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Author Topic: Icemachines, saving the world from starvation [SUCCESSION_FORT][NEED_OVERSEERS]  (Read 34024 times)

Mitchewawa

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Third log as overseer, Paladin Mitch, Chaplain of Icemachines.
Date? Fucked if I know, too busy dragging bodies of the fallen out of a ditch.


I woke up to the sound of an ear piercing howl. I wake up to see Arzun kicking my door down (and I detected that he did so out of spite and not urgency) and screaming at my face! I was sober at the time so it took me a while to register the words coming out of his gaping maw, "Blarghthfgh HELP hgsgfhgh BEAST drhgeht-"

I stood up to attention and took a swig of my beerskin, "Ah, my head is much clearer. Now what is it you were saying?" I calmly replied as he flailed his arms around.

"A forgotten beast made it through! Sphala didn't think it would and now it's in the base!"

I stormed out the door, him tailing my large strides with nervous running. I ordered the guards to my side and we ran to the cavern door. Hatebeard took the lead, and turned to me before opening the door. I nodded and cheerfully said, "After this how 'bout a round next to the arena I'm going to make?"

We sprawled out of the tight doorway to the sound of the disturbance. What we saw shocked us.



It seems the cave-fish-people beat us to it. The forgotten beast was shredded by their crude weapons; they hadn't even taken a single injury. We looked amongst each other with confusion, before slowly backing out. Those things could defeat a demon-spawned  forgotten beast, there's no way I'll risk a dwarf to those heathenistic fish things.

On our way back a dwarf came up to me holding some stupid earring. On it was some stupid image about some stupid shit. I was not in the mood to care about his mood. Now I had to fix my door... But he blocked my path and shoved the trinket in my face again. "Yes yes, it's very nice. I've got work to do-"

"It is isn't it? I'm blessed by the gods!"

A look of intrigue spread across my face, not because of this artifact but because of a wave of faces I hadn't seen before.



They neatly arranged themselves into a line and told the bookeeper their name and profession. I stood by and watched; we needed more miners. Most of the newbies were useless but one caught my attention; Zefron Soardpainted. A handsome fellow; and a useful one at that. An expert of marksdwarfery! I greeted him and told him of our lack of a ranged military force. I didn't plan on immediately drafting him, but I told him it was a possibility in the future. First I had to be ready to equip them. Which reminded me; one of Sphala's notes said something about under-equipped soldiers. Just as I took note of this a dwarf told me we had run out of strands.

I was about to address the issue when I heard the sound of a horn. Just as the last of the immigrants came in I heard screaming and yelling.

"Goblin siege!"



I gritted my teeth. I had ten problems at once, I did not have time for this. Atleast it gave me a chance to test out the new Icemachine. I had been studying it for quite some time and had to admit; it certainly was a marvel of dwarven engineering.

Now dear diary, I hate Felsite. Fell is such an evil word. And from this day forward I will hate it even more.

There was easily 50 enemies above; trolls, hordes of archers and master level goblins swarmed the snow ridden landscape.



I did not like the amout of trolls that came bearing down on us. I had the access switch turned off, and heard the clunking of dwarven mechanics. But the green vultures above still ran toward our UNLOCKED main entrance. Just as a couple of dwarves came up to make out in the trade depot:


Luckily I ordered the door locked and the outer bridge raised. Now a couple of trolls were trying to brake the doors down and the others had thankfully diverted to the Icemachine. I sent a squad of dwarves up top to prepare for when the trolls broke through.

I waited for the swarm to enter the trap. Every single one did!



I turned and bellowed, "Now! Pull it now!"

But we were too slow. The positioning of the levers away from the meeting areas of idle dwarves meant that it was quite a trip until anyone could pull the lever. Some of the enemy got past the trap, but around three quarters suffered the wrath of the gods.



The remaining squad was mostly goblin archers, so I ordered all of our squads to meet outside of the door that locked them in. When all were ready; 'Wes' lead the charge.



