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[Yoink]

Just woke up from a dream so hilariously strange that, instead of going back to sleep as quickly as possible (it's 3AM and I need to be up at around 6 or so), I'm going to sit here and type out what I remember first.

The first part I remember is, perhaps unsurprisingly, being back in the sharehouse that I just moved out of.
Lots of videogames were being played and what-not, all fairly standard really as far as I can remember. What was unusual was that, when I entered the loungeroom where videogames are played, the newest housemate (whom I despise for various reasons that I shan't bother listing here) was sitting on a couch along with my other housemates.

Normally he avoided us all entirely for the most part and kept to himself, but it turned out that he'd just unburdened himself of a secret.
He came out to my housemates and I as 'trans-American Indian*', which was supposedly why he'd been so shy and quiet previously. He also mentioned that he used chunks of cooked meat as a way of fighting body odour**, which... probably was why he always smelled so fucking awful.

The guy said a few other bizarre things that I don't remember despite at least some of them involving videogames.
Next part I remember, I was playing an online FPS which in my dream was supposedly Battlefield, despite seeming rather more fast-paced, like CoD or something. Also I didn't suck at it, so it could hardly be Battlefield. Everything was rather strange, but I was completely slaughtering the enemy team in some kind of domination match.

I charged into one objective that they were shown as capturing, didn't see any foes at first, then managed to guess their hiding spot correctly and kill the one or two attacker(s). Then I ran about the objective defending for a while, pretty much just bursting out of cover and destroying any enemies who showed up, often in groups- I was on my own.

After a while of this absolute slaughter, however, I was lying prone atop some kind of old train carriage (maybe?) when I saw a new enemy ran in and start capturing. As far as I can remember, the earlier enemies looked more-or-less like your typical, bland soldier chaps from various editions of Battlefield (possibly Hardline), with black riot helmet-looking things, balaclavas, blue jumpsuits under body armour, scowls and various unused tactical gear, but this newcomer appeared to be... a dog?

Yes, upon closer inspection (I crawled to the edge of the object I was on and peered over, to look right down at the central point of the objective) it was indeed a rather adorable dog, happily waggling its tail and panting whilst capturing the point, not appearing to be armed or at all worried by my presence.

Very cute! ...Then I noticed one oddity about the dogs appearance (apart from the fact that it was in the game in the first place): it had a human face, a rather disturbing-looking human face staring out from its head in a way that was creepy as fuck. It looked like it had been shopped onto there, nicely blended but with a somewhat different colour from the rest of the head.

Naturally, I decided not to shoot it, and even decided on the spot to try and join whatever team/clan it was involved with, seeing as it was simultaneously cute, unusual and hilarious. Fortunately for dream-me's KD ratio no enemies seemed to come along whilst I was preoccupied.

In this weird dream-game, it was easily possible to see a sort-of profile of various players, not quite the same as the one you see on PSN, more like some sort of custom profile (Sorry if that didn't make much sense, I need to finish here and sleep). Almost like a Youtube page.

Anyway, this dog's display picture showed an original version of the face (I believe it may have been a black-and-white drawing, rather than a photo) amid a mind-bending mess of psychedelic colours. The user page was similarly adorned with trippy colours from what I remember, and it had a slogan, something along the lines of "LSD, Sean's face and [Not sure? Possibly Domination, the game mode, but that doesn't seem right- maybe it was Dog?]", and according to the description the basic idea was that some guy/guys would play games whilst tripping balls, to the apparent amusement of everyone involved, and possibly show the whole mess on Youtube although I don't remember for sure.

No idea how they managed to get their friend Sean's face onto an entirely-inappropriate dog model and into an online FPS, but hey.
That seems like the sort of thing that ought to be possible.

