Chapter 64: Entire Team is Babies
The Pastamancer is the first to move, and using all his courage he hides inside Cannenoli Cocoon. (3) He makes it. And it's only big enough to cover his face. So, he boots up the Automated Turret! And promptly hides behind that too.
Twilight Sparkle enshrouds Infected Horde #1 with her
devil witchcraft magic. (5 vs. 6) She manages to control their thoughts! Too bad she forgot the whole thing about reanimated corpses lacking the capacity to conjure up new ideas. And also, they see her magic stemming from her unicorn horn, and promptly run after her. (2 vs. 4) Twilight flees,
"Help, get them off of me!""Ah. This takes me back." Dagoth Ur grins as waves of nostalgic memory come over him from seeing such a chaotic, hell-hole of a city. Beautiful. He calls upon more allies! (2) Damn, the phone reception here is really bad. Oh well, at least his homie
Dagoth Uthol has his back.
MR FOX. Vilseledande. (2) The fox man doesn't arrive at
The Swedish Chef's aid. He sticks to the shadows, ready to chop zombies to Valhalla.
Applejack sets her Heavy Machine Gat right next to the
Automated Turret, ready to fire on the incoming undead.
Al Capone notices
Twilight Sparkle being tailed by Infected Horde #1.
"Ay'! Leave her alone! Shejustalittlepony,whyyougottabebustin'ballsbout'sometin'like'dat?" Irritated, he produces a cocktail, lights a rag with his cigar, shoves the rag in and tosses the combination at the horde. (6 vs. 2) The bottle explodes in their midst, and the whole crowd catches on fire. They all promptly drop like stocks in Banana yogurt.
Big Macintosh enjoyed a good ole' fisticuffs rootin'-tootin' smackdown, without all the guns and stuff like that to make it confusing. He runs into the Second Infected Horde, (6 vs. 2) and gives the Infected a proper stomping. Being the hive mind that they are, they charge him over and over, despite dozens of them flying back with the force a strong stallion's swift blows. Skulls, spines and ribcages and smashed and slammed. Soon, Big Mac is standing over a pile of bodies, panting.
"Showd' 'em."Old Spice Guy takes off his Towel to reveal his magnificent hat. And then takes off his hat to reveal his magnificent (1) pin-pulled grenade. (3 vs. 6) The grenade explodes! And doesn't hurt Isaiah a bit.
"The power of Old Spice(TM)."Simo Hayha takes to what he knows best and runs up a nearby fire escape to the roof of a building. On the rooftop, Simo lays prone at the edge, unfolding his sniper rifle's bipod onto the ledge. He sweeps out the scope and looks over his allies, ready to stop any of them from being pounced upon.
Rainbow Dash flies and shoots at the Smoker. (1 vs. 5) She manages to miss, only getting his attention. (3 vs. 5) He lashes his tongue out at her, but she easily dodges it.
The Hunter growls and stays lows to the ground, scoping out the
H.O.E.S. for a target. Seeing
Pastamancer cowering behind a turret makes him look like weak prey. The Hunter arches it's bag, and then with a roar and a giant leap, scales hundreds of feet in seconds. (5 vs. 2) The Hunter lands on the Pasta wizard, pinning him to his back. It roars again,
"OHGODOHSHITGETITOFF" The Infected raises it's claws, (6 vs. 5) and an invisible force slams into the Hunter, sending it tumbling backwards and separating it's Left Arm from it's shoulder. Hayha refocuses his rifle,
"There you go comrade!"The Smoker stumbles in
Rainbow Dash's general direction, lashing his elongated tongue at her once more. (4 vs. 1) She nimbly dodges it, but the cocky Pegasus underestimates him and allows his long fleshy appendage to wrap around her. It reels it's tongue back, pulling the struggling pony onto the ground, and dragging her towards himself.
"Let go of me!" cries Dashie, finding herself in the 14th least sexiest situation involving a really long tongue.
The Boomer waddles it's way in front of
Applejack and the
Automated Turret, hobbling towards them both, gurgling and lurching.
