sam.
He could end up being really useful.
Agreed. Stan is both a probable criminal, or at least some kind of good contact for a villain, and makes lasers for fun. He is a great asset.
We really need to get to know the two of them better. Bringing 'Bert, though. We don't want to be a third wheel or anything.
On another note,we should check the area for any cheap homes for sell.
You do some searches for cheap investment properties, but nothing really catches your eye. It might be like your property manager, Michael, said...deals cheap enough to buy for cash with only a couple tens of thousands of dollars migth be relatively infrequent. Or it could just be that you're having a difficult time focusing.
You keep thinking about Stan.
You're not entirely sure why, either. Yes, it was implied that his lasers were a sort of semi-secret, but it obviously can't be too much of a secret since Gilbert made a point of calling attention to it, and nobody reprimanded him or anything. Yes, he apparently "has ties" to Clara who is obviously comfortable engaging in criminal activities...but you don't feel as much need to know about her even though she's definitely hiding from the feds. Maybe it's just that you dislike not knowing his secret? Or maybe it's just that lasers are awesome. You're not entirely sure, but you decide that you're going to find out what the deal is with Stan's lasers.
But how?
Hmm. Well, you might try just asking Gilvert said as much. But despite having spent time with him socially twice, you don't quite feel comfortable just calling him up and asking. In fact, now that you think about it you don't even have his phone number yet anyway. You could post to his facebook account, you do have that. But maybe a more subtle approach would be helpful?
What would give you a reasonable excuse to get the four of you together again? You're pretty sure the Tustin swapmeet lasts all weekend. You could propose that you all go gain tomorrow. But that seems tacky. What about...oh...yes. You have just the thing.
You call
Bloomingdales and ask for the women's hygiene department. ($-1600)
Around 11:30 the following morning, a box arrives for you shipped via first class next day air ($-80). You give Gilbert a call.
You: "Hey Gilbert, let's get the gang together. I've got some toys for us to play with. Stan and Clara have to see this."
Gilbert: "Sure. What it is?"
You: "It's a surprise."
Gilbert: "...uhh, ok. It's barely noon though. Stan's probably up, but I think Clara hit a rave last night so there's no way I'm calling her this early. How about I give them a call and set up something for early evening? How about the bowling alley off Marguerite? Food is cheap, and they have a DDR machine for Clara.
You: "Yeah, that works."
Bowling is about your least favorite thing is the world, but it's just a place to meet. You're not planning to bowl. You spend the next few hours giddy with excitement, but eventually Gilbert calls you back to let you know the meeting is on. You borrow your mothers car and head to the bowling alley. Stan and Gilbert are already there munching on cheese fries when you arrive, and Clara sneaks up on you and gives you a stealth hug from behind right as you're about to say hello. You smile, and pull out four small boxes from your backpack and proceed to open one on the table.
For a few moments nobody says anything.
Stan: "TRIA? Never heard of it. What is that?"
Clara: "Dude. It's a vibrator. That's awesome. Gimmee!"
Clara pulls the device from the box and holds it up against Gilbert's face and makes buzzing noises.
Gilbert: "Gah! Quit that. I don't think it's a vibrator anyway. My guess is replica Sonic Screwdriver."
Stan: "Yeah...maybe it's a Sonic Screw...driver."
Clara: "Ok, it's a Sonic vibrator. GIMMEE!"
Clara starts opening another one of the boxes.
Stan: "Whoa girl, easy there. One should be enough."
Stan reaches out a hand and Clara glares at him and bites the air near his hand. He pulls it back and just laughs.
Stan: "Ok, Clara...I think there's a little too much personal information being conveyed here. Just relax. Nobody's going to take your toy from you."
Clara: "Damn right you're not. And I'm going to take yours and have two...OMG! Two vibrators at once is going to be so totally...wait. What the fuck is this?"
(By now Gilbert has opened the manual and is reading through it)
Gilbert: "Proper care and maintenance of your TRIA laser hair removal laser?"
Stan: "...what?"
Clara: "Fuck it. That's still awesome and I'm still taking two."
You: "If it's that important to you, you can have mine. I actually got these because of Stan, but I figured you two both like gadgets anyway, so I got one for each of us."
Stan: "You bought me a hair removal laser? Umm...why, exactly?"
You: "Well, I know you're into lasers, and Gilbert used to build them too, and I just figured...why not? It's a laser. You guys are the techno-wizards, I figured you'd come up with something you could use them for."
Clara: "Yeah I can think of some things. Oh, dear...look at the time. Gotta go!"
With a laser in each hand, Clara makes a mad dash for the exit.