After that, the dream veered off on a tangent about some sort of comic strip/animation, that I think may have been hosted on the same Youtube channels as the LSDog escapades, or shared there at least. The only thing I remember was that it (in some strips/episodes at least) centred on this plainly-drawn old man who made often bizarre, to-the-numbers rants against various topics.
The rants/pages/episodes followed a similar formula each time, I think, and I saw this page showing several different strips above one-another, all looking amusingly near-identical apart from the dialogue- which followed the same formula, but in/on wildly different situations/topics. Not sure if that was someone criticising the webcomic/animation or if it was content from the creators, since it really just made the whole thing funnier.

Somewhere around then I woke up, needing to pee.
There was more to the dream earlier on. All I really remember was playing videogames, including Uncharted 4.
One of my housemates had hijacked the TV and console shortly before where this post begins, not sure where I'd wandered off to.

*It was never made entirely clear whether this mean he had transitioned from Australian into a Native American, from Indian to American, vice versa, or from a naturalised US Indian into an Australian. Whatever the case it was quite bizarre and I don't think any of us bothered questioning further.

**He actually revealed this part after admitting that he knew how smelly he got sometimes, and offering the explanation of it happening when he came back from visiting family. Apparently he thought the smell of rank meat was a pleasant replacement for his normal, post-journey BO. ...Then again, with how bad that guy smelled IRL, it probably would be.

[TempAcc]

Dreamt I was a police investigator. For some reason, I had just arrested one of my childhood friends, which I haven't seen for years now.

I faintly remember telling him not to worry because his cell was comfy :v

[hops]

I was a nudist Morgan Freeman, investigating a haunting in a hotel.

Normally my dream isn't this cancer.

[Tawa]

I had a strange dream about names. There was a place where magic had dissociated everyone from their names, and when they adopted new ones their personalities changed as a result. The protagonist in this dream (who decidedly was not dream-me, because the whole thing was in 3rd person and the guy looked nothing like me) had to try and do something to give everyone their original names back.

Raised some kind of interesting ideas about the relationship between a person and their name, but unfortunately this was bogged down by the fact that my brain decided this was also a Zelda game and randomly jumped between weird psuedo-metaphysical stuff and collecting fairies.

[AzyWng]

I had a dream involving taking many many trains and airplanes. I don't know where I was going, let alone why. I was with some people I knew, but I can't remember any of them now.

The dream ended on one of the planes. The plane started to take off, one of the people I was with commented on some physical theory/effect taking place, and then all at once, everything went dark, two large, glowing yellow eyes appeared in front of me, and I heard the beginning of a scream before waking up.

[Haspen]

I had a dream about being in some sort of school (university?) and stumbling upon the game of Lords...

Said game was about 6 guys posing as Lords of Houses (I remember the House of York and House of Mockingham being mentioned), and the 7th guy was to be Lord of some minor houses, but he was the kingmaker/judge aka every dispute went through him. People could toss 'money' tokens at him as bribery. He would have 'influence' tokens that he could settle disputes with. I vaguely believe the goal to be one of the Lords of Houses to gain twice the starting Influence tokens.

I was chosen to be the 'kingmaker', and I fubbled through first two disputes, and everyone was angry at me (I don't remember what these were about, sadly).

The third dispute was between House of York and House of Mockingham, in which 'Lord of York ate the baby of Lord of Mockingham, should he be expelled from Trinity College of Arts for this?', and one of the options was 'Let them duel to the death' and I've chosen that option, so Lord of York went and stabbed Lord of Mockingham with a pen... turns out Lord of York was actually Lady of York and her face was Tiruin's pixe-elf-face avatar?

The teacher/referee shouted 'You can't do this!' and Tiruin!avatar shouted 'BUT I MUST' and then somehow wrapped herself in a cape which she didn't have before and flew through the window.

All other Lords complained that I 'fucked up the game' and the referee told me to leave, and then I woke up.

[TempAcc]

Dreamt about being in the... porn industry? I was apparently charged with artificially tanning one of the girls with those tanning spray things?
I then had multiple conversations with a few pornstars about the nature of existence, and eventualy we reached some sort of agreement and everyone seemed happy and ready to continue filming?