It was a quagmire that I pray every day to retry. Wes and another dwarf were injured, Wes more so. I don't know if Wes will recover, but the other dwarf has.

All my comrades were cheering but I took it as a bittersweet victory. If only I had been quicker with my order to pull the lever maybe we would have gotten all of them and Wes would not have been injured.

I retreated to my room to plan my next course of action before another dwarf interrupted me with his turd earring.


I told him the get out, I had to think. He told me in his excitement that it distracted everybody from the new beast that invaded! I simply sighed and sent him on his way. I did not feel like smiting him that day.


I decided to drink myself to sleep before I was interrupted by two ingrates nobles (at least this time Arzun didn't break my door.) One spouting something about needing low boots for the army. I agreed and sent the order for two adamantine low boots. He skipped happily out of my room and left me in peace. Arzun solemnly turned to me and spoke softly.

"We both know these are hard times. Even the defenders of this place are feeling the pressure; Peregar's 'streak' was a one time thing and I apologise on his behalf. Wes has taken injuries to his leg, which even though we won the day against a vast army I know you are feeling forlorn about.


Despite his injury he is as we speak training with his comrades, trying to relieve you of your guilt. Now, the matter of the highest importance; we need 3 splints. I know we don't  have wood, but make it happen. Chop chop."

He continued talking my ear off and I started slipping in and out of conscience but from what I gathered he wanted a few things. A new stockpile, engravings in his room and for the army to be better equipped.

When I woke up again in an hour he was still nagging, "...and I wan't that engraving removed from your chambers! It is insulting and I will not suffer it!"

I sat up and looked toward his pointing finger. Then I burst out laughing.



"Arzun! I didn't know you wept! Perhaps you could go to the kitchen and fashion me up a plump helmet roast after you clean the blood out of the trap!"

He went red in the face. I recalled his previous orders and remembered a couple of things I had forgotten to mention in previously; I had indeed made a new stockpile. For everything. There was an oddly large amount of tombs, four if I recall correctly. I know it's disrespect to the dead, but they'll understand it's for the good of the fortress when I tell them I used all the unused tombspace for the new stockpiles. I had also previously ordered fifteen of every armour in adamantine available;

Except adamantine shields because they are as effective as other shields but are less useful for bashing in the skulls of heretics.
The soldiers were in uproar about abandoning the clothes they were used to.


Now I don't know why he was asking me to engrave his place; it was already fully engraved. Perhaps the insanity of nobility was getting to him. Maybe that's why he asked me to make a tin throne for his tomb (I assume he want's his remains to be placed on it in a kingly position instead of in his coffin), and maybe why he ordered three splints for Wes instead of letting us use the many we had remaining.

He stormed out of my chambers. I should read these engravings more often. One caught my attention; I believe I had seen it somewhere before...


...a homage to a picture of cheese. It sounds familiar.

I spent some more time fishing. I took a liking to one of the new immigrants; another fisherman. Goes by the strange name of Nimote. Nice guy, I'd be interested in him if he wasn't already married to another immigrant.




Celebration next episode! +10 dwarfbucks to whoever gets the cheese reference!

Logged
Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Roboboy33

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Nimote's personal diary.
Felsite
-------------------------
     Dear diary, I had just arrived in Icemachines when I was urged to get inside to safety, I was so scared for my wife and child that I dropped my fishing rod! I've had that rod for for years! I even payed for it to be encrusted with Chryscollas! Oh I hope the trolls don't break it!

