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Author Topic: I Just Want to be Badass  (Read 24419 times)

Tack

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #315 on: October 18, 2011, 10:21:48 am »

Snatch up two katana and kill all ninja that get near nick. Nick should get to some cover and have a rest.
Also give Nick a katana to hold in his teeth.
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Theodolus

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #316 on: October 18, 2011, 10:38:54 am »

oh, crap, I missed the part where nick lost his other arm. huh. poor nick. he can still use it in his teeth though. That or he can just bust out the tae kwon do moves.
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QuakeIV

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #317 on: October 18, 2011, 06:25:04 pm »

"BATMAN, WE HAVE FOUND AN OPENING TO THE PRIMARY SUPPORT COLUMN, LAUNCH THE BATMISSILES AT OUR POSITION!"
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QuakeIV

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #318 on: October 19, 2011, 01:40:22 pm »

You're all bastards.
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GENERATION 9: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.
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Gatleos

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #319 on: November 03, 2011, 09:44:37 pm »

"SAVE US BATMAN"
"I'm... kind of busy right now. I'm whipping up a soufflé in the Batkitchen."
"YOU'RE USELESS"
"It's a soufflé! I can't leave it or-"
"NINJAS EVERYWHERE"
"Alright alright. I could... let me see... ah, Steve is nearby! I could call in a favor from him but it may take a while for him to get there."
"DO IT"

Nick picks up the katana with his teeth and spins around, decapitating all the nearby ninjas! You and Nick back up toward the window as the ninjas close in on you. Another raptor rider bounds in through a window at the other end of the room!

NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 18 (Christopher Walken)
INVENTORY: Mom's Car Keys | Police Radio | Utility Belt
VEHICLE: Batcycle [!]
WOUNDS: Light Bleeding (chest/arms) | Heavy bleeding (eye) | Cracked Ribcage
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 2 Badass

NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Missing Right Arm | Missing Left Arm | Light Bleeding (chest) | Very Heavy Bleeding (left arm stump)
Balls
█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass

Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu
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Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
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Time Blossom

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #320 on: November 03, 2011, 10:17:13 pm »

It lives! :D

Also: Steve... Irwin? Steve Jobs?

What's with all the dead Steves?

Anyway...

>Steal Nick's D20
then
>Push the self-destruct button on the Batcycle's keyring, and leap out of the soon-to-be-exploding building while the ninjas "hurr?" at the comical car-unlocking bloop-bloop noise.
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Taricus

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #321 on: November 03, 2011, 10:19:32 pm »

Also take Nick's SMG and mow the ninjas down!
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Zako

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #322 on: November 03, 2011, 10:26:04 pm »

He's out of ammo!

Grab two katana and buy yourself time until backup arrives!
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Gatleos

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #323 on: November 05, 2011, 09:11:45 am »

You make a break for the Batcycle, picking up two katanas on the way and slashing your way through the room of ninjas! You then snatch up the Batcycle's keys from the floor and run back to Nick.
Nick passes out from blood loss and falls to the floor.

The ninjas close in around you as even more of them flood in through the windows and stairwell. You hold up the Batcycle's keyring and press the large red button.
"Jutsu this, bitch."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MELVIN LEVEL UP!!!
Melvin has reached level 3.

You land in some bushes outside the building. You can hear more ninjas coming around the side of the complex toward you!

NAME: Melvin T.
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Katana x2 | Mom's Car Keys | Police Bat Radio | Utility Belt
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Light Bleeding (chest/arms) | Heavy bleeding (eye) | Cracked Ribcage
Balls
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass

NAME: Nicolas Cage
RANK: 17 (Jason Statham)
INVENTORY: Sub-Machine Gun | Katana
VEHICLE: None
WOUNDS: Unconscious | Missing Right Arm | Missing Left Arm | Light Bleeding (chest) | Very Heavy Bleeding (left arm stump)
Balls
█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Level 3 Badass

Abilities Discovered: I: Assertiveness | II: Instant Firearm Expert | III: Car-Fu
Logged
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

Armok

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #324 on: November 05, 2011, 03:50:10 pm »

> turn the complex into a simple.
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DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #325 on: November 06, 2011, 08:11:05 am »

Throw down a smoke grenade and escape through an open manhole cover into the sewers.
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Pandarsenic

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Re: I Just Want to be Badass
« Reply #326 on: November 15, 2011, 01:36:50 am »

Revive the game Cage.
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