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Author Topic: Most inappropriate engravings  (Read 10264 times)

hiho216

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #45 on: May 05, 2010, 12:46:49 pm »

At least we humans don't engrave things or put images of events on our stuff as much as dwarfs do. We'd have murals of presidents being assassinated and such all over D.C. as well as your standard cheeseburgers, Pontiac TransAms, and insects.

Sigging this
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At least we humans don't engrave things or put images of events on our stuff as much as dwarfs do. We'd have murals of presidents being assassinated and such all over D.C. as well as your standard cheeseburgers, Pontiac TransAms, and insects.

Jake

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #46 on: May 05, 2010, 02:48:12 pm »

From a little-visited corner of the fortress that I was engraving just to give them something to do: "Engraved on the wall is a masterful image of purring maggots."
From what seemed like every fifth engraving thereafter: "Engraved on the wall is a (variable-quality) rendition of a Urist McHirst engraving of purring maggots."

On the other hand, this fortress was home to a particularly homicidal sturgeon known as Lulllegends The Chains of Execution -I think it got about four dwarves and several animals before I finally had an axedwarf take care of it- so I suppose I got off rather lightly.
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Never used Dwarf Therapist, mods or tilesets in all the years I've been playing.
I think Toady's confusing interface better simulates the experience of a bunch of disorganised drunken dwarves running a fort.

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Hyperturtle

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #47 on: May 05, 2010, 02:51:36 pm »

This isn't the most inappropriate, but I had a dwarf that engraved a picture of a dwarf surrounded by cows, and then right next to it a dwarf hugging a cow.  In his profile, he liked cows... of course, for their haunting moos.
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Corona688

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #48 on: May 05, 2010, 03:31:54 pm »

My expedition leader apparently likes humans.  Half my engravings are of him hugging humans.
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You never know when you might need a berserk dwarf to set loose somewhere.

Dante

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #49 on: May 05, 2010, 05:44:41 pm »

In my first DF2010 fort my militia commander died of thirst because I didn't understand schedules yet. The engravers covered the dining hall in images relating to the dehydration Melbil Oceanchannel, so everyone could drink exquisite booze while admiring the dozens of images of Melbil standing in the barracks slowing dying of dehydration. One dwarf even made an artifact figurine with Melbil on it.


What an asshole, the guy dehydrated, and the figurine gets called "The Big Eater"
Heh, I noticed that. Hilarious.

Urist_McGamer

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #50 on: May 05, 2010, 06:10:14 pm »

At least we humans don't engrave things or put images of events on our stuff as much as dwarfs do. We'd have murals of presidents being assassinated and such all over D.C. as well as your standard cheeseburgers, Pontiac TransAms, and insects.

Sigging this

My first post and I get sigged...

Anyways, I can see it now:
This is a finely-crafted commemorative plate. On it is a well-designed image of John F. Kennedy the Human and Lee Harvey Oswald the Human. Lee Harvey Oswald is shooting John F. Kennedy. This artwork relates to the shooting of John F. Kennedy by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas in the late Winter of 1963.

Or:
This is a beer can. On it is a finely-designed image of a Dodge Charger.
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But others might prefer to have the mess contained behind windows to avoid tracking blood all over the their nice, color coordinated floor patterns. Kind of the Ozzy Osborne vs. Martha Stewart debate.

Lord Dakoth

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #51 on: May 06, 2010, 01:47:14 pm »

hill titan by the name of Smug.

Awesome.
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Avatar by legendary engraver /u/Redicno of reddit.

Lord Darkstar

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #52 on: May 06, 2010, 03:34:49 pm »

My expedition leader apparently likes humans.  Half my engravings are of him hugging humans.

That sounds like a DF euphemism.
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learn to give consolations to frustrated people
What is this, a therapy session? We don't need to console someone because they're upset about a fucking video game. Grow a beard, son, and take off those elf ears!

jnecros

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #53 on: May 06, 2010, 03:37:33 pm »

In the dinning hall they carved images of several dwarves from the first few hard years, all of them curled in the fetal position and dying from starvation and dehydration..I imagine that few folk look up from their steamy dog chops and cups of wine to the walls while eating there.
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Half beard
half belly
all dwarf

Libelnon

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #54 on: May 06, 2010, 03:43:33 pm »

In the dinning hall they carved images of several dwarves from the first few hard years, all of them curled in the fetal position and dying from starvation and dehydration..I imagine that few folk look up from their steamy dog chops and cups of wine to the walls while eating there.

Perhaps as a reminder? 'Remember to eat you meat, kiddies, as those before you had none'.
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I bet manly tea tastes like crushed nerd dreams.

Horizonblue

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #55 on: May 07, 2010, 01:02:11 am »

I think I've built Dwarven North Korea

Somehow, this wins.
The image of it is too.... good.
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When in doubt:  More Lever!

Toaster

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #56 on: May 07, 2010, 09:22:35 am »

My expedition leader apparently likes humans.  Half my engravings are of him hugging humans.

That sounds like a DF euphemism.

Could be worse- I think someone once had a dwarf hugging a tentacle demon.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Proteus

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #57 on: May 07, 2010, 11:43:39 am »

Not exactly an engraving, but fitting to the topic nevertheless...
in the  first year of my fortress Dastot, the dwarven liaison got killed upon arrival (the usual "arriving with upper body gone"- bug/glitch)
the next year one of the things my dwarves offered to the king was a superior orthoclase figurine...
it related to the dying of said liaison in the late autumn of the last year

:D

(hopefully the king understands the subtle hint and sends us a new liaison as soon as possible ;) )
« Last Edit: May 07, 2010, 11:47:12 am by Proteus »
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Deimos56

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Re: Most inappropriate engravings
« Reply #58 on: May 07, 2010, 01:46:25 pm »

Could be worse- I think someone once had a dwarf hugging a tentacle demon.
There is far worse.
Spoilered for lack of safety for sanity.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
...The game was modded to have [Redacted] as an adventurer race.
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I'm curious what the barely conscious ai wrote about.
Well that went better than expected.  He went nuts and punched a rabbit to death, then the dogs and the whole dining hall ripped him to shreds.
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