    Oh diary, I can't explain how sad I am that the trolls broke my fishing rods. Luckily a nice fisherdwarf  by the name of "Mitch" had shared one of hers, I also saw a dwarf who was being carried to the hospital, it looked like his legs were snapped in two! I've also sent a request for a private qauters for me and my family to live in together.
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▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE CATS

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

The Master

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the cheese reference is to boatmurdered!
AND WHERE ARE MY THREE ARMOK-DAMNED SPLINTS THAT ARZUN PROMISED ME?!
Logged
Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

peregarrett

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wow! I think that party was real shock, I don't remember where I lost my clothing... But that's NOT the reason to punch me! Maybe I was doing my morning training, and took my cloth off so it won't restrain my mighty breath!
Icemachine is working almost perfectly, goblin siege was destroyed completely. I think I should go afterparty...
Logged
Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.

The Master

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I think I should go afterparty...
*Grabs Peregar* YOU LISTEN SOLDIER, AND YOU LISTEN GOOD! IF YOU EVER, AND I MEAN EVER, STREAK AGAIN IN THIS FORTRESS, I'LL HURL YOU, AND YOUR SQUAD INTO THE ICEMACHINE! THEN, I'LL DIVE INTO THE MAGMA SEA, SWALLOW A MOUTHFULL OF LAVA, AND VOMIT IT ALL OVER, WHILE YOUR STILL IN THE ICEMACHINE... *the rant continues long after Peregar falls asleep from boredom*
Logged
Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

Mitchewawa

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Special note: Don't mess with Arzun again. He'll weep on me.

PS. I bought nearly 1000 dwarfbucks of wood to make into your splints. I hope you enjoy!

PPS. You have an infection. Woops.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2011, 01:01:56 am by Mitchewawa »
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

The Master

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PPS. You have an infection. Woops.
Wes Caesar cancels rant; went insane.
Wes Caesar has gone berserk!
Logged
Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

Mitchewawa

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Fourth log as overseer, Paladin Mitch, Chaplian of Icemachines
Mid Winter


I visited Wes in hospital today. Well, not really hospital. It seems because of an oversight of the previous overseers the hospital had no tables or traction benches to preform surgery on. So Wes just trained as usual. I asked the Medical Chief if he'll life to fight again; it seems he has an infection. Few survive infections you see; especially when we don't have soap. While soap is out of my hand (you need a lot of micromanagement and trees which I do not have), I have manufactured the three splints Arzun requested. How did I do that you ask, diary? No, you don't ask. Because you are a book. But the answer is because I traded 1000 credits worth of crafts to the humans in exchange for wood. Lots of it. I even had to expand the wood stockpile and even then I could only take half of it.

PS. Goblin ambush, two squads. No casualties but a recruit was injured. Infection. Ugh...



The rest will remain in the depot, perhaps holding bugs and caterpillars which to scare teenage dwarves away. Seriously, during the last siege I saved them by the hair on their hormone ridden beards. If they want a dangerous place to make out other than next to a troll breaking down the door, they can hang out in the Icemachine.

Remember when I said I didn't take note of the date last entry because of hauling bodies? Yeah, I didn't say goblins to sound foreboding. I did have to haul a lot of bodies to the refuse pile. Another oversight of the previous rulers was that the refuse pile was rotting. Why? Because they didn't put a hole in the top! I fixed that. Walled around the hole up top too. While I was there I made an above ground farm on the inside, with a hole at the top. Unfortunately there are no seeds that will grow on that farm, so future overseers can tear it down and use it as a second corpse pile.



OH! And I forgot to mention back in diary entry one; I halted production of ALL golden barrels. Gold doesn't grow on trees, wood does. But I didn't use wood either. I used stone; it seems as though the previous overseers hated the notion of using common stone to make pots in which to store our... liquids...



Mysterious substances aside, rock pots are the way to go from now on.

Arzun, Atrid bless his misguided heart, as told me our metalsmithing operation is underpowered. Now I know I have done a good job with the expansion of the ONE smelter and forge to three (I cannot understate the sheer oversight of the previous rulers for having only one), but I knew he would try to kick my door down again if it didn't look like I did something. So i ordered all non adamantine armour and weapons to be melted down (save for wood choppers, picks, bolts and crossbows). I feel this will keep the metalsmiths busy while I build a third craftdwarf shop (again, cannot understate the lack of industry workshops) in order to synthesise more adamantine threads. Previously, there was two. One for strands and one for nothing it seems.