Then I violently beat one of them.

Brain pls.

[Eric Blank]

While back I dreamt I was climbing a mountain, following a road that spiralled around it. There were landmines on the hillsides all around, I knew, and work crews were actively trying to clear them. Nearer the bottom of the road the landmines were designated by rubber car tires set around them.

[Spehss _]

Had a dream that a nuke exploded nearby. Was close enough to it that I could look out at my backyard and see the (pulsating) mushroom cloud in the (vague) distance.

Then went into some kind of inception phase where I had a dream within the dream. Dreamed I was watching some horror film about a pair of killer undead pandas terrorizing China. I was moving to a nearby nation near China and feared that the undead pandas would cross the border to get me. That dream ended, and then my brain returned me to the scene of being incinerated by the aforementioned nuclear explosion.

And then I woke up. I think there was some kind of drama about a fascist/communist/radical government taking power, as well, but it's blurry to recall because of the undead pandas and nukes. Weird dreams.

[chaotic skies]

My dream this morning was about being some ninja-shit in what appeared to be an underground shopping mall fighting some kind of giant. The only reason I know I was a ninja-shit is because I was jumping all over the place and standing in bushes and all sorts of dumb, stereotypical ninja things. Even had a katana, which was a lot of fun. The odd part was that I was fighting this thing with my friends, who were also ninjas, and all of them either died or disappeared, with me as the sole survivor. I then went on to hunt down this giant-thing for a while, not sure how long, before finally finding out that it was all a test to get me into some weird Illuminati-esque cult that my friends were a part of, and that the giant was actually some kind of weird robot.

The only explanation I can come up with is I've been playing Warframe a lot recently, which could be where the ninja thing comes from, and I love attack on titan. Otherwise I have no clue on where to start.

[FallacyofUrist]

Not remembering my dreams is getting rather annoying.
In my last dream, I was... a vehicle? A mech? Bah.
And aborists had magic powers. Maybe.

[nomoetoe]

I had a dream involving getting attacked by a bear, being launched several hundred feet by something, going to some school and becoming some kind of super being.

The part with me as a super being mostly involved me hovering in front of some people talking about how powerful I was or something, I even had someone shoot me in the head with a shotgun, everything went dark for awhile and I freaked out because I was dead, I quickly revived though and went back to talking about how amazing I was or something, completely forgetting or ignoring how I just died.

The part with the bear attacking me, or trying to attack that is mostly involved me being in a car trying to keep it from getting in, if I remember right I got away from it by launching myself several hundred feet which is how I got to the part with the school or being a super being I'm not sure.

[Shook]

i dreamt that i thumb wrestled a young gorilla

...

For a first timer it was surprisingly competent, but I WAS VICTORIOUS. My first thought afterwards was "hah, now i can tell people that i've thumb wrestled a gorilla!", but sadly it turned out to be a dream. Not that i'd dare to try that with a real gorilla, since it would probably rip my face off if i got too close. :v

[Loud Whispers]