"Laying down some fire!" A.J. and the turret fire off against the zombie. (3 vs. 5) (6 vs. 1) Jackie doesn't lay any substantial hits down, but the turret decapitates the Infected with one shot. The headless corpse flops down, decompressing it's bile into a puddle that doesn't come close to the lines of the living creatures.
The Witch moans and sobs.
The Charger and
The Swedish Chef both are milling around when they run into each other. The Chef puts his hands up.
"COME ON BITCH. YOU ARE POO-SAY!" (6 vs. 4) The Charger doesn't seem very pleased, solving the predicament by sprinting at the chef, picking him up, and slamming his back into the sidewalk pavement.
The Jockey cackles and jumps onto
Al Capone. "AH FUCK! YOU LITTLE SONOFABITCH', IMMA' KILL YOU! IMMA' BASH YOUR FACE IN!" (4 vs. 3) The Jockey tears it's claws at Capone's head, messing up his hat and slashes into skull flash.
Simo Hayha put the Spitter in the middle of his rifle's cross-hair. Just before he pulls the trigger, he notices a green dot appearing from the Spitter's location, coming closer and closer. And closer. (2 vs. 1) Simo rolls out of the way, but the acid attack manages to scrape him, taking the top part of his left boot off. The rest of the acid hits a back part of the roof and eats away at the surface.
"Hey, those were very nice boots!"Elite Kingston S.W.A.T. Team surrounds The Charger.
"TARGET ENGAGED. OPEN FIRE." (1 vs. 2) The bullets only manage to score glancing blows on the gigantic beast. (4 vs. 2) Annoyed, the Charger takes
The Swedish Chef, and using him as a club, beats down upon the S.W.A.T., injuring them.
Meatball Monster, who followed the party all the way here from the West, decides to take its own action. (5) It grows bigger, quadrupling in total size!
Dagoth Uthol guards
Dagoth Ur. "So master, any of these so called Infected zombie-toids pose a match that I could contend with?" Ur looks in front of him. He points at the
Tank currently charging them.
"He looks sort of tough." The Vampire casually walks up to the screaming monster, generating fire in his palms as he does.
"In the name of the House of Dagoth, stop thee!" (3 vs. 6) Two fireballs arch towards the boss Infected, and then arch right past him.
"Oh." (3 vs. 4) Uthol runs away, with the charging hulk behind him.
Tank!Current Thoughts: "RAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR-"Health: Dandy!
Hunter: An agile Infected that easily scales vertical surface and can jump great distances. It pounces onto it's prey and tears them apart with it's feral claws.
Ensnarement: When the Hunter successfully gets a hold on a target, it can only attack it's target and it's target can only attack it back. The Hunter gets a +1 to attacking it's target during the ensnarement. It only ends if the target is killed , or if the Hunter is hit by a strong attack. The Hunter can be attacked by other party members during this.
Inventory: Hoodie
Health: Left Arm Missing
Smoker: A tall Infected having two defining physical features: An inflation of skin on one side of it's face, and an absurdly long tongue. The Smoker stays on tall roofs, where it springs it's tongue at it's prey, wraps it around them, and then pulls them towards itself until they suffocate.
Ensnarement: When the Smoker successfully gets a hold on a target, it can only attack it's target and it's target can only attack it back. The Smoker gets a +1 to attacking it's target during the ensnarement. It only ends if the target is killed , or if the Smoker is hit by a strong attack. The Smoker can be attacked by other party members during this.
Smoke Cloud: When the Smoker if killed, it releases a cloud of thick smoke. If it is killed by a melee character, the smoke has a chance to hit them, and if successful gives them a -1 to all rolls next turn.
Health: Fine
Witch: An odd Infected which just walks around, sobbing. It does not have to be fought, and can be avoided.
Rage!: If the Witch is provoked by someone, it will charge them with it's giant claws. In Rage, the Witch will get +1 to offensive rolls, and can not be stopped until it is killed. It will only attack whoever provoked it, and will ignore everyone else no matter what they do.
Charger: A towering hulk of an Infected with it's upper torso split into an incredibly underdeveloped, and proportionally overdeveloped sides. It attacks by charging it's prey, grabbing them and then smashing them into the groud.
