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[Max White]

Ah, I see... And does the game allow for unlimited extensions? Who is running it?

[Phantom of The Library]

Woops, now that PM is gonna be kind of awkward...

Derp seems to be my middle name today.

[Max White]

Did you also confess all your deepest, darkest secrets, hoping to get them off your chest but knowing that they will never be read in a PM? Because boy, I can tell you there is egg on my face!

[Tellemurius]

Oh wow, damn sneaky forum shinobi! She is online right now! Could be reading this very post...

Wouldn't it be Kunoichi?

[Aklyon]

Oh wow, damn sneaky forum shinobi! She is online right now! Could be reading this very post...

Wouldn't it be Kunoichi?

I think so.

[ggamer]

Vector, I know we haven't been on the best of terms as of... like, always. You, a super liberal visionary trying to change the world, and me, an evil arch-conservative christian bass singer who scowls at everybody. Still, best of luck to you in your adventures, and I hope you come back before the end of the year.

[Max White]

Oh wow, damn sneaky forum shinobi! She is online right now! Could be reading this very post...

Wouldn't it be Kunoichi?

Do I look like an expert on ninjas? Fuck I only know the world 'shinobi' because I heard somebody say it during my pirate and privateer training.

[Phantom of The Library]

Did you also confess all your deepest, darkest secrets, hoping to get them off your chest but knowing that they will never be read in a PM? Because boy, I can tell you there is egg on my face!

Nah, don't have many of those, more like provided a link to this thread, so she most likely is reading this right now...

[Heron TSG]

Welp, guess we can all go back to being racist, sexist, homophobic assholes now.

Well, shit. If she leaves, then there goes the neighborhood.

I like to think that her impact has been great enough that the neighborhood will not only miss her, but also remember her teachings. We might need to step it up a bit, but I don't think her existence here will have been in vain.

_{(I know you guys are joking.)}

[Tellemurius]

Please don't leave forever Vector, i only gotten this far in math http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=fO1Vhc88QkM

[JoshuaFH]

Thanks for your presence in the forum thus far Vector; you were always an idol of academia and a cool person to boot.

[G-Flex]

Please don't leave forever Vector, i only gotten this far in math http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=fO1Vhc88QkM

Sadly, people probably don't even recognize the Wizard of Oz parody going on here.

[Max White]

Well not really, I don't have a heart and I really don't need one.

[Protactinium]

I used to be a different person.  I'm glad that I've become more compassionate, a kinder person, and more mature and sophisticated.  But I waste too much time doing things that I've already done a billion times before, I've become a coward with no work ethic, and I'm on the verge of hitting rock bottom academically.  I've lost both passion and drive.  I'm a shell that doesn't care about anything because I've already decided that I'm going to fail before I even start trying.  I've become strong in altruism and weak in work.

It's reassuring to me that I'm not the only one who has had this exact same character progression.

Well, there's a nice window into my own life.  I'd follow your example, if I hadn't already decided that's not my actual problem.

And it's reassuring to me that others also recognize these deficiencies as not stemming from the distractions, but simply using the particular distractions because they exist. Before the internet, people failed out of college for skipping class to play cards. Cards weren't the evil, nor are computer games or forums. The evil is an innate personality trait, and needs to be overridden manually.

Vector's plan is to override the flaws by eliminating distraction, and maybe the proactive nature of such a decision might snowball properly and get her where she needs to go.

My project isn't to distance myself from distraction. It's to exercise, get endorphins, and value achievement. It's also to get my personal friends to hound me like a parent, because I don't move if I'm not pushed.

Good luck and goodbye, Vector. We rarely spoke, but what I've quoted from you really impresses me.

[Vector]

Thanks, everyone, for all of your well-wishes.

I'm not gone yet (is that mafia game over?  No), but I really appreciate your kindness.  I'll be sure to listen to this stuff over the next couple of days =)  Oh, and for those of you who have PM'd me about physical meetups/letters/other forms of contact, I'm trying to work something out.  Before I leave, there will certainly be some decision made.


And Protactinium--I do realize that the internet is not the problem, but my own personal weaknesses.  However, it has become the solution to so very many issues I have that it's making it harder for me to grow up and develop a wide range of adaptive strategies--better to sit about ruminating, if nothing else, because at least then I would have to introspect seriously.  I never have to look at myself honestly, because I'm always feeding myself through a societal lens.  I never have to clean myself up and look for friends, because on the net I'm spiffy enough.  I like it here.  It's sheltering.  I feel accepted and acceptable.  It's so easy to make excuses for every little thing, or hide them.

The truth is, I did really need to be here, once.  My time here has been enormously valuable and well-spent.  However, I do think that the time has come to jolt myself from my little nest and take the warmth y'all have given me, and try to face the world again.  I spent years in emotional and social stasis after my cousin died.  I closed my face to the world and couldn't be honest about any part of my feelings.  Now that I have learned to be more honest with people, and trust in their kindness, I have to go back to the world I abandoned and make my way there.

Basically, I find it too easy to slip into routine, and I've got to break out of it.  I have an irritatingly long concentration span (7+ hours straight), and I seldom get truly bored--so I'm remarkably susceptible to something like the internet eating gobs of time.  It's a very good trait, but it's not helpful at all when combined with certain habits.

So, for now... to the welcoming arms of my beloved.