My dream started off with me walking past an old school, where everyone was leaving with their children. One of the girls walks up to me and asks if I can take her home, looking around I ask her where her parents are, but there's no one else there. Walked down this one long pathway that is flanked by prickly trees towards her neighbourhood, all the whilst attempting to ask her for her name - she carried an accent that made it almost intelligible, but I finally understood it as Rezeen (like resin, but with a long ee at the end). Kept walking along the channel, the narrow band of water, and it was considerably cleaner (yet no less greenish-blue in hue), than the current pond-weed infested state it is in in reality. Kept walking along when all of a sudden Rezeen trips my left leg, and to arrest my fall my right leg moves forward (beyond the bank), causing me to twist and pivot into the channel. It was winter in my dream, not summer, and I wore three layers of clothes in addition to rain boots - not the type of clothes you want to be wearing and swimming in. Nevertheless I knew this channel was shallow enough that you could stand up in it, so I waited to try and figure out which way was up by sinking to the bottom, instead of tiring myself out and struggling. Holding my breath, it all felt so cold, and I began to realize the channel was far deeper than it should be. I tried to swim out but I was stuck horizontally, unable to right myself up to swim upwards - where I could see the light. Without any other choice I waited until I hit the bottom, by now my lungs protesting at the last of their reserves being expelled. My right arm tried pushing off the ground but still I could not upright myself, after the fourth attempt, to my horror something grabbed my arm. I couldn't move to fight it, I was immobilized, unable to reach whatever was holding me down, unable to move under all this water. Eventually air escaped me and I sunk into the algaeous forest below, pulled by unseen grasping things.
The dream didn't end there, instead passing to the point of view of a news presenter as soon as my first perspective ended, it was a news presenter in the style of a conspiracy theorist of tinfoil and water filters, who was positing the theory that the girl Rezeen was not responsible for the drowning, but that in fact, all signs pointed to the killer as having lurked beneath the water and not above it. Dream sadly ended before seeing the conclusion to this, but it was interesting nonetheless

[TempAcc]

The horrors of the thames came for you.

Anyway, I had this really odd but very interesting dream this last night. It was one of those dreams in which you're basically only a spectator witnessing events unfold.

I was seeing things from the perspective of this one guy who works at a restaurant in some busy downtown place. He meets this really cute blonde girl and they hit off right away. Cut to some moment in the future, and now the two of them are going around killing some people in lush mansions? And these people appear to consist mostly of men-in-black types? They also pick up some companions along the way.

Despite being hunted by the police, they manage to avoid capture and even set up a secret base of sorts. As they continue going to mansions and luxury places and killing people, they start to slowly lose their companions as they're killed off. Cut to some other moment on the future, and the story is apparently reaching its climax. They invade this huge cruise liner thing in the middle of the sea and kill a bunch more people, and the rest of their companions die here.

Then finally everthing starts to work out for them and the character that I see these things through calls her to kill the last guy, who's some rich fat guy person. At this point I realized something. By looking at the girl, she seemed more and more deranged to me, with wide open eyes and a huge grin while killing people with scissors. Nobody else seems to notice this, not even the character I'm following. Once she finally kills the last guy, she lets out a laugh, and when my character goes to hug her, she stabs him dead.

Then it cuts to some other moment. My character now has a beard for some reason and is floating in space close to what appears to be a space station. He manages to drift towards the space station and get inside through an airlock (also apparently he can survive vacuum without a suit for some reason). He spends a long time being angry and sad and wondering why she murdered him, and it appears he never noticed how deranged she looked. He somehow manages to teleport back to earth and enters the old restaurant he worked in. Inside he finds only the girl and ends up fighting her. She kills him again, and he appears back floating in space near the space station.

He gets back to earth again and tries to get an explanation from her, and she explains to him that she's been locked in some groundhog day style time loop for thousands of years or so, with her always appearing back in space floating near the space station every time she dies. She describes how she lived entire lifetimes, how she had kids and a happy family and then she died of old age and it just looped back again. She starts talking about how she's been doing this for so long and how the fear of being looped back made her insane and essentialy do anything she felt like doing because it would always loop back. She lived as a prostitute because she wanted once, she murdered children because she felt like it, tried to kill the president as a challenge to stave off the apathy and boredom, and was actualy succesful a few times.

She tells him that all they've been doing was necessary to transfer this "curse" to my character, and now she was free, but she also realizes she has feelings for him and feels sorry for what she did, but says she just wants to die now.

After a few loops, the guy manages to convince her to not kill herself and they join up to try and free him from the loop as well.

I think this dream took my entire night, or at the very least its the only thing I remember dreaming tonight.

Brain pls?