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Author Topic: elves aren't always that stupid.  (Read 1707 times)

adasdad

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elves aren't always that stupid.
« on: August 02, 2011, 08:54:21 pm »

post stories of valiant, if evil elves. for instance, during the age of roc herp and hill tian derp, an elf killed the roc, and confronted the titan, and died. she litterally ended an era! unfortunely, she was of the evil persuasion, killing 64 hiumans and a dwarf.
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IT 000

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2011, 09:11:49 pm »

No that just proves how great dwarves are. He killed a roc, killed 64 humans and ended an era! But only one dwarf. Why? Because dwarves are awesome.
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adasdad

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2011, 09:43:31 pm »

No that just proves how great dwarves are. He killed a roc, killed 64 humans and ended an era! But only one dwarf. Why? Because dwarves are awesome.
the thing was, there was this village that the elves really hated for some reason. i honestly have no idea what that dwarf was doing there.
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Urist Mcinternetuser

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2011, 09:47:11 pm »

The coolest Elf I've ever witnessed, managed to get out of my drowning pit, later upon closer inspection she was short and fat.
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adasdad

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2011, 09:59:51 pm »

dwarven changeling? ughh. imagine the childhood trauma.... *shudders*
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Urist Mcinternetuser

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2011, 11:03:37 pm »

She had to have been really traumatized, because she just stood there in my fort, covered in water.
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sonerohi

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2011, 03:22:34 am »

I had three dwarves attacking an elf for training. The training room has a shallow pit around it to prevent escape, unless the drawbridge is down. Three on one, I figured it was safe to leave the drawbridge down. The elf picks up and throws each dwarf, in turn, into the pit, leaving them unharmed, and then runs off. He tears through my whole fortress in the most peaceful way. He steals weapons and, rather than use them to maim my dwarves, he drops them and keeps running. He made it past seventy dwarves without taking or dealing any harm.
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nanomage

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2011, 04:34:34 am »

I had three dwarves attacking an elf for training. The training room has a shallow pit around it to prevent escape, unless the drawbridge is down. Three on one, I figured it was safe to leave the drawbridge down. The elf picks up and throws each dwarf, in turn, into the pit, leaving them unharmed, and then runs off. He tears through my whole fortress in the most peaceful way. He steals weapons and, rather than use them to maim my dwarves, he drops them and keeps running. He made it past seventy dwarves without taking or dealing any harm.
Cacame McHoudini i guess
you should have started a show with him escaping from every imaginable deadly danger unharmed.
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caknuck

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2011, 11:52:45 am »

The only happy ending to that story would be to impale him on a +birchen menacing spike+ one or two tiles away from the edge of the map
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jaxy15

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2011, 12:15:08 pm »

Once in a world where I had a goblin fort, an elf killed a roc.
Some engraver proceeded to engrave it all over the place.
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peskyninja

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2011, 01:59:38 pm »

I had three dwarves attacking an elf for training. The training room has a shallow pit around it to prevent escape, unless the drawbridge is down. Three on one, I figured it was safe to leave the drawbridge down. The elf picks up and throws each dwarf, in turn, into the pit, leaving them unharmed, and then runs off. He tears through my whole fortress in the most peaceful way. He steals weapons and, rather than use them to maim my dwarves, he drops them and keeps running. He made it past seventy dwarves without taking or dealing any harm.
Please write an story!
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RenoFox

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2011, 08:20:48 pm »

In a small world with short history, there was an elf named Ado. For the first 50 years, he was repeatedly harassed by the same four night creatures. Most of the time he escaped unharmed, other times they broke his arm, thumb, or gave him a black eye.

In the year 51, he joined a temple, became a zealot and started hunting beasts. The next time he met with a night creature, it was not an assault, but an encounter.

By the end of the world gen, he had only four kills to his name; those four accursed night creatures.

Jake

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Re: elves aren't always that stupid.
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2011, 03:29:28 am »

Back in 40d, I'd become annoyed with elven caravans being sitting ducks for anyone and anything and modded them with [MERCHANT_BODYGUARDS] and maces and pikes instead of swords.* I genned a new world, found a nice little embark spot and ran a quite successful little fortress with some quite elaborate engineering projects by my standards. I learned to appreciate their tendency to bring vast quantities of cloth and very little else quite early on when a fey mood left me with a legendary clothier; I'd rather neglected this industry until then and decided I might as well run with it, and before long I was buying out entire caravans.

So, around about the sixth year after settling there, a massive goblin ambush hit while the elven caravan was en route. An elven maceman found himself in a narrow valley facing a whole squad of goblins single-handed with reinforcements several minutes away.
He hit the first goblin hard enough to launch him into the hillside and splatter, and went on to dispatch four more before dying to a crossbow bolt in the back mere seconds after several Fortress Guard marksdwarves arrived at a dead run to render assistance.

I ended up erecting a statue on the spot where he fell, and I don't think I cut down another tree as long as that fort stayed active.

* Apart from seeming a bit more plausible, blunt weapons were a lot more dangerous under the old combat rules, especially without the strength cap. Sometimes I miss the days of Captain Ironblood and Morul, The Most Interesting Dwarf In The World, when with years upon years of practice a dwarf could become strong enough to punt a goblin clear across a mountain range.
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