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Poll

Bad Drawing Livestream

Yes
- 156 (42.6%)
No
- 17 (4.6%)
I have no opinion and prefer to select the zany "other" option on forum polls
- 193 (52.7%)

Total Members Voted: 364


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Author Topic: I badly draw your reports!  (Read 336993 times)

Burnup

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #705 on: October 19, 2012, 04:38:05 pm »

Of course it is up to you what you draw and don't dra- yaduh yaduh yaduh

#1) Let's see.. 6 military dwarves good to go population 13. Child snatcher apears, milidwarves run after him to the edge of the map. Ambush spotted back at the exposed front entrance with 4 out of 8 gobbos already inside. citizens massacred before I milidwarves could get back.. milidwarves killed gobbos, then while attempting to dispose of the bodies of their loved ones, they killed eachother. End.

#2) Another: Got my underground watering hole and farm good to go in the first year. Than come winter the river froze, and my reservoir expanded into my fort killing everything. End.

#3) Another: Evil biome first encounter with zombies. In the first year I opened the gate to see how strong they actually are. Every one died. End.


#4) In my last siege, I decided to fight head on. No traps, no balista, no towers/walls.
Just open hillside 5 cave dragons, 10 troll, 20 archer gobbo, 40 spear gobbo, with various leaders.
against my 233 dwarven army..
10 dwarves dead 7 wounded.
all trolls dead, all archers dead, all enemy leaders dead, only 5 speargoblin escaped. Cave dragons were the first to die.

Victory!

#5) My best adventurer in a world with all peramiters top-notched explored all 9 of my abondoned forts, had 2\3rds of his things as artifacts the other 1\3rd being candy.

later became champion of all civs, pushed back all dark towers/fortresses (NO EVIL LEFT..)

all of this with no more than 8 followers at any one time.
left this world due to his job here being done (went off the edge of the map)
Went to sleep on a glacier and woke up in the form of a seal being devoured by a polar bear...
then woke up as a Gorlak bothering ratmen (got blow darted to death)
Woke up as a fire imp sealed in a magma pool..

Cursed to forever search for his original form

really ? no shit..
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Just tell her that you were merely doing what the voices in your head were telling you to do.

Noobazzah

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #706 on: October 20, 2012, 04:40:28 am »

Well, there's still the chance that he's a zombie. If you die laughing to one of his drawings, you become one too.
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DungeonJerk

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #707 on: October 21, 2012, 05:11:27 am »

47 pages and still winning.
And drawing, too!

Yup, gotta love it.

47 pages and still winning.
14 for me. 50 PPP Pro.

Heh. I'm tempted to say Combo breaker, not sure why.
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Bigheaded

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #708 on: October 21, 2012, 10:33:11 am »

Just had some elves arrive.

They decided to wade across the water rather than use the bridge about 7 spaces away...

The water flows into a waterfall, and pushed the elves off into a nice drop which instantly killed one, the other is drowning with various injuries.

My favorite bit is seeing the blood flow down the river :P

Not sure how i'm going to steal all their stuff though, seeing its under a waterfall :P
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Dear Urist McStockpileDrone
I just found a barrel which contained a wheelbarrow. Inside the wheelbarrow was another barrel. I don't even understand how that is possible.

misko27

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #709 on: October 21, 2012, 04:13:14 pm »

Just had some elves arrive.

They decided to wade across the water rather than use the bridge about 7 spaces away...

The water flows into a waterfall, and pushed the elves off into a nice drop which instantly killed one, the other is drowning with various injuries.

My favorite bit is seeing the blood flow down the river :P

Not sure how i'm going to steal all their stuff though, seeing its under a waterfall :P
Well, if you don't have a device the turns it off at whim, you don't really deserves to steal their crap. Real dwarves abuse nature till they havea pointless device for everthing.
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CrzyMonkeyNinja

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #710 on: October 21, 2012, 06:30:03 pm »


I still find it weird that a giant sperm whale only occupies one tile (I think), while a wagon occupies 9....

Just how big are wagons!?


Not to mention ballistae and ballista arrows. I mean, just the arrow is three sperm-whale-lengths long!
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Drazinononda

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #711 on: October 21, 2012, 06:43:44 pm »


I still find it weird that a giant sperm whale only occupies one tile (I think), while a wagon occupies 9....

Just how big are wagons!?


Not to mention ballistae and ballista arrows. I mean, just the arrow is three sperm-whale-lengths long!

I give all my dwarves bedrooms the size of Lichtenstein. If you can figure out how many tiles that is in DF, that makes one of us.
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Children you rescue shouldn't behave like rabid beasts.  I guess your regular companions shouldn't act like rabid beasts either.
I think that's a little more impossible than I'm likely to have time for.

Slayerhero90

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #712 on: October 21, 2012, 07:14:44 pm »

More than a 4x4 map.

My bedrooms are all 5x5 for the ones I like and 2x3 for the ones I don't care for.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #713 on: October 21, 2012, 07:16:56 pm »

I think I win on Dwarf bedroom sizes.

Drazinononda

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #714 on: October 21, 2012, 09:26:13 pm »

And/or bedroom engraving.
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Children you rescue shouldn't behave like rabid beasts.  I guess your regular companions shouldn't act like rabid beasts either.
I think that's a little more impossible than I'm likely to have time for.

GoombaGeek

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #715 on: October 22, 2012, 11:19:49 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...are you a zombie? ???
(No.)

