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[Canalan]

I have never broken a bone.  I've dislocated a couple, but that doesn't count.

No, my crowning moment of idiocy came when I was ten or so.  See, it had been raining, and my parents were the kind to hook up computers to like three chained surge protectors and still not allow them on during anything that even looked like weather.  So I was bored.  While I waited for the earth to dry, I went over to my friend's house.  She lived next door.  Now we were bored together, because her parents were like mine.  So we decided to have some wholesome outdoor activities.  She got a little stuffed bear, and I got the matches.

Well, she dropped the bear in a puddle, so matches just didn't cut it.  I got the bright idea to get some spray paint, because I knew it would function much like a blow torch and cremate the bear in no time at all.  Actually, water based paint doesn't really do that, so all I did was paint the bear black.  It was time to get out the big guns.  Gasoline.

We had a gallon jug of gas in the garage, so I sneaked over and borrowed it.  We doused the bear in gasoline and held a match to it.  However, the bear was still too wet to burn, so all we did was ignite the small lake of gas below the bear (mounted on a tiki torch).  We put that right out, and pondered what to do next.  We eventually decided to wait for the bear to dry, and in the meantime, prepare for the immolation.

I decided that the gasoline needed to be in cups to prevent the can from exploding, so we got some cups.  Styrofoam cups.  Before we filled them, we decided that the bear was dry enough.  I picked up a cup and lit a match while my friend poured the gas into the cup in my hand.  Did you know that, when brought into contact with gasoline, styrofoam melts?  And when it melts, it mixes with the gasoline, becoming primitive napalm?  I sure didn't.  I lit up like a heretic in the Spanish Inquisition.  I threw the flaming jelly in my hand at the bear, missed, and hit a tree.  This tree was very very wet, so the napalm burned out before it could be visibly harmed.  So good for the tree.

I was not so lucky.  Most of the napalm had fell onto my shoe before ignition, so my friend tore it off and threw it at the bear, hit it, and lit the torch on fire.  My hand, however, received second degree burns in the process of me screaming at things and failing to put it out as soon as possible.  The bear wasn't even singed.

[Flying Dice]

Ah, fire. It wasn't especially dangerous, but I do recall one occasion where I and a few friends decided to have some fun with illegal fireworks, tennis balls, and lighter fluid. After a few minutes, a small section of their lawn was smoldering, covered in scraps of paper, a flaming tennis ball, and a half-melted plastic tractor. Being the cautious child I was, I decided that we should put it out. I went into the house and grabbed the first glass I saw, half-full of clear liquid, from a work table, went outside, and poured it on the fire. Suffice to say, it was not water.



Another, from about 1.5-two years ago: My father and I were in the process of reroofing our porch. We had to tear up the shitty sheet shingles on top, saw up and tear out the original metal roofing, and remove and replace the rotted wood. There was one part of the roof that was tricky, in that it was deep under an overhang, and the house power line ran over it, about 4 inches from the surface of the roof. The only way to reach it was to stand on the second to the top rung of a ladder balanced against our rather loose gutter. While using a saw with a metal-cutting blade. With that same blade four inches from a power line. At the tail end of five hours working on a roof in 105 degree weather. Yeah, I'm still surprised we managed to finish that without any serious injuries.

[Hubris Incalculable]

I dun't remember how old i was, but my dad got a set of weights and a bar. so he cobbles himself up a bench out of wood and nails. One day, I'm in the garage, and there it is, already loaded up with bar and weights. i decide that i will sit on the bar, but not on the middle, on the ends. the thing overbalances, and, as i put my hand on the bench to push and jump away, SMASH, the weight drops on my right pinkie, splitting the skin and crushing the bone. I spent the next 20 minutes with my finger wrapped in toilet paper, before going to a doctor's office to get it stitched.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I learned how to cook grilled cheese sandwiches for myself when I was six years old. Eventually, my mother felt comfortable enough with my aptitude to allow me to do this at will and unsupervised.

And that was when I somehow managed to get my hand between the frying pan and the oven eye. When the latter was red-hot.

I remember an extreme amount of pain and jumping a decent portion of the room. Surprisingly, I have no permanent marks on my skin from this. Unsurprisingly, my mother became paranoid and didn't let me cook for years afterwards.
I once tripped over a root on a New Mexico mountain....and fell onto a dead mouse. If you know anything about the region, you know that New Mexican mice can carry Bubonic Plague. I walked miles holding my arms as far away from my face as possible. Didn't catch the plague.
A friend of mine in kindergarten and I started a contest of who would jump off of the tallest object. Our playground at the time was the tallest thing we could get on top of without people questioning it, so that was where we held it. After a week or two of 1-uping each other, there was only one spot left, and my friend was in the lead. That spot was the top of one of the support pillars next to the big tunnel slide on our playground. This spot was significantly higher, or at least I remember it to be, than the second-highest spot. It's been years since then, but accounting for my relative size I might say that it was an eight-to-ten-foot drop. Maybe. It looked gargantuan to a kindergartener, regardless.  My friend and I were always iffy about raising the stakes to this drop, and I knew he wouldn't have the bravado to match my mark if I jumped from it.