Grab N' Pound: Works the same way Ensnarement does. If the Charger is successful, it gets a bonus +2 against it's target. If it misses, it loses it's next turn.
Jockey: A small, hunchback infected that runs around cackling. It jumps on the head of it's prey, and then proceeds to smash and tear at their faces.
Ensnarement: When the Jockey successfully gets a hold on a target, it can only attack it's target and it's target can only attack it back. The Jockey gets a +1 to attacking it's target during the ensnarement. It only ends if the target is killed , or if the Jockey is hit by a strong attack. The Jockey can be attacked by other party members during this.
Spitter: The Spitter is the Infected version of someone who only goes to Wal-Mart at 3:15 in the morning. It attacks it's prey by spewing acid.
Acid Spit: Acid Spit melts items, and does damage over time like fire. It does extra damage to incapacitated or immobile targets.
Acid Burst: Upon death, the Spitter's stomach explodes, releasing a large puddle of acid all around it.
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown, L.C. Wintle's Lee Enfield, Whip, Surfboard, Sunglasses
Health: Ensnared
Twilight Sparkle
Items: The General's Oversized Machete Blade, Socially Acceptable Club Behavior (Part of the Official "How to: For Equestrians" Book Series)
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt, Skiing Pants, Glass Balls, Pasta Armor, Merasmus's Bombinomicon & Staff of Wood-ness, Cortez's Chrome, Cyan Garamonde's Samurai/Light U.S. Armor, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Boss's Cell Phone, Mobile Turret Parts, "Bikini Inspector" T-Shirt, Pieces of Gurren Lagann,.
Health: Health: Fine
Applejack
Items: Lasso, Theodore Roosevelt's Chromes, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, Hacha Axe, Turkish Saber, Heavy Machine Gat
Health: Fine
Old Spice Stallion
Items: Towel, Old Spice (TM), Coconut, Bowie Knife
Health: Fine
Dagoth Ur
Items: Golden Mask, Loincloth, Ash Statue
Abilities: Summon Ash Cloud (3 Turns: 1 Turn Cooldown), Call Upon Minions (Once Per Battle: Available!), A Present From House Dagoth, Telepathic Power Nap, Decorative "Mickey Mouse" Ears, The Holy Bible
Health: Fine
Al Capone
Items: Tommy Gat, Revolver, Pineapple Bombs, Molotov Cocktails, Brass Knuckles, Baseball Bat, AK47, Cursed Machete, Martini Glass with Tiny Umbrella
Health: Health: Head Cut
Big Macintosh
Items: Pony Gauntlets, Pony Armor, Armored Greaves, Bandana, Overpriced Souvenir, Straw Hat
Abilities: Apple Family Reunion (3 Turns: 2 Turn Cooldown)
Health: Fine
The Swedish Chef
Items: Knife, Viking Chestplate, Viking Helmet, Armored Boots, Spoon, Several Bowie Knives, TNT Sticks, Beer, Roland Deschain's Father's Guns, Dallas Cowboys Hat, Firebombs, Mayo (6 Jars),
Abilities: Summon Mr. Fox or Tom (Mr. Fox Available), Swedish FUS RO DAH (2 Turns: Ready!), Mayo Rush (Passive), Mayo Addiction (2 Turns: 2 Turns to Eat)
Health: Smashed Into Pavement
Simo Hayha
Items: Suomi 9mm SMG, Mosin Nagant Rifle, White Sniper Camouflage
Health: Fine
Elite Kingston S.W.A.T. Team
Items: MPSK Sub-machine Gats, Tactical Shotguns, Riot Shields, Tasers, Flashbangs, Smoke Grenades, 5 Pounds of Kush Herb
Health: Health: Sustained Casualties
Automated Turret
Items: Gatling Gat, Legs
Health: Fine
Dagoth Uthol: the Ash Vampire Who Isn't Allowed On Red Mountain After That One Party And Is Instead Confined To Kogoruhn, The Place We Used To Hang Out Way Back When But Don't Anymore
Items:
Health: Fine
Large Meatball Monster
Items: Meatball
Health: Fine
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337149 times)