Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[sonerohi]

Long, long ago, in a land far, far away, a story began. It began almost exactly like this.

Making this shit up as I go along.



You're a naked male adult human in the bush, with naught but a fire and a knife.

It is night.

What do you do?

And now we are here, after a lengthy series of events occurring in part I. This is part II. It will, hopefully, live up to its father. You see, its father died posing a question: Do we, Ozymandias, God of Caves, King of Kings, Master of menacing poses, and Potential Wizard, sail north with no followers, under the mercy of a pirate king and his crew that we just recently met? Or do we do our own shit? Currently, 100% of our 1 voters has said that we should sail north. I'd like a tad more input before I do anything, although if there is no further input I'll roll with it. You've got roughly a day to decide, or until I feel bored and update anyways.

Spoiler: Stuff (click to show/hide)

Yellow Cross: Previous Battles
Blue Cross: Grek Town
Red Cross: Current Position
[spoiler=Units]
((Format:
Name - Weapons* - Armor**

*Unless otherwise noted all the individual units in the squad are armed with the weapon.
** See Above.
))

The Heroes*
Ozymandias - 1H Dagger, 1H Axe - Blood Red Suit, Slouch Hat.
Grek - 2H Axe, 1H Sword, Shield - Chainmail
Robert - Cutlass, Pirate Lord Clothes

The Dwarfs
1 Dwarven Priest - 1 Axe
2 Dwarven Hunters - 1 Sword, 1 Crossbow
1 Dwarven Miners - 1 Picks
1 Dwarven Smith - 1 Axe
5 Dwarven Peasants - 3 Sword, 2 Axe

The Grek (Land)
50 Axemen - 1H Axe, Shield - Chainmail
50 Swordsmen - 1H Sword, Shield - Chainmail
50 Shield Maidens - 1H Sword, Shield - Chainmail
50 Berserkers - 25 2H Swords, 25 2H Axes - Chainmail

The Grek (Water)
50 Swimmers - 2 1H Bone Daggers Each
50 Water Berserkers - 2H Bone Swords

The Pirates
10 Scurvy Pirates - Cutlass
10 Marksman Pirates - Muskets, Cutlass

Vehicles
2 Longships - 175 Capacity Each.
1 Pirate Ship - 30 Capacity.

Special
1 Titan

Weapons:
2 Picks
1 Sword

Deceased:
3 Dwarf Peasants
2 Dwarf Miners
1 Dwarf Hunter

Ozymandias, who has done so much and conquered so many, is at his crossroads.

[Jervous]

Pretty sure we're going to do our own shit!

[Criptfeind]

Ah yes. Lets do our own shit.

[sonerohi]

"Screw pirates!" you think to yourself. You also shout it out loud, because that is how you think. You strike a pose though, so no one is offended. You are totally going to do your own shit, because you are the best. The question is, what is your own shit? What does an errant king and cave god do with their free time?

[Loud Whispers]

Spin around in circles, randomly declaring vengeance against all who would oppose your mighty spinning.

[Phantom of The Library]

"Screw pirates!" you think to yourself. You also shout it out loud, because that is how you think. You strike a pose though, so no one is offended. You are totally going to do your own shit, because you are the best. The question is, what is your own shit? What does an errant king and cave god do with their free time?

Spin around in circles, randomly declaring vengeance against all who would oppose your mighty spinning.

This and this.

Also begin making plans for a giant statue which will last for generations, and for heaven's sake make it weatherproof this time.

[Geen]

Spin around in circles, randomly declaring vengeance against all who would oppose your mighty spinning.

THIS. 1000 TIMES THIS.

[sonerohi]

My DM'ing will be merciless, fair warning. Update later tonight once I finish this stupid flubbing essay.

[sonerohi]

You are struck quite suddenly by what might be the best idea ever. You make a few quick sketches on the floor of yourself, rough ideas for the best statue made in ever. You make yourself dizzy spinning between all the people in the room, all the people being the Robert and five of his officers. "Build me this fucking statue you scurvy piss-minstrels! Or are you not man enough? Carve the stone before I carve your hide!". Spittle flies from your mouth while you scream a mixture of threat, order, and insult. Mayhaps you should have forged a stronger alliance with the pirates, because as the edges of your vision fade to red, you are suddenly aware that you haven't stopped spinning. You see a few teeth fly out and trail blood along the floor before you continue around to view Robert. His cutlass is out and the hilt is bloody, but you register the sight too slowly to act before you pass out.

You slowly wake up inside what you suppose is your own room, given that you haven't really had a chance to settle in. Robert sits near your bedside, and your priest is boiling something that smells absolutely horrible. Robert looks sorry, and his mouth opens a bit when he sees you awake, but you decide to respond to the situation before he can. Pray tell, what is this response?

[Armok]

Oooh! This is back!

> do our own excrement.

[Sinpwn]

>Roar indiscernibly and bolt outside.

[Loud Whispers]

>Locate trousers

[Phantom of The Library]

>*In a dapper British accent* "Sorry about that old chap, I have fits such as these occasionally, how about we make ammends over a spot of tea?"

[sonerohi]

Robert seems to struggle for words, but you give no fucks. First order of business: pants. After a diligent and exhaustive search, you find some on your legs. With that issue taken care of, you address Robert with your sophisticated business voice, "Terribly remiss for the display chap, such will happen. Fancy some conciliatory tea?". His expression declares both surprise and skepticism. He probably thinks you have a manner of concussion or something. He tentatively replies, "Sure... sure. So.. about the cave back there? Sorry". His apology is weak ass to start, but by the time the kettle boils he has launched into the meat of things. He thinks one of his officers is marshaling men for a mutiny, and the crew seems to chafe under the idea of allying with you. With the threats and such, he couldn't risk looking weak, so he backhanded you. Quite reasonable, if one is a pirate. He apologizes profusely and gazes around as an awkward silence sets in. He breaks the silence with an offer and an explanation: He'll still take you north, but this time with some of your followers, given that his standing amongst the pirates was solidified by the scuffle. Should you decline, he'll take some time to scour his ranks for the mutineers, and would appreciate help. But, a third option yet exists: Fuck this, I'm the cave god and I'll do what I want. What do?

(Can't ASCII draw to play nice, so I'm doing art for this by hand. Expect absolute shit with the occasional turd pearl).

[Emperor_Jonathan]

Like I told some random in a thread the other day, i got the pictures by using alt+printscrn then pasting that into paint.net, cropping it to the desired size and then saving the image and uploading it to tinypic.com