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[King DZA]

Yup, but I don't think we'd get past that bit.  We don't exactly present the best image as a species.
EDIT: I DO NOT MEAN BAY12.  I mean humans and nations and etc. do not present the best possible image of humanity.  The sheer flammability of this post struck me as I posted it.

Any scientifically minded alien species would not immediately condemn us as a species because of international conflicts. If they're as intelligent as we are, it stands to reason they'd had some scuffles amongst themselves as well. I'm getting the impression you think only humans kill their own - guess what, chimpanzees? They totally murder the fuck out of other chimpanzee tribes, too. Violence is not simply a question of "good and evil", nature and evolution come in to it a fair bit. And politics have muddled it by a stretch as well.

Aaah, but knowing mankind, the first people to meet said aliens would prolly be total morons.

Also, what about aquatic mammals? And who says that the aliens would be anything like Earth-like creatures? I for one am voting for aliens made out of nitroglycerin ;P

And technically... we could just try to out-bouse them, they can travel stars, and we have lasers that can apparently tear the fabric of space.

Also, do we really want DF minded aliens? YESH WE DO.

What are you basing that statement on, exactly? If aliens DID come to visit us, they wouldn't land in the ass-end of southern North America and beam up Bubba Joe, who's just on his way to go bone his cousin. They'd look for a large settlement, which tends to be where smart folks live.

The fish was just an example. The point is, the animal would be scared, and would be trying to GTFO as soon as the alien came near it. Humans (and possibly some of the higher primates) would be wary, but inquisitive.

Try to keep in mind this won't be Independence Day. We're not going to launch a missile into just the right spot to bring the entire ship down, and we're not going to hack into their computers with a Macintosh (I dare say the OS' wouldn't be compatible). We've been to the moon, and we've sent some unmanned machines to near planets. These aliens are advanced enough to find us from incredible distances away - it won't be a case of rockets vs. lasers, it'll be a case of spoon versus hydrogen bomb. (We're the guy with the spoon. The aliens have the hydrogen bomb. A metaphorical hydrogen bomb, that is, it's a comparison.)

The likelihood of a hypothetical alien species being able to comprehend an entirely foreign communication structure and set of language patterns is small enough to make the possibility of their comprehension of a human computer game next to, um, 0.

This is if we even resemble life as they see it. We are only a conglomeration of (mostly) carbon, oxygen and hydrogen. To be blunt, first contact with a highly advanced alien species would probably involve them stripping our planet of valuable resources and leaving us to die horrible deaths (or processed into constituent elements for further use), or disinterest with the small chance of a few specimens being collected for examination, if they pay attention to us at all.

Let's assume, for a second, that these aliens aren't sentient clouds of plutonium, and that they don't communicate by directly telepathing their thoughts into their fellows' minds. I know it's unlikely (near damn impossible, in fact) that they'll be ANYTHING like us, but we won't know until we see them anyway.

Why, WHY, would a scientifically minded species immediately destroy millions (billions, probably, if we're counting insects) of alien species upon finding it? If they're looking for us, it's for the same reason we're looking for THEM - they want to know if they're alone in this universe or not. Ruling out the possibility of them being carbon copies of those Cricket guys from Hitchhiker's, they probably won't be omnicidal maniacs that can't stomach the thought of life existing outside of their own cosy little ball of rock.

Easily one of the best things I've read all day. People assuming that aliens are a bunch of sociopathic, hyper advanced beings who just cruise around the universe looking for resources to steal and lifeforms to experiment on gets really annoying.

It's also annoying that everyone assumes they will be cold and purely logical robot-like creatures, despite the fact that having a large range of emotions is a sign of intelligence.

[Loud Whispers]

I love how there's actual discussion about alien lifeforms in this thread, and also some chuckleheads who can't seem to conceive of anyone doing anything more complicated than they can.

Good fuckin' show.