Stan: "Yeah, sometimes I don't know about that girl."
Gilbert: "You're the one who dated her."
Stan: "...yeah...we don't talk about that. So anyway, Bob...seriously, you got these for me? Gilbert's the gadget freak here, not me."
Gilbert: "This is a bit different than what I'm used to, but I wouldn't mind playing with a few of these."
Stan: *shrug* "You can have mine. I'm not going to do anything with it. Unless you want to return them? They look expensive."
Bob: "No, that's ok. Go ahead. But Stan...what's the deal with you and those lasers if you're not into lasers? You carry two with you everywhere you go, right?"
Stan looks at you blankly for a moment, then shrugs and pulls out one of his Arctic Spyders, and lights it up on the table.
Stan: "I aim them at cameras."
Bob: "Cameras? Why?"
Stan: "The light is bright enough that all the camera sees is a blur of blue. Nothing useful gets recorded."
By now Stan has moved one of the empty boxes near to him and is burning a hole in it with his laser.
Stan: "Set it up on a stand and you can walk through the field of view no problem. Any security on duty just sees that a camera is broken. Sometimes they make a maintenance call that takes hours for anyone to respond to, or make a note in their log for somebody else to make the call the following day. Other times they'll go check, but if you take care of the alarms and everything too, they generally assume it's just an equipment malfunction and take their time. But then, sometimes you want the guard to leave his desk, so that can work out too.
Gilbert continues munching on cheese fries. Stan leans a little closer to the table and you see that he's not just burning a hole in the box, but carving out his initials in it.
Stan: "Most security is pretty bad. It's not like you see in movies. If you're patient and move slowly enough you can walk right through a motion detector. Or if you're in a hurry, you can hold a sheet in front of you."
Gilbert: "
Mythbusters actually did an episode on that."
Stan: "Yeah, I saw that episode. They did some things right, but they kind of missed the point on some other things. All the stuff they came up with to get through the ventilation shafts was just silly. There's no need to build anything or use gadgets. You can climb through a ventilation shaft pretty easily and tennis shoes are a lot quieter than the crazy stuff they came up with."
Gilbert: "Like you said, I'm the gadgets guy, not you."
Stan turns off his laser.
Stan: "Yeah. Anyway, it's not like I'm a thief. I mostly just do it for the lulz, and to get back at corporations. My dad wasted most of his life working for Pacific Bell, and I always kind of resented how they treated him and wanted a way to get back. That was actually how I met Clara. We were both diving in the same dumpster one night looking for freebies."
Bob: "In a dumpster?"
Stan: "Yeah, all kinds of things you can find. Not as much now. Used to be dumpsters were a goldmine of employee manuals, security policies, emergency phone numbers...all sorts of useful stuff."
Bob: "Isn't all the sensitive data kept on computers?"
Stan: "Not as much as you'd think. Corporate America is still living in the dark ages in a lot of ways. Some people just prefer paper. And even if they do, they still sometimes throw out old broken computers, phones, printers, fax machines...all the stuff they're supposed to recycle, but don't. Most fax machines keep logs of every number they dial, and some keep logs of everything they send. Phones can have autodial lists. Computers...even a broken hard drive can be salvaged for data."
Bob: "What do you do with it?"
Stan: "The informational stuff I mine for anything to use to help with
social engineering. As for the hardware itself...not much, honestly. It's more about the getting it than what to do with it. It's kind of like digging for treasure. It's fun, even if the treasure turns out to be antiques rather than gold."
Bob: "That's kind of cool."
Stan: "Heh...thanks. You're alright, Bob. We should hang out more often. Clara thinks so too. She doesn't sneak up and hug just anybody."
You laugh.
Bob: "...is
that the rite of passage around here?"
Stan: "Nah, nothing like that. When Gilbert told me about you I kind of figured we'd all four end up hanging out together."
At that moment, Stan's cellphone rings.
Stan: "Hey Clara, what's up?"
He jerks his head away from the cellphone and winces in pain.
Stan: "...yeah, ok. I got it. Right. Yeah. Ok...just...not so loud...seriously. (pause) Uh-huh. Ok. Sure. Yeah I'll tell him. Yeah. Ok. See you later."
With his cellphone out anyway, you both exchange numbers. He also gives you Clara's number and asks you to send her a text message with yours.
Bob: "So that's what she wanted to say? To give me her number? Why the yelling?"
Stan: "...uhh...well, she just said they she tried out her new toys, and they didn't work out so well for what she had mind. And that it hurt a lot."
January 14, 2013Current statusWhat do you do?