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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474379 times)

MaximumZero

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  • Stare into the abyss.
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Dwarves realize that the construction that they've built can become one with the world, and are so awestruck at the thought that they have to become one with the world as well.

What does the sky in the world of DF look like?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

misko27

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Your face.

Why are dwarves perfectly willing to kill a cherished family member if ordered too? (berzerk, justice, loyalty cascade)
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

crazysheep

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Because enemies of civ.

Why do Serrated Disc traps > everything?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

GoombaGeek

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When people talk about opening a can of whoop-ass, the serrated blades are the can's lid.

Why do migrants decide that moving to an evil glacier volcano aquifer with no qualifications whatsoever is a great career choice? (On the plus side, when their melting bodies sank into the lava they managed to reveal candy beneath!)
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My wooden badge was delicious.

Komra

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Migrants and expeditionary dwarves are largely banished convicts or daredevils, none with any other choice. Assignments are entirely out of their hands if they request a transfer from the Fortress Committee.

Why don't forts send out their own caravans and wagoneers?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Monk321654

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Migrants and expeditionary dwarves are largely banished convicts or daredevils, none with any other choice. Assignments are entirely out of their hands if they request a transfer from the Fortress Committee.

Why don't forts send out their own caravans and wagoneers?
Only Mountainhomes have the political power and pure size to send out Embark Projects.

What do dwarves think of Mountain Goats?
They are obviously quite similar.
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

crazysheep

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Urist likes mountain goats for their long dwarvenly beards.

Why don't Hammerers aim for the convict's HEAD?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

GoombaGeek

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Urist likes mountain goats for their long dwarvenly beards.

Why