And they say only the English get irony and sarcasm... Or maybe it just doesn't translate well on the internet 

1. That is not what irony means, God damn it.

2. Not "getting" sarcasm doesn't apply on the internet. Sarcasm is alluded to by tone of voice, facial expression, and a few other thing. The second thing you said is almost true - it's not that it doesn't translate well on the internet, it's that it doesn't, unless you're being completely obvious about it. Allow me to demonstrate:

Yeah, of course I don't understand sarcasm! Also, your use of the word "irony" [lol] was sooooo totally right there.

I'm sorry I had to clarify, but to whom were you addressing? ERM YES a lot of people in this thread, and to whom do you think I was addressing? We have a winrar!

'Sides, who judges by stereotypes, if they were true, the world would truly be a scary place;]
Yup.

[Mister Always]

Thanks. I spend a lot of time thinking about things like that - I'm an aspiring sci-fi author (well, "futuristic fantasy" would probably be a better term for what I'm writing right now), and although it's admittedly very soft on the physics/mathematics side of things (math makes my wordy brain go "ow no stop that what are you doing"), I like anthropology and find science pretty interesting, so that shows a lot. Thinking about how alien cultures would interact, et cetera.

Aliens finding us and turning out to be total jerkwads who want to kill us all for no easily graspable reason (War Of The Worlds, Independence Day, probably a shitload of other examples) makes for good action movies, but let's face it, it's total bullshit. "Alien" is excused here, because from what I remember, the xenomorphs weren't exactly at a "conquering the universe" scale themselves - they were more like animals.

I love how there's actual discussion about alien lifeforms in this thread, and also some chuckleheads who can't seem to conceive of anyone doing anything more complicated than they can.

Good fuckin' show.

And they say only the English get irony and sarcasm... Or maybe it just doesn't translate well on the internet 

1. That is not what irony means, God damn it.

2. Not "getting" sarcasm doesn't apply on the internet. Sarcasm is alluded to by tone of voice, facial expression, and a few other thing. The second thing you said is almost true - it's not that it doesn't translate well on the internet, it's that it doesn't, unless you're being completely obvious about it. Allow me to demonstrate:

Yeah, of course I don't understand sarcasm! Also, your use of the word "irony" [lol] was sooooo totally right there.

I'm sorry I had to clarify, but to whom were you addressing? ERM YES a lot of people in this thread, and to whom do you think I was addressing? We have a winrar!

'Sides, who judges by stereotypes, if they were true, the world would truly be a scary place;]
Yup.

...you sure you quoted the right post there? I can't see any way that anything you typed up there has any relation to my post.

(Also, "winrar"? Seriously? It's 2011, I'm pretty sure I haven't heard anyone say "winrar" for years.)

[DrGravitas]

The likelihood of a hypothetical alien species being able to comprehend an entirely foreign communication structure and set of language patterns is small enough to make the possibility of their comprehension of a human computer game next to, um, 0.

This is if we even resemble life as they see it. We are only a conglomeration of (mostly) carbon, oxygen and hydrogen. To be blunt, first contact with a highly advanced alien species would probably involve them stripping our planet of valuable resources and leaving us to die horrible deaths (or processed into constituent elements for further use), or disinterest with the small chance of a few specimens being collected for examination, if they pay attention to us at all.

I find it doubtful that something capable of traveling so far would just go straight to stripping the 3rd planet from the sun. Earth has an interesting ratio of elements, but there's plenty of the same stuff strewn about the solar system.

The distance that must be traveled is extremely vast. Even at the tiniest trickle of resource consumption (necessary to repair and maintain systems during travel) the quantities needed preclude storage or simply stripping a couple planets every so often. It'd be like an ant crossing the Sahara desert and hoping to get by on tearing up oasis trees along the way. Just to get here, they'd have to have a means to convert the minuscule amounts of simple atoms, that pervade the near-vacuum of space, into whatever material they need to sustain their travel. Stripping Earth would be pointless if you could Strip Jupiter (317x the mass of Earth) and convert it into whatever you need. Or, more likely, consuming the sun. But then they'd have to move all that mass, too. Traveling about, to strip some resources just doesn't make sense on these scales.

