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Author Topic: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?  (Read 3871 times)

Staalo

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2014, 04:16:50 pm »

With "did not mind" did you mean that it had no difficulty killing him or that it didn't attack him?
Also, the mental image is adorable.

It didn't even try to attack him after he went down; I think it was embarrassed about the whole situation and didn't want to draw any more attention.

While we're talking about pathetic semi-megabeasts, the same fort also got three minotaurs who got beaten to death by dwarven children.

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smeeprocket

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2014, 04:31:36 pm »

man, minotaurs are usually at least a slight threat. I assume you just produce badass children. They probably pop out with full grown beards. (and as we know, both genders can grow glorious, majestic beards.)
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CrazyEyes

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2014, 08:14:45 pm »

Last year a werelizard showed up and proceeded to murder the crap out of a wild boar before turning back into a dwarf CHILD and fleeing from the map.  I didn't even need my military for that one.

...so did the boar turn into a lizard on the next full moon?

No, on account of it having been killed.
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Staalo

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2014, 02:43:18 am »

man, minotaurs are usually at least a slight threat. I assume you just produce badass children. They probably pop out with full grown beards. (and as we know, both genders can grow glorious, majestic beards.)

To be honest, the children in question were in a "dwarven day care" program... but still, they were unarmed five-year olds and no self-respecting minotaur should keel over that easily.
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TheHossofMoss

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2014, 01:37:12 pm »

My latest siege consisted of one goblin. He promptly left after walking around for 3 seconds.
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StagnantSoul

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #20 on: December 06, 2014, 01:52:43 pm »

Just had a minotaur show up, brandishing an iron two hand sword. Oh no! I don't have a military running! Quick, behind the- the minotaur has been struck down? Seriously? *Checks the report*... A... A... A dog killed it... Bit it's foot, then clawed it's way to it's brain.... Woah.
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Aslandus

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #21 on: December 06, 2014, 02:14:50 pm »

Just had a minotaur show up, brandishing an iron two hand sword. Oh no! I don't have a military running! Quick, behind the- the minotaur has been struck down? Seriously? *Checks the report*... A... A... A dog killed it... Bit it's foot, then clawed it's way to it's brain.... Woah.
Did the dog look like this?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

RanDomino

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #22 on: December 06, 2014, 08:42:19 pm »

Dark Stranglers.
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Thisfox

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2014, 08:54:18 pm »

Just had a minotaur show up, brandishing an iron two hand sword. Oh no! I don't have a military running! Quick, behind the- the minotaur has been struck down? Seriously? *Checks the report*... A... A... A dog killed it... Bit it's foot, then clawed it's way to it's brain.... Woah.
Did the dog look like this?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...every elfs worst nightmare...
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Naryar

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Re: Most Pathetic Invaders of All Time?
« Reply #24 on: December 07, 2014, 01:22:59 pm »

Dark Stranglers.

Saying a dark strangler is pathetic is somewhat redundant.

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