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Poll

most common cause of losing a fortress?

wildlife
goblin abmushes, sieges etc.
human abmushes, sieges etc.
elf abmushes, sieges etc.
titans, forgotten beasts, megabeasts
demons
magma
necromancers
undead
tantrum spiral
loyalty cascade
giant mosquito invasion

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Author Topic: 400 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION  (Read 69283 times)

DanteThanatos

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #135 on: September 03, 2012, 01:28:32 pm »

It wasn't even a necro...kinda.
I just...updated it to today.
We can't have a Thread that calls for 200 Things and stop at 173.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #136 on: September 03, 2012, 01:34:58 pm »

ASCII MAGAZINE ISSUE TWO

Ñ: "Ha ha ha! Today this thread returns from the dead!"
@: "Vile creature! This stops now!"

@/ Ñ

ASCII MAGAZINE ISSUE THREE

Tequil: "I LOVE YOU!"
Lural: "LIAR!"
      U U
...

Lural: You brought him here to kill me!
@      U U

Tequil: No...
Lural grabs Tequil by the throat with the force.
Lural adjusts his grasp.
Lural strangles Tequil.
Tequil has fallen unconscious.

Stalcon: LET HER GO LURAL
        U
@        U

Stalcon: LET
Stalcon: HER
Stalcon: GO

Tequil has suffocated.
@      @ U

Lural: YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!
@      @U

Stalcon: You have done that yourself.
@      U @

Lural drops the leather cloak.
Lural: You will not take her from me!
Stalcon: Your anger and lust for immortality have already done that.
Stalcon drops the leather cloak.

@  U

Stalcon: You let these night lords to twist your mind until now... Until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy.

@  U

Lural: Don't lecture me Tequil. I see through the lies of the merchants of spinning.

@ U

Lural: I do not fear the night as you do.

U  @

Lural: I have brought peace, freedom, justice and security to my new empire...

Stalcon: Your new empire?

U      @

Lural: Don't make me kill you.

U      @

Stalcon: Lural my allegiance is to the Queen, TO THE MONARCHY!

Lural: If you're not with me... Then you're my enemy.

Stalcon: Only a necromancer deals in absolutes. I will end your lust for murder if I must.

Lural: Others have tried, only to be crushed beneath my heel like vermin.

@/ \Ñ

*Woeweeweeeww*
Ñ\ /@

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #137 on: September 03, 2012, 01:38:10 pm »

I still move we discount those ones about the thread necro crap. But until then:

202. Disassembling buildings in an abandoned human town can lead to multiple fatalities because of either glitched floors constructs or just floor constructs you didn't notice. (two humans dead with a dying civ = "That's not good.")

203. be careful deconstructing stairs. That alunite block you used for the top part can easily turn into a near-lethal projectile that breaks two workers' limbs and results in them developing infections because they weren't seen to properly or quickly enough (and because all the soap was beign used for regular cleaning just as the hospital was finished.)

GoombaGeek

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #138 on: September 03, 2012, 03:31:01 pm »

I really want to make some sort of ASCII Magazine webcomic now. The possibilities are limitless.
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My wooden badge was delicious.

Loud Whispers

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #139 on: September 03, 2012, 04:05:58 pm »

I really want to make some sort of ASCII Magazine webcomic now. The possibilities are limitless.
Just be sure to send a link :P

Broseph Stalin

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #140 on: September 03, 2012, 08:05:18 pm »

204 Fuck Camels
205 Fuck Horses
206 Fuck Cows
207 If it has hooves leave it alone.

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #141 on: September 03, 2012, 08:10:14 pm »

204 Fuck Camels
205 Fuck Horses
206 Fuck Cows
207 If it has hooves leave it alone.

Once more I am made to laugh.

MythagoWoods

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #142 on: September 03, 2012, 09:07:42 pm »

204 Fuck Camels
205 Fuck Horses
206 Fuck Cows
207 If it has hooves leave it alone.

Which is why I have my cows as war trainable.

208. Shooting straight for the cavern is not always the best idea. (In my defense there were no trees or soil I could use above ground and I didn't bring logs.  Sadly getting to the caverns brought blind cave ogres.)
209.  Having a breeding pair of saltwater crocs and alligators then training all their offspring into war animals then assigning them into a cage and unleashing them on a siege is hilarious.
210.  The clean-up of all your chopped up croc bits is not, however.
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My cows are war trainable. BEWARE THE BATTLE CATTLE!

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #143 on: September 03, 2012, 09:10:47 pm »

I made a species of carniverous battleyaks because of the mess yaks caused once. I couldn't bring myself to slaughter four battle earned named yaks when I was running low on food. Sure one was missing a limb and another all its teeth but still.

211. Dyers can wreak havoc with your clothing industry because of how hauling works now.

cats

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #144 on: September 05, 2012, 11:25:09 pm »


Lural: Others have tried, only to be crushed beneath my heel like vermin.



Like a vermin?

...

Crushed for the very first time?
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Hanslanda

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #145 on: September 05, 2012, 11:26:26 pm »

Like the very first time.


Are we doing this? Are we going to make a Dwarf Fortress Madonna song?
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Hurize

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #146 on: September 05, 2012, 11:40:23 pm »


Lural: Others have tried, only to be crushed beneath my heel like vermin.



Like a vermin?

...

Crushed for the very first time?


Why did you post, I though this topic was dead, why?
Logged
The amount of malice in this thread is actually causing me some concern. I mean, chaining up mothers and forcing them to breed, just so we can drown their children to harvest their organs? Does this strike no one else as absolutely horrific?
You misspelled 'hilarious'

Splint

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #147 on: September 06, 2012, 12:37:32 am »

It was only inactive because nobody had anything new that they learned to share.

Although i suppose we could always continue posting to annoy you.

cats

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #148 on: September 06, 2012, 12:50:30 am »


Lural: Others have tried, only to be crushed beneath my heel like vermin.



Like a vermin?

...

Crushed for the very first time?


Why did you post, I though this topic was dead, why?


Aw, don't feel sad and blue.  :(
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Hanslanda

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Re: 200 things you learned the hard way. FORTRESS EDITION
« Reply #149 on: September 06, 2012, 01:31:08 am »

It was only inactive because nobody had anything new that they learned to share.

Although i suppose we could always continue posting to annoy you.


This. I'm getting quite annoyed with him.
Logged
Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.
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