[Loud Whispers]

Thanks. I spend a lot of time thinking about things like that - I'm an aspiring sci-fi author (well, "futuristic fantasy" would probably be a better term for what I'm writing right now), and although it's admittedly very soft on the physics/mathematics side of things (math makes my wordy brain go "ow no stop that what are you doing"), I like anthropology and find science pretty interesting, so that shows a lot. Thinking about how alien cultures would interact, et cetera.

Aliens finding us and turning out to be total jerkwads who want to kill us all for no easily graspable reason (War Of The Worlds, Independence Day, probably a shitload of other examples) makes for good action movies, but let's face it, it's total bullshit. "Alien" is excused here, because from what I remember, the xenomorphs weren't exactly at a "conquering the universe" scale themselves - they were more like animals.

Well, accidentally stumbling upon humans and taking advantage of a new food source makes sense in many ways - it shows they follow the same laws of nature we do, and more often then not, the predator usually has to be smarter than the prey.

[Mister Always]

Thanks. I spend a lot of time thinking about things like that - I'm an aspiring sci-fi author (well, "futuristic fantasy" would probably be a better term for what I'm writing right now), and although it's admittedly very soft on the physics/mathematics side of things (math makes my wordy brain go "ow no stop that what are you doing"), I like anthropology and find science pretty interesting, so that shows a lot. Thinking about how alien cultures would interact, et cetera.

Aliens finding us and turning out to be total jerkwads who want to kill us all for no easily graspable reason (War Of The Worlds, Independence Day, probably a shitload of other examples) makes for good action movies, but let's face it, it's total bullshit. "Alien" is excused here, because from what I remember, the xenomorphs weren't exactly at a "conquering the universe" scale themselves - they were more like animals.

Well, accidentally stumbling upon humans and taking advantage of a new food source makes sense in many ways - it shows they follow the same laws of nature we do, and more often then not, the predator usually has to be smarter than the prey.

I dare say we'd have a bit more to offer them than just a midnight snack. And if they're going to eradicate an entire species just because they've been smoking some space weed and have a serious case of the interstellar munchies, then they weren't that smart in the first place. Consider that, if this was a scout ship, it'd have some of the species' best and brightest on the ship - astronauts, physicists, something along those lines. If the aliens' b-'n-b's are unable to conceive of a better use of an entire biosphere than eating them, they're not smart. Advances, yes, but not smart.

[Loud Whispers]

Exactly;P

Well, except for the whole interstellar weed thing. I was thinking more along the lines of "intelligent predator that just wants to eat stuff"

You know, something called survival, which severely lacks in DF:P

[melphel]

What if dorfs ARE ALIENS?  Like they were here in the past and have since atomsmashed all the world's dragons and elves, and then they took off in magma powered saucers?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Loud Whispers]

Seconded.

[ASCIt]

Actually, if there is life on other planets, their appearance(s) would be largely based on evolution, which would in turn be entirely influenced by their environment(s). Ergo, there may be a group of life forms exactly the same, genetically speaking, as humans. Actually, according to several laws, there should be an infinite number of planets in the universe that are similar to ours, in the sense that they can/could/ and do/did/will harbor life that evolved/will evolve in a way akin to us. However, the reverse is also true, in the sense that species may evolve in a completely different direction from us. In short, the only way to predict how an encounter would turn out would be to assume that anything can happen -
We could hit it off, we could offend the hell out of them, or we could reach a communicational impasse.