I have changed all of these; one shall be for threads (it is located next to the wood stockpile in the adamantine stockpile), one for rock pots on repeat (located on the right side of the area I call 'Twin Spheres' and have placed a note on for future overseers). The other for bone crafting, stone crafting, bone bolts (for training) and any miscellaneous (surprised I spelt that right first try) nuances the next people may wish.

I, against all advice and common sense, mined out more adamantine. Our stocks were running low. Thankfully none of abominations against Atrid were unleashed.


Lastly, the dwarven liason arrived today. I sent troops up with the caravan in case of an ambush like what happened to the humans, but nothing.



First thing he tells me, "Uhh, Paladin Mitch? Yeah, the mountain homes are happy with your work. Your donations of food have helped fuel the replanting of the farms, but there is still a lot more to go. We are...




The person also passed a note to me. Sealed with the official seal of the court, no less. I ordered a large supply of wood and booze for next year before sending him on his way. I returned to my quaters before opening the letter in secret. As I passed the statue garden a dwarf saw what was in my hand and stopped me. "What's that you have in your hand, friend? I looks important."

I ignored him and briskly strided to my bed (I don't have an office, I don't see why Arzun gets his weeping troll-leather thong in a twist about my living arrangements).

'Mitch. You have been doing well, but I'm afraid we need you to step down as overseer. There as been a political shift and the positions of power have changed. Do not question us; pass on the role of overseer as soon as it is spring.'

I stared in disbelief. I could not believe it. I threw the letter to the ground in disgust and stormed out of my chambers. I barged past the greeting dwarves in the statue garden outside my bedroom. I just ran. I ran past the training militia. I ran through the corridors, tailed by concerned guards. I tackled a miner and took his pick. And I just ran. I ran into the adamantine shaft, pick in hand. I pounded on the walls with my fist.

"I know you had a hand in this! You can get to the mountain homes but you will never defeat us!"



"Your tricks will not stop me! We will bring the might of the gods and dwarven mechanics down on you!"



I began to strike the wall with my pick. Hatebeard stepped forward and grabbed me by the shoulder. "Sir, I think you should calm down-"



"Sir, you are angering them. Wait until we are strong enough; wait for the monarch and her royal escort to arrive, then we will unleash hell upon the hell we unleash."

I threw the pick to the ground and stormed off. I heard cackling underneath my feet.
Logged
Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Masked_Hunter1825

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Hatebeard notes

The final battle is coming, I sense it. The adamantine wasen't singing.. they were however. Promises of power and madness. Those bastards want to be free? Let them. But they will have to get through dwarven traps, might and fish folk. Then, when all of their armies are dead, we're going to go straight to the underworld and build a massive statue as a permenant reminder that we kicked their asses.. then just build a normal fortress. The underworld sounds lovely this time of year.

Things to do
-Ask new overseer that they need to build several traps then breach the adamantine.
-Sell goblins into slavery
-Capture fish-men to be used against the underworld.
-Engrave something in Arzun's quarters.
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Mitchewawa

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Hatebeard notes

The final battle is coming, I sense it. The adamantine wasen't singing.. they were however. Promises of power and madness. Those bastards want to be free? Let them. But they will have to get through dwarven traps, might and fish folk. Then, when all of their armies are dead, we're going to go straight to the underworld and build a massive statue as a permenant reminder that we kicked their asses.. then just build a normal fortress. The underworld sounds lovely this time of year.

Things to do
-Ask new overseer that they need to build several traps then breach the adamantine.
-Sell goblins into slavery
-Capture fish-men to be used against the underworld.
-Engrave something in Arzun's quarters.

Heh, I didn't plan on releasing the fun. Lots of bad stuff happened just as I realised how close my go was to finishing, so I just wrote up something interesting. You know what's worse than one of our best speardwarves dying for no reason?

