Cheeseburger Curry by popular demand
Makes about 2.5 gallons
You'll need:
2 pounds of (dry) rice
Vegetables
Adequate cooking oil
1 tsp cumin seed
4 large yellow onions
4 large carrots
1 head of celery
1 box (8 oz?) of mushrooms
30 cloves of garlic
1 tsp lime juice
Sauce
3 lb ground meat (can substitute TVP and vegetable stock for a vegetarian version, but I don't know how much of each)
1 jar (16 oz?) sweet pickles
1/2 cup thousand island dressing
1/4 cup mustard (the condiment, not the seed, though that would work too)
~40 oz yogurt
1/2 lb chopped broccoli, frozen
1/2 lb chopped spinach, frozen
1/2 lb chopped kale, frozen
2 lb shredded cheddar cheese
Spices (I have no idea how much - be very liberal with the first group, a bit more careful with the second, and you'll generally want more of the ones at the top of a section compared to the ones at the bottom)
Black Pepper
Cumin
Turmeric
Salt
Coriander
Ginger
Cinnamon
Cracked Red Pepper
Cardamom
Cloves
Allspice
Nutmeg
First, boil the rice. While it's cooking, chop your carrots, onion, and celery, and begin to fry them up in the oil on medium-high heat, along with the cumin seeds. By the time you finish all that chopping, and the vegetables, your rice should be nearly done. Transfer it into an acceptable holding vessel, wash the pot, and throw in your meat and brown it on medium heat, stirring frequently throughout all the rest of these steps. This will take some time, so while it begins to sizzle, crush your many cloves of garlic and add them and the mushrooms to the vegetable mix, then lower the heat to medium. Mix it, and once it starts to look evenly done, add the lime juice and remove from heat. Add it to your rice and stir well. Return to your chopping board and dice the pickles, reserving the brine from the jar. Add them to the beef, which should be very nearly done. Stir, and when the beef finishes cooking, add the yogurt, the salad dressing, the mustard, and the remaining pickle brine.
Now, season the crap out of it. You should know how you like your curry seasoned before making this, and note that we're going to wind up with something creamy and acidic, so season accordingly. You're also starting with a lot of salt from the cheese and pickles. Don't be afraid to start with less than you think you'll need and bring it up to the right flavor by taste. Stir. Once it's all homogeneous, add your frozen vegetables and stir until thawed, and the entire mixture is warm again. Add 1 pound of cheese. Add the other pound to your holding vessel(s). Once the cheese is smoothly melted, and trust me when I say that it shouldn't go stringy on you, spoon the sauce over your rice, vegetables, and cheese, and stir. Serve whenever the hell you want, because this is going to last you a week if you're one person.
I'm a very imprecise cook, so while what I
did worked for me, I can't be 100% certain that what I
typed will work for you. Exercise caution, and remember that I accept no responsibility if you wreck an entire week's grocery budget trying to do this (smaller portions would probably be wise).
Author
Topic: Food Thread: Kitchen Chemistry (Read 576325 times)