[Loud Whispers]

Actually, if there is life on other planets, their appearance(s) would be largely based on evolution, which would in turn be entirely influenced by their environment(s). Ergo, there may be a group of life forms exactly the same, genetically speaking, as humans. Actually, according to several laws, there should be an infinite number of planets in the universe that are similar to ours, in the sense that they can/could/ and do/did/will harbor life that evolved/will evolve in a way akin to us. However, the reverse is also true, in the sense that species may evolve in a completely different direction from us. In short, the only way to predict how an encounter would turn out would be to assume that anything can happen -
We could hit it off, we could offend the hell out of them, or we could reach a communicational impasse.

But only a finite amount exist which we can reach, and the inverse would also be true.

Unless we kinda mess around with quantum physics a bit....

[Mister Always]

If that species is managing to survive - and thrive, considering they've lasted long enough to get to the interstellar travel stage of societal advancement - on its own planet, it wouldn't need to travel through several solar systems just to find something new to snack on.

If suddenly, all the livestock on Earth died due to, let's say...hell, I don't know, some really terribly bad disease that for some reason only wipes out cows, chickens, pigs, etc. (don't think too hard about it, it's just a hypothetical disaster scenario), which do you think is more likely - that we'd look for another source of meat (humans are omnivores - we can survive without meat, as the vegans have proven, but it takes a very carefully balanced diet [which I have no intention of trying, on account of how I fuckin' looove chicken]) within our own planet ("Elephant steaks, anyone?"), or that we'd take pains to build a massively advanced space ship to go trawl through space, on the slim hope that there's a big, yummy animal that tastes like porkchops wandering around on a planet somewhere? And even then, we'd have to hope we'd even be able to digest it, or that it'd nourish us at all.

We are omnivores, so we eat both meat and plants, and we are capable of sustaining ourselves without meat (but, as I have said, chicken is delicious, so fuck that). Now, let's suppose the aliens are carnivores. They only eat meat, and as humanity has proven, breeding your own meat in the form of domesticated livestock is a lot easier than going out with a bow and arrow every day to shoot a rabbit (although which is more fun...that's your own opinion). They'd know the chances of finding a species out there that they'd be able to sustain on their planet (also super unlikely) and that would nourish them in the ways they need are slim to none. They'd begin by looking for an answer within their own planet.

Or they'd die out. That's also plausible.

What if dorfs ARE ALIENS?  Like they were here in the past and have since atomsmashed all the world's dragons and elves, and then they took off in magma powered saucers?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...

Sorry, I'm trying to think of an expletive that properly reflects how much I hate you. I'll be a while.

[Loud Whispers]

...Or just have an intelligent alien predator, void of all other impulses beyond Freudian, which upon somehow making it to good 'ol Earth, finds the largest source of meat on Earth, and so begins hunting.

That's the most likely apocalyptic alien scenario, presuming said alien would be intelligent enough to survive. After all, an invasive specie would only need to decimate the eco system (more than we have) to destroy humanity D:

[Mister Always]

...Or just have an intelligent alien predator, void of all other impulses beyond Freudian, which upon somehow making it to good 'ol Earth, finds the largest source of meat on Earth, and so begins hunting.

That's the most likely apocalyptic alien scenario, presuming said alien would be intelligent enough to survive. After all, an invasive specie would only need to decimate the eco system (more than we have) to destroy humanity D:

Exactly one alien predator?

Get me a redneck with reasonable aiming skills and a gun. There, that's your alien problem solved. Stuff it, mount it, put it in a museum.

Also, you meant "void of scientific interest" there, right? And also void of any desire to establish that its species is not the only one in the universe?

[Loud Whispers]

Well, unless this was an alien of godzilla proportions, I don't think we'd have a problem if it was on it's own. And I was referring to it as a species, and no, "void of scientific interest" kinda gets superseded by "all other impulses other than Freudian".

So in Laymen terms, this alien would only be driven by the desire to procure strong, healthy and more adapted (to it's respective environment) offspring, and base survival instincts.


So no, it knows (assuming it is in fact intelligent) it is not the only species in the universe (it's a carnivore, not a cannibal;P), it just doesn't care. It's all about the furthering of it's species propagation, which would also explain why it would seek other planets to colonise.