I RAN OUT OF FISH.
« Last Edit: September 18, 2011, 06:57:38 am by Mitchewawa »
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

Masked_Hunter1825

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We need more fun! Also.. if the queen suffers and unfortunate accident, who will become king/queen?
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Sphalerite

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Sphala's journal-

The goblins finally attacked.  Not when any traders were here - they must have been late getting the word back, or perhaps it took them too long to get their army together.  No harm, we're all ready for them.

The Icemachine worked!  Nearly perfectly.  The activation lever wasn't pulled quite in time, and some goblins sneaked through.  I guess cavies can't pull levers after all, we should have put those closer to the meeting hall.  But, only a few got through - our soldiers should be more than capable of taking care of them!  It'll be more work to clean the ice and bodies out of the freezing trench.



Ooh, pity about Wes's injuries.  I'm sure he'll be ok.  I know we've got some soap around here somewhere, I remember coming across it when I was looking for tin for Arzun's throne.  Our hospital could really use some expansion, Professor Harken kept asking me about that when I was in charge.  I built some more wells for him, but we still have that same small hospital that's just not up to any serious medical work.

This Mitch lady seems to be doing a good job, but she doesn't have much of a sense for aesthetics.  The private rooms she carved out for herself were bold, but since then she's just made some ugly, non-circular rooms.
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Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius --- and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

The Master

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*Loud screaming and arguing can be heard from Wes' barracks*

Wes: ...FOR THE FINAL TIME, I WANT SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM TO GET RID OF THE DAMN OVERSEER! ALL SHE'S DONE AROUND HERE IS MAKE THINGS WORSE!!!! SHE'S A DAMN FISHERMEN FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

? ? ?: Ahem...I think I may be of assistance.

Wes: AND YOU ARE?!

? ? ?: That's not important right now, but come 1st of Granite, and you'll see...*vanishes into the shadows*

Wes: WHA...I think I might be a bit sober. WELL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE YOU LAZY BASTARDS, GET ME AN ARMOK-DAMNED DRINK!
« Last Edit: September 18, 2011, 09:10:03 pm by The Master »
Logged
Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.

Mitchewawa

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First overseer's official bulletin.
This stone tablet is to be placed in the statue garden for all dwarves to read.


Brothers and sisters! My time with you is drawing closer to it's end; 4 months away actually. There are many rumours going around about breaching the layers of the deep. These rumours are true; but I will not do it soon. I might even retire before we are ready, leaving it to a more prepared overseer. At our population of one hundred and thirty and a military of fifteen or so, we would be slaughtered. I will not allow the disgrace of the taunts of the demons and their tricks to befall the sons and daughters of Atrid. We need a plan. I call for the smartest of the dwarven engineers to put forward their ideas.

We need another death trap for the demons, just like the Icemachine. I expect great ideas from many of you, especially Sphala. Boring ideas will not be used; we wan't to teach the demons a humiliating lesson. Simple cave-ins will not suffice.

Additionally... martial law is in effect; I am requisitioning twenty more recruits to be lead by some of our veterans. One of these squads will encompass the captain of the guard. No more escaping from the stupidity punishments of Arzun all the nobles. This might not be the most popular option, with two dwarves with a 101 day sentance for failing to fashion Arzun's tin dildos crafts, but it will be done, for the safety and the law of our nation!

To all of our current militia and our new recruits; Get ready.

PS. I will not make a mistake like the recent siege again. I am ordering a peasant to be by the levers at all times. Wes gets to choose who; he's the one who suffered for my mistake. A random useless peasant or a particularly tin-gay noble?
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Mitch cancels sleep: Interrupted by Clowns

peregarrett

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So, we're going to capture them, and do various examinations? Holy carp... I have to invent something... maybe even !!something!!

First of all, we need giant cave spiders!
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Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.
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