And so one day I worked up my courage and climbed atop the pillar (which had a rounded top). And I looked down at the drop and wondered if this wouldn't snap my leg bones in half. And eventually I decided that this wasn't a worthwhile endeavor. So I decided I was going to climb back onto the platform and concede defeat....if not for the sudden gust of wind that knocked me off of it. I somehow managed to land on my feet and not break anything. My friend never learned the truth of my intentions and conceded defeat, thinking I was a very badass kindergartener forevermore.

[ChairmanPoo]

I thought it was fun to drive a bike at full speed down a ramp when I was 12. The wheel turned sideways, and I flew due to the laws of inertia, landing on my left wrist and getting a Colles fracture

[Tellemurius]

I thought it was fun to drive a bike at full speed down a ramp when I was 12. The wheel turned sideways, and I flew due to the laws of inertia, landing on my left wrist and getting a Colles fracture

i did some like that, did a forward flip and dented my skull, concussion for the week.

[Cthulhu]

When I was in first grade I was sitting on a bus, wearing sweatpants with a drawstring.  The drawstring had a heavy plastic bead on the end for adjusting the waistband.  I pulled it back as far as it went and let go.

And that's why there are no baby cfoofoos.


My family had a bacon cooker.  It was basically a big rectangular heating plate with a second flat plate to press the bacon.  In tandem stupidity, my brother left it on and I absentmindedly set a twelve pack of Coke on it.

A few minutes later we hear a sound like a gun going off, following by splashing and fizzing.  Two or three of the cans had simultaneously blown open, spraying pop everywhere.

[Loud Whispers]

I thought it was fun to drive a bike at full speed down a ramp when I was 12. The wheel turned sideways, and I flew due to the laws of inertia, landing on my left wrist and getting a Colles fracture

i did some like that, did a forward flip and dented my skull, concussion for the week.

What with my lovely pain threshold (it's really a curse)...

Well, bottom line is I had a concussion. I didn't notice anything wrong (just assumed some incredibly bad head ache), dizziness and a whole lot of otherworldly mind rape. I spend the next 3 hours not caring, and then start walking home - you'd think alarm bells would ring when your vision starts blacking out, but no D:

I only noticed something was wrong when it was too painful to stand :d

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's a good thing you noticed before going to sleep, since you are near-certain to die if you sleep with an untreated concussion.

[ChairmanPoo]

It's a myth.

[Loud Whispers]

It's a myth.

I'd say if you have a haemorRHAEGE and you go to sleep, you're not waking up :d

[Stargrasper]

It's a good thing you noticed before going to sleep, since you are near-certain to die if you sleep with an untreated concussion.

You do realize the traditional and still most common treatment for a concussion is no treatment at all, don't you?

It's a myth.

I'd say if you have a haemorRHAEGE and you go to sleep, you're not waking up :d

That's not a concussion.  That's an entirely different injury class.

[Loud Whispers]

It's a good thing you noticed before going to sleep, since you are near-certain to die if you sleep with an untreated concussion.

You do realize the traditional and still most common treatment for a concussion is no treatment at all, don't you?

It's a myth.

I'd say if you have a haemorRHAEGE and you go to sleep, you're not waking up :d

That's not a concussion.  That's an entirely different injury class.

Super concussion. Knocks your socks off. (And your brain )

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's a good thing you noticed before going to sleep, since you are near-certain to die if you sleep with an untreated concussion.

You do realize the traditional and still most common treatment for a concussion is no treatment at all, don't you?

Considering that I've never had a concussion, never known anyone with a concussion, and am not a doctor (As established in my tuberculosis thread), no.

It's a myth.

I'd say if you have a haemorRHAEGE and you go to sleep, you're not waking up :d

No, he's right. Apparently waking someone who has a concussion every couple of hours used to be done in order to ensure that they haven't slipped into a coma, which is outwardly identical to normal sleep.

[ChairmanPoo]

A concussion doesn't necessarily involve a hemorrhage. In fact, most times it doesn't.

If you do have a hemorraghe and it remains untreated, regardless of whether you go to sleep or not, you might be in trouble.  But that's a different ball.

Having no symptoms initially and then beggining to black out after a couple of hours is very typical of epidural hemorragues, for the record. (Subdurals are very simmilar, only it can take days for symptoms to mannifest)