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[Illogical_Blox]

I have recently defeated my very first goblin siege! 

One of the gobbos, with a copper club (a modded weapon that, unknown to me, was malfunctioning), attacked a honey badger. What followed next was ridiculous. A 36 PAGE combat report, of the two "mighty powers" battling. Eventually, they were both seriously injured and unconcious, so I put them out of their misery. Two 36 page combat reports were ended by a dwarf chopping off both their heads in one sweep each of his -Steel Battle Axe-.

[Magistrum]

I would recommend giving the club to your worst soldier, to remember him to train everyday.

[utunnels]

I had a goblin weredeer who was torn apart by a honey badger. I guess he was in his goblin form, but still...
He was not an invadoer though, because his lair/cave was on the map, so in fact my dorfs were invaders.

[Quartz_Mace]

I know that the honey badger was decapitated, but I'm still tempted to say it didn't care.

[StagnantSoul]

I had a full, huge invasion show up. 90 goblins and a ton of animals, according to the kill order checklist. But guess what? Maybe a ninetieth of a tick later, a dragon showed up on the same block. Fire breath. The entire invasion burned to death in under a minute. And one silver ballista bolt caved in the dragon's skull.

[Quartz_Mace]

I had a full, huge invasion show up. 90 goblins and a ton of animals, according to the kill order checklist. But guess what? Maybe a ninetieth of a tick later, a dragon showed up on the same block. Fire breath. The entire invasion burned to death in under a minute. And one silver ballista bolt caved in the dragon's skull.

Wow, that's actually pretty cool. The both eliminated each other. Unfortunately, no war dragon, though.

[utunnels]

Unfortunately, no war dragon, though.

I think you can trap one. When the enemies come, release the dragon. When the job is done, lure the dragon back into its prison.

[TheHossofMoss]

For the past 3 years, I've had nothing but like 12 goblin crossbowman show up.

They've managed to injure 2 dwarves, but with no lasting injuries. Unfortunately for them, none of them survived, and are promptly dumped into the pit.

[CrazyEyes]

The Peasant Eshtan Roldethuzol Ushdish Noglesh has come!  A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.

 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That's him on the right, standing in the brook.  Probably a werebeast that showed up on the wrong day (it's the 11th of Timber so the full moon was 3 days ago).  Whatever, I send my military after him.  He spends some time running in circles before my militia commander catches up to him and buries an axe in his pancreas.  He runs away some more, my commander catches up and mangles his hand.  Eventually he is too tired to run anymore and my commander puts him down.

Sadly, this isn't even the most pathetic thing to attack my fortress.  Last year a werelizard showed up and proceeded to murder the crap out of a wild boar before turning back into a dwarf CHILD and fleeing from the map.  I didn't even need my military for that one.

[utunnels]

Urist McCoward: Oh no!!!! Run, it is a Peasant!! ...oh, wait, pea...sant, peasant?

[Staalo]

The very ominously named cyclops Uzur Ivorysparks the Relic of Twinkles paid a visit in one fortress I had. He started grappling with a bull elephant, stubbed his toe and passed out while still hugging the elephant's neck. The elephant didn't mind.

[VarrgieCaelai]

The very ominously named cyclops Uzur Ivorysparks the Relic of Twinkles paid a visit in one fortress I had. He started grappling with a bull elephant, stubbed his toe and passed out while still hugging the elephant's neck. The elephant didn't mind.

That... is just... adorable...

[Dwarf4Explosives]

The very ominously named cyclops Uzur Ivorysparks the Relic of Twinkles paid a visit in one fortress I had. He started grappling with a bull elephant, stubbed his toe and passed out while still hugging the elephant's neck. The elephant didn't mind.

With "did not mind" did you mean that it had no difficulty killing him or that it didn't attack him?
Also, the mental image is adorable.

Last year a werelizard showed up and proceeded to murder the crap out of a wild boar before turning back into a dwarf CHILD and fleeing from the map.  I didn't even need my military for that one.

That has to be one of the most hilariously pathetic things I've ever read.

[smeeprocket]

The problem with catching dragons is that they can light the cage traps on fire before you catch them. And they aren't exactly sparing with that damn fire breath.

[Thisfox]

Last year a werelizard showed up and proceeded to murder the crap out of a wild boar before turning back into a dwarf CHILD and fleeing from the map.  I didn't even need my military for that one.

...so did the boar turn into a lizard on the next full moon?