So.... A kobold vomitting all over itself?

interrupted by sponge man"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Quote this to see the longest URL of all time.
So, a Herd of Giant Emus had decided to (Roost?) in front of the entrance. As the fort had only recently been established, this was a serious annoyance, so I sent the badly trained expedition leader after them to disperse them, maybe rough'em up a bit. He instead opted to use the "slaughter the shit out of them one at a time, scare the fuckers off" method. He started chasing them one at a time, murdering the shti out of them, but I noticed something weird. He would hit them, but they'd keep running. He'd slash them with his axe again, and they'd keep running. They all kept running until moter nerves were severed. They left very long Blood trails all over the outside as they ran and he ran after them. None ever attacked, only ran and ran and ran.

#1. My broker is also a swordsdwarf who happens to be missing his left lower leg. (His full name is Sigun Honoredboulder the Permanent Friend of Wings, a reasonable title for a one-legged man.) At the time of my most recent siege, he was off reloading a cage trap in the wilderness and was promptly attacked by converging squads of goblins. His combat reports went as so:
1. The broker severs the goblin's head/hand/arm/leg with a single blow from his steel short sword
2. The broker crushes the goblin's chest/head or breaks the goblin's arm/leg with his silver crutch
3. (Optional) The broker falls down, goblin attacks/broker dodges, the broker stands up
4. Repeat.
At the end of his solo encounter, he was unharmed but coated with the blood of the 19 goblins he'd dispatched.

#3) Another: Evil biome first encounter with zombies. In the first year I opened the gate to see how strong they actually are. Every one died. End.

Just had some elves arrive.

They decided to wade across the water rather than use the bridge about 7 spaces away...

The water flows into a waterfall, and pushed the elves off into a nice drop which instantly killed one, the other is drowning with various injuries.

My favorite bit is seeing the blood flow down the river :P

Not sure how i'm going to steal all their stuff though, seeing its under a waterfall :P


I still find it weird that a giant sperm whale only occupies one tile (I think), while a wagon occupies 9....

Just how big are wagons!?


Not to mention ballistae and ballista arrows. I mean, just the arrow is three sperm-whale-lengths long!

Whoops, forgot to colour the platform he's standing on.

I still find it weird that a giant sperm whale only occupies one tile (I think), while a wagon occupies 9....

Just how big are wagons!?


Not to mention ballistae and ballista arrows. I mean, just the arrow is three sperm-whale-lengths long!

I give all my dwarves bedrooms the size of Lichtenstein. If you can figure out how many tiles that is in DF, that makes one of us.
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doublestrafe

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #716 on: October 22, 2012, 12:19:47 pm »

So, a Herd of Giant Emus had decided to (Roost?) in front of the entrance. As the fort had only recently been established, this was a serious annoyance, so I sent the badly trained expedition leader after them to disperse them, maybe rough'em up a bit. He instead opted to use the "slaughter the shit out of them one at a time, scare the fuckers off" method. He started chasing them one at a time, murdering the shti out of them, but I noticed something weird. He would hit them, but they'd keep running. He'd slash them with his axe again, and they'd keep running. They all kept running until moter nerves were severed. They left very long Blood trails all over the outside as they ran and he ran after them. None ever attacked, only ran and ran and ran.

If you're on the surface and Giant Emu starts to wail
Hit him with an axe and he'll leave a bloody trail
Giant Emu runs on the road all day
Bloody gaping wounds will not make him change his ways

Giant Emu
That axedwarf is after you!
Giant Emu
If he catches you you're through!
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Eric Blank

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #717 on: October 22, 2012, 01:13:00 pm »

So, a Herd of Giant Emus had decided to (Roost?) in front of the entrance. As the fort had only recently been established, this was a serious annoyance, so I sent the badly trained expedition leader after them to disperse them, maybe rough'em up a bit. He instead opted to use the "slaughter the shit out of them one at a time, scare the fuckers off" method. He started chasing them one at a time, murdering the shti out of them, but I noticed something weird. He would hit them, but they'd keep running. He'd slash them with his axe again, and they'd keep running. They all kept running until moter nerves were severed. They left very long Blood trails all over the outside as they ran and he ran after them. None ever attacked, only ran and ran and ran.

If you're on the surface and Giant Emu starts to wail
Hit him with an axe and he'll leave a bloody trail
Giant Emu runs on the road all day
Bloody gaping wounds will not make him change his ways

Giant Emu
That axedwarf is after you!
Giant Emu
If he catches you you're through!

Yoooouu.... Ingenius BASTARD! :P
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vadia

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #718 on: October 24, 2012, 09:02:11 am »

I killed somebody while sneaking by throwing snow at them.

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ElenaRoan

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #719 on: October 24, 2012, 10:03:03 am »

In my latest fortress the first Goblin ambush had them wander across the map towards my entrance, losing half their number to various cage traps along the way, they almost get to the entrance only to meet the dwarf caravan that was also on the way in.  A flurry of bolts from the caravan's guards had one of the goblins decide he'd had enough and after spending a good 5 minutes passing out and vomiting he picked himself up and headed for the edge of the map while his companions proceeded on to the entrance and got finished off by the traps there.  Out of curiosity I v'd him to see what his injuries were and was rather amused to note, among various others, that he'd been injured in both his groin and butt.  Checking the combat report revealed that nothing was shot off though, just muscle bruises.
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Someone, get the bug zapper! What do you mean that won't work on a bug the size of a house which glows? No, I don't want to hear it. Just get the damn zapper.
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