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[XArgon]

At first, Armok created a world, and gave it life.
But life was quickly immolated by volcanic eruptions that plagued the unstable world.
Armok shrugged, and, not wanting to waste much time on solving the inner world pressure problem, just gave magma some sentience and made it not want to go up.
So it doesn't.
Unless the dwarves force it up with their pumps. Which usually ends badly for them.

Why would a group of prospectors think a haunted glacier is a fitting place for a settlement?

[Aslandus]

They don't believe in ghosts, and trees are for namby-pamby elves. Unfortunately for them, ghosts aren't much of a threat compared to zombies.

Why do dwarves get so freaked out about the undead?

[Eric Blank]

They're gross, dude. Why wouldn't they?

Why do wild animals want my masterwork steel gauntlets?

[Quartz_Mace]

Why wouldn't they want the shiny? They are animals.

Why don't Boogeymen exist in fortress mode when they kill 70% of early adventurers?

[pisskop]

Why wouldn't they want the shiny? They are animals.

Why don't Boogeymen exist in fortress mode when they kill 70% of early adventurers?

Boogeymen are a residual artifact resulting from you taking control of an individual.  Such a process unleashes the greatest fears of the poor creature, who longs for death so much that they would rather die at the hands of the greatest fears than endure the torture of being unable to control their own movements.  This explains why worldgen adventurers never see them.
  If you want bogeymen in fortress mode you need to go to a site and kill bogeymen or get people killed by them, although occasionally masons and metalcrafters will produce statues of them, they are generally ignored by others.

Why haven't I ever seen a statue of a fanciful creature?

[Max™]

Those statues only exist if you believe in them, clearly you don't believe hard enough, really put your face into it, HRRRRNGGGGGHHHH!!!!

How does an animated troll arm kill the forgotten beast which ripped it off of the troll in the first place?

[Quartz_Mace]

The Forgotten Beast could only kill the Troll to because it was alive. That arm was not alive.

Why don't Goblins babysnatch Kobolds?

[Arcvasti]

They're too cute. Also, as an adventurer, have you ever walked into a kobold cave? Even the most badass necromancer husk vampires get killed more often then not by the zerg rush. You don't fuck with kobolds.

How exactly do you make a functional lockable door out of ROCK?

[Max™]

Well obviously you make it at least 3 feet thick from the same stone as mechanisms, which gives it a quantum state locker like a weeping angel, except when you look at a dorf door it stops existing, which is why you can put a door between four pillars and it will allow traffic in all four directions. To lock it you just pull a curtain which keeps it from being looked at.

Why is that I can build a magma safe pumps out of nether-cap, I could make water wheels out of nether-cap, and I could route magma past it so it was flowing, but I can't use that to make a magma reactor, would it really be THAT bad an abuse of the laws of the universe for it to work with magma like it does water?

[pisskop]

Kobold cave dont appear on the goblin maps, so they dont know where to find baby kobolds


How do night creatures always end up stealing so many kings and queens?

[Bumber]

Why is that I can build a magma safe pumps out of nether-cap, I could make water wheels out of nether-cap, and I could route magma past it so it was flowing, but I can't use that to make a magma reactor, would it really be THAT bad an abuse of the laws of the universe for it to work with magma like it does water?

The magma sticks to the edges of the cold wheel and solidifies, preventing it from turning.

How do night creatures always end up stealing so many kings and queens?

[Aslandus]

The kings and queens can't resist the charms of the undead... or werebeasts... or boogeymen... or zombies... or whatever else goes bump in the night... Royalty is kinda promiscuous...

Why is leather such weak armor?

[Vyro]

Because you are wearing a hide whose previous owner got killed (shortly) before. And it probably was a chicken. Now what makes you think this won't happen again? Not to mention the lack of boiling, studding, sewing and other processing altogether.

Why doesn't building walls build up Masonry skill at all?

[TheHossofMoss]

The kings and queens can't resist the charms of the undead... or werebeasts... or boogeymen... or zombies... or whatever else goes bump in the night... Royalty is kinda promiscuous...

Why is leather such weak armor?

It is weak, because it is the skin of an animal placed over your skin.

Will we be able to make the Dwarf Fortress Honey Badger care?

[Quartz_Mace]

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give an Urist.

Why doesn't Honey Badger care?