CHAPTER ONE: TURN ONE
"Now, what we have here,” crackles a voice over the neural implant communications net,
“Are common or garden Chinese Communists, very dangerous if treated incorrectly... Oh, crikey mate! You know, I'm not sure I'm right – I think these might be one of the lesser spotted Chinese Communist Cattybaras – I've been trying to get my hands on one of these for years! Strewth! Are you filming this, guys? This fella's enormous!"Paul McCartney bursts out of the technologically advanced helicopter, spinning his guitar around his head. He waits for his companions to follow suit then aims the instrument at the last remaining MEOW MINION and shoots! While the minion is experiencing conflicting emotions, he runs through the fancy doors.
"Go, boys!” shouts
McCartney, jumping out of the bowiecopter and dramatically swinging his
trusty guitar around in the air above his head.
“See how they run like pigs from a gun! Hmm – perhaps I should note that one down. Hang on!"As his three squad mates follow out of the chopper, Paul scribbles down a
hurried note in his songbook before raising his guitar to his shoulder, lining it up towards the last cattybara cowering in the Communist HQ entrance, and strumming a blast of pure
peace and love!
... It's an amazingly moving chord sequence! The guard's eyes mist over! Paul rushes over to the doorway following Davy Crockett.
Archimedes hurriedly finishes the calculations he was drawing on the floor of the helicopter. Whitout saying a word, he jumps out of the helicopter; for those who do not understand the full scope of Mathemagics do not deserve his respect. After that he takes cover, because bullets tend to be rather disrespectfull to mathematics .
Multiply this, also take cover
... Not one for robe-based small talk,
Archimedes finishes his calculations and jumps out of the bowiecopter behind his
new-found comrades. He shouts out several sets of figures and mentions something about
“roughly 62 degrees, chaps!” before looking round to see where he can take cover.
... Totally baffled and beginning to get very distracted by the fascinating construction on which he finds himself, Archimedes stays
rooted to the spot in the middle of the LZ!
Charge the guard and stab him, and find a firearm somewhere, preferably a rifle.
"I killed a BEAR when I was three,” shouts Davy Crockett at the whimpering Communist in the doorway,
“With my bare hands! You don't stand a chance!"... The King of the Wild Frontier stabs the communist cattybara in the lower body! He collapses to the floor, bleeding and weeping heavily, entirely incapacitated.
... As Crockett moves to stack up by the doorway, he crouches to the
dying minion and snatches up his flintlock rifle, and rummages about in the communist's communist bandoliers to supply himself with a fair quantity of ammo.
Weapon Acquired! Flintlock rifle!
"Crikey! Those are some blooming good guns ya have there, mate!" Steve said as he hopped out of the chopper. Waiting until Davy Crockett charged the guard that was left, Irwin darted towards the door to the bunker. "Now, what we have here are Chinese Communists, very dangerous if treated incorrectly..." He commented, seemingly to himself. A habit from all those wildlife shows, he guessed.
Scout out the doorway to the Chinese HQ.
With his comrades dealing with the remaining guard and stacking up by the door ready for entry,
Steve Irwin stops his commentary and rushes to the door, ready to sneak through.
... The door seems to jam! It feels a bit as if
someone is holding on to the handle on the other side!
VITAL STATISTICS OF THE BOWIENAUTS
EFFECTS IN EFFECTThe Power of Gentle Loving! The cattybara has been reduced to tears!
Multiply this! Team has one more turn of +1 attack bonus.
Player: Talarion
Name: Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter
Status:Inventory: Khaki Shorts, MateWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills:Croc Wrestler,
Oh Shit Is That... Player: freeformschooler
Name: Paul McCartney, The Last Beatle
Status:Inventory: Acoustic GuitarWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills:The Power of Gentle Loving,
I'm Not a Fighter, Man! Player: Toaster
Name: Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier
Status:Inventory: Bowie Knife, Flintlock Rifle.
Wounds: [HP:75/75]Skills:Crack Shot,
You May All Go to Hell... Player: 10ebbor10
Name: Archimedes of Syracuse
Status:Inventory: A Remarkably Good Approximation of PiWounds: [HP:75/75]Skills:Multiply This!,
Absent Minded!