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[ArchAIngel]

Urist McHauler:I had better get the wounded military dwarf to the hospital, quick! No sense in having one of the heroes who slew 213 demons (that is a group total) die just because i decided to haul stone!
Urist McDoctor: I had better fix up this wounded dwarf instead of going and hauling some ballista parts! After all, a ballista can be built later, but a wounded dwarf will die soon!

[itisnotlogical]

Urist McSoldier cancels Rush in to !!combat!!: Legendary goblin bowmen just out of sight.
Urist McSoldier cancels Die on first day: Rack up amazing kill count, retire to wife and many children.

[Akura]

Urist McMiner strikes the earth in the raw adamantine with his (copper pick), and severed part sails off in an arc!

The earth has been struck down.

[itisnotlogical]

Urist McPhysicist cancels Research Pitchblende: Does not want to kick off nuclear war.

[pisskop]

Urist McPhysicist cancels Research Pitchblende: Does not want to kick off nuclear war.

But.... But dwarves live underground... Think of all the elfs!  And even a few humes would survive.  And Gobs and Kobolds.  Really its only Elves and Humans who lose nuclear wars.

[itisnotlogical]

The !!super-accelerated atom!! strikes the !!super-accelerated atom!! in the proton and the severed part sails off in an arc!
A nuclear reaction has begun!

*Hundreds of pages of "The (x) is melting!" later*

Tethaomon, World has been struck down.

[BeenCarl]

Urist McParent: Wow, my child is looking pretty parched maybe I should just take some time to get a drink for me and my child at the same time instead of letting my child die.

For some reason this fort I just started is loaded with irresponsible parents. Not sure why though I haven't done anything differently. 

[WealthyRadish]

Skiz Takimov, Kobold Thief: "...Wait, why would they chain kittens up here? Must be a dwarf thing... guess I can just walk in then."

[Rolan7]

Skiz Takimov, Kobold Thief: "...Wait, why would they chain kittens up here? Must be a dwarf thing... guess I can just walk in then."

Oddly, until this very moment I never considered that to be an exploit.

Urist McMicmic cancels drink: fell out of chair.

[Zaffre]

Urist McMiner: "You know, I going to dig through this warm stone. We're under the magma, after all."

[itisnotlogical]

Urist McSafetyInstructor: All right, now what do we do if we catch on fire?
Urist McFortPopulation: Stop, drop and roll!

[omg_scout]

Boogymen: "He is tired after all that fighting. Let him sleep."

[SixOfSpades]

Sibrek Dakostkogan, Miner: "Hm. Boss wants us to dig up this dirt and sand."
Kalost Godenvucar, Miner: "Yeah . . . our picks won't really be much use here. I'll go get us a couple of shovels, that should work better."

[itisnotlogical]

Elf adventurer: It's a dangerous world out there. I should probably equip myself with more than a wooden spear.

[lordofthenothing]

Horrifying screams come from the brightness above!