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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Splint]

Methinks the others should start getting a little.... wary of The Master....

[The Master]

Side note:

CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!

[Mr Frog]

Nooo! My precious F.R.O.G.! What did my little bird-in-a-box ever do to you? ...That you can prove?

----

Spoiler: Journal of Mr Frog (click to show/hide)

Entry #3034

The Master appears to have taken to the habit of running haphazardly through the halls while vigourously rubbing that wooden pike of his and screaming, at the top of his voice, oaths to carnage, which he has apparently adopted as his core principle in life. This is good; his enthusiasm to fulfill the intended outcome of his job will serve as a great inspiration to the rest of our military.

I am greatly curious about the significance of the aforementioned wooden pike. To date, I do not believe I have ever seen him without it. I recall reading a deeply-fascinating study somewhere (by a Dr. Gladys or some such, I think? It's been a while) stating that people in difficult situations (such as, for example, living in a mug-choked warren full of mushroom-gnawing fools) may develop emotional bonds with inanimate objects to satisfy their thirst for emotional release and personal companionship. This may be an opportunity for me to confirm Dr. Gladys's results firsthand.

[Splint]

27th Slate, 204. Interm entry.

Finally done killing the emu for food. How this had slipped by me I have no idea. Such a shame we had to sacrifice those emu for the fortress... Perhaps we need to get egg production up and see if anyone else is a decnt enough chef to cook the damned things.

I've also begun to grow leery of The Master..... Last night I caught him staring at me with a touch of murderous intent. Maybe it was because I called him an elf at dinner for loving that stupid wooden pole last week.... Regardless, both he and Draignean have.... changed since they came here. Maybe they got into Frog's stash? Buh, who knows. I think The Master needs to be placed in a furnished quarentine cell off the battlefield for our own safty, and Draignean need to wise up to everyone punching him in the face. Niether will likely happen, but I can dream.

[Please don't kill me Master, I'd prefer NOT having to get redorf'd, plus I actually do the bookkeeping. Barring Spawn or barbarians killing me that is.]

[The Master]

ThE MaStER's LoG:
The voices...THE VOICES SCREAM AT ME AT NIGHT! THEY TEll ME SToRies of gREat CARNAGE! and happy little butterflies! The GREAT gOD SIROCCO WILL SHOWER MAGNIFICENT gaZEbOs UPON THE CARNAGE! FILLED LANDSCAPE! ALL WILL WORSHIP THE GODS OF CARNAGE! CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!
Don't worry Splint, I willwon'twill kill off your character.

[Draignean]

ThE MaStER's LoG:
The voices...THE VOICES SCREAM AT ME AT NIGHT! THEY TEll ME SToRies of gREat CARNAGE! and happy little butterflies! The GREAT gOD SIROCCO WILL SHOWER MAGNIFICENT gaZEbOs UPON THE CARNAGE! FILLED LANDSCAPE! ALL WILL WORSHIP THE GODS OF CARNAGE! CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!CARNAGE!
Don't worry Splint, I willwon't kill off your character.

Remind me to put your squad at the vanguard of every offensive we undertake.
Of course I'm also in your squad, so that could be bad.

[Splint]

Nonsense! The Master's martial prowess makes him deserving of fighting as a one dwarf army! He is The Master after all.
And his Dwarf's deteriorating mental state has me worried. And whoever gets the opprotunity needs to pitch that toothpick into a magma furnace.

[The Master]

whoever gets the opprotunity needs to pitch that toothpick into a magma furnace.

Kay. Remember what I said about me sparing you? Forget I said that. You're on the top of the list. F.R.O.G. will die second.

[Mr Frog]

And his Dwarf's deteriorating mental state has me worried. And whoever gets the opprotunity needs to pitch that toothpick into a magma furnace.

Indeed. When dealing with an omnicidal maniac, one's immediate act should always entail the total fiery destruction of the lone, tattered thread holding them back from the edge.

Also, seconding the one-dwarf-army proposal.

[Splint]

He's going to deliberately get me killed. I know it.

And that stupid stick is corrupting his miiiind!

[Talvieno]

Journal of Talvi Diamondknight, late spring of 203

Things 'ave been weird here, since mr Draignean took over and such. He made hisself Mayor, first off - Mr Frog (bless him) had been nice enough t' let me stay on as the leader of Spearbreakers (cuz of that, I think he fancies me!!!), but mean ol' mr Draignean kicked me off th' team and threw me back in the shadows. ' Least I have more time t' play with me cavies, and guess what! Mayor Draignean (we have to call 'im that now, he sez so) gave me the title of "Cavy of Trades" or sumthin', but that doesn't matter - I have "Cavy" in m' name, and it's all thanks to him!!! ...But then he knocked that spawn off the ledge - Mr Frog was too kind-hearted to do that. Poor spawn... he jus' wanted his mommy, he'd been crying for her for days. I can unnerstan' it - "Oh, holistic, hel' me!" the little guy kept sayin'. I know if I was a big tough spawn, I'd have to be awful scared t' try to call for my mommy. Soon as we let him down he ran away crying... I felt so bad, I jus' wanted to giv' him a hug. I would've, too, if Draignean had let the gate down. But then he did, and HARD got killed. I never liked HARD much anyway - he was too mean to the spawnses, and his name in all cap'tal letter makes it ever so hard to write.

Mayor Draignean seems to be a good goblin-killer dwarf person - 'e killed a bunch of 'em with his eyes closed and his hand stuck behind 'is back, in his shirt, and his pike stucked there, too!

Bombzero's been all a huff, cuz Draignean wouldn' let her butcher her corpses. It ain't all his fault - Mayor Draignean, I meant to say!!! Oh, me gods, I hope he didn' notice... Anyhow, splint weren't too happy that he had t' do it instead. He really liked those emus for some reason... Well, The Master has a wooden stick, and Splint has emus... each to his own, I guess. 'Least they're all happy at the dinner table with their mugs. Speakin' of Bombzero, tho' - turned out she'd been carving out chunks of her bedroom wall in her spare time and making 'em into more mugs. I really think she shoulda been the boss person, she would've made a good one.

Mr Frog's been having nightmares about ballistae for some reason... I dunno why, somethin' about them not bein' sharp enough. I know he has, cuz I watch him sometimes... at night... ev'ry night... a lot ev'ry night... Anyhow, I's been wakin' him up by throwin' rocks at his head. I figger a li'l bump'll hurt a lot less worse than bad dreams.

I's taken to hidin' Joseph under my bed... He doesn't like to stay there, but there ain't much I can do 'bout that. I jus' tell him sorry, an' that there ain't no way around it. I got Mr Frog to come into my room jes a few days ago, but right then stupid Joseph tried to climb out from unner the bed! Mr Frog didn' act like he saw him, but I'm sure he was jus' bein' polite. It's so bad, too, I was goin' to seduct him, or whatever. (I stole one of Draignean's calendars he got off th' elves - how do you like that word, journal? Seduct... don't know if I ever e'en used that word befores.)

A new dwarf called Solpyre showed up with the migrants... He seemed awful scared of the boogiemens out there, but he's all right, all in all, I think. He even showed me how to make better cavy engravings! I have picshurs of 'em all over my walls, floor and ceiling now.

Finally, a lot of m' old friends died yesterday in an awful battle... All cuz Draignean wouldn' let the Goblins have a bit o' earth to live on. Juunya died too, that poor old girl... She was a legendary craftsdwarf, too, she was. I liked her a lot... <here a teardrop stains the page> I named her... I named her after my stuffed cavy from when I was a li'l girl! I had that stuffed cavy since I was 2... I was so sad... Anyhow, that's why I stole one of Draignean's calendars. I figger he didn' need it so much 's I did in my grief.


Also, The Master's scarin' me... I think I'd rather cuddle up with a spawn than have him around while I sleep at night...



In case it isn't obvious yet, Talvi is completely nuts. The ordeal with the spawn during her time as overseer left her almost childlike.

[Splint]

So. We have a soldier who's maniacly attached to a wooden stick, one who's gone absolutly bonkers, an extradimensional exile-stoner, Zap Brannagin, and one who's got a thing for Emu. Oh and a homicadal butcher-miner-mug maker.

Jesus. This place is really going down hill. Taking all bets on this fortress having the most psychosis riddled dwarves ever before this is over!

[Mr Frog]

Spoiler: Journal of Mr Frog (click to show/hide)

Entry #3010

Talvieno showed me into her room the other day. Apparently, she had misplaced something, and needed my help looking for it. There wasn't anything that needed my attention at the moment, so I acquiesced.

That isn't what's interesting, however.

While I was in there, I'm very sure that I saw the corner of... something black... sticking out from the shadows under her bed. Talvieno, who was lying on her bed at the time (as I have come to expect from these dwarves, she was wasting time adjusting her brassiere or some such nonsense when she could have been assisting with searching for whatever it was that she misplaced) quickly noticed and hopped onto the ground, not-so-discretely kicking the *something* back under as she did so.

I decided it was best not to let on that I had seen... whatever it was that she apparently doesn't want me to see. She quickly ushered me out of the room after that. I suppose she must have found whatever she had been looking for (she never did specify what it was she had lost).

I'd think that the thing that I saw was a plastic-cased device of some sort if I didn't know full well that these hillbillies don't have anywhere near the tech required. It was probably just an obsidian slab with a picture of a cavy engraved or some such. Still, I am curious.

I did notice the presence of what appeared to be a word-a-day calendar on her wall. I suppose it's nice that these dwarves are making an effort to embrace culture.

(Yes, this is anachronic; Talvieno's journal -- which this is a response to -- was from early spring.)

[Talvieno]

Okay, so now Talvi's imaginary friend has taken a physical form? That's... really bizarre. o.O

[Mr Frog]

Okay, so now Talvi's imaginary friend has taken a physical form? That's... really bizarre. o.O

My logic was "mentally-unstable narrator + funny man talking at her out of a futuristic iPad = 'oh, look, there's a person living under my bed!'"