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[Truean]

Mount a spring loaded boxing glove up near the window. Teach that little fucker who's boss with an uppercut!

Actually.... I've seen milder but similar done to bird feeders to deter squirrels. The actual feeder is just bare bones perch and seed storage for the birds. All the ornamentation is rigged to fall off when weight is put on it. Probably surprises the squirrels quite a bit.

That said, somebody is going to end up suggesting we find a way to rig his windowsil to explode.... While not a good one, we all know we've had far worse ideas here....

[MaximumZero]

Mount a spring loaded boxing glove up near the window. Teach that little fucker who's boss with an uppercut!

Actually.... I've seen milder but similar done to bird feeders to deter squirrels. The actual feeder is just bare bones perch and seed storage for the birds. All the ornamentation is rigged to fall off when weight is put on it. Probably surprises the squirrels quite a bit.

That said, somebody is going to end up suggesting we find a way to rig his windowsil to explode.... While not a good one, we all know we've had far worse ideas here....

You could set up a tripwire with lots of noisy fireworks attached. That would scare the bird away and be hilarious.

[GlyphGryph]

Tap back AND/OR Write down the tap pattern, and post it here for us to decipher.

Alternately, lay down some bird spikes.

Funny note - the sparrows around here love making nests in bird spikes. Doesn't make any sense!

[MaximumZero]

Tap back AND/OR Write down the tap pattern, and post it here for us to decipher.

Alternately, lay down some bird spikes.

Funny note - the sparrows around here love making nests in bird spikes. Doesn't make any sense!

Spikes must be too big. What if you used tacks instead?

[Moghjubar]

Better yet, Poe had a Raven rapping at his door, you've a sparrow. Somehow also become immortal from an avian visitor?

Poetry, the obvious solution.

[GlyphGryph]

Spikes must be too big. What if you used tacks instead?

I think they mostly nest in the pigeon spikes. The smaller more densely packed spikes seem to mostly keep them away.

[Truean]

Mount a spring loaded boxing glove up near the window. Teach that little fucker who's boss with an uppercut!

Actually.... I've seen milder but similar done to bird feeders to deter squirrels. The actual feeder is just bare bones perch and seed storage for the birds. All the ornamentation is rigged to fall off when weight is put on it. Probably surprises the squirrels quite a bit.

That said, somebody is going to end up suggesting we find a way to rig his windowsil to explode.... While not a good one, we all know we've had far worse ideas here....

You could set up a tripwire with lots of noisy fireworks attached. That would scare the bird away and be hilarious.

Knew it.

[MaximumZero]

Spikes must be too big. What if you used tacks instead?

I think they mostly nest in the pigeon spikes. The smaller more densely packed spikes seem to mostly keep them away.

Ah, that makes sense, then.

Mount a spring loaded boxing glove up near the window. Teach that little fucker who's boss with an uppercut!

Actually.... I've seen milder but similar done to bird feeders to deter squirrels. The actual feeder is just bare bones perch and seed storage for the birds. All the ornamentation is rigged to fall off when weight is put on it. Probably surprises the squirrels quite a bit.

That said, somebody is going to end up suggesting we find a way to rig his windowsil to explode.... While not a good one, we all know we've had far worse ideas here....

You could set up a tripwire with lots of noisy fireworks attached. That would scare the bird away and be hilarious.

Knew it.

Hey, if the lawyer has the idea, it muse be a good idea, amirite?

[Gantolandon]

Also, there seems to be a fair bit of bird poo smeared on my window.

That's why it was knocking - it wanted to pay for the toilet.

[Lord Dullard]

Better yet, Poe had a Raven rapping at his door, you've a sparrow. Somehow also become immortal from an avian visitor?

Poetry, the obvious solution.

Exactly. Just allow the bird to keep pecking. Whilst it will gradually drive you in to the depths of utter madness, everyone knows that insane people create the best art (see: Poe, van Gogh). You may be too insane to care, but someday, after you die and somebody digs up your poetry journal from your house which is bizarrely decorated in swathes of sparrow-worshiping paraphernalia, you will become immortal.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sparrow, sparrow, ever-pecking
Pecking at my window-sill.
Do you desire seeds and water?
What need can my window fulfill?
Or do you want to enter, flying,
Flying into my demesne?
What is it you'll gain by pecking
Always pecking at my brain?
Pecking, pecking, ever-pecking,
What is this most dour refrain?
What is it you want from here,
Why do you still peck and leer?
Why do I continually hear,
Rapping, Tapping, PECKING STILL!

[Akura]

The sparrow is a messenger of Sheogorath?

[Ancre]

Find where he lives and peck at his window during his sleep. Let's see if he likes it ! Fight back !

[DJ]

So I opened one side of the window and it just continued to peck on the closed one. When I stood at my window so it doesn't dare to approach, it moved to the bathroom window.

Oh, and that poem is awesomesauce.

[jc6036]

A cat or an excorsist? Try both.

Cat Excorsist.

[DJ]

So I stood at my window again and this time it sat on a telephone cable, chirping at me and striking a menacing pose. I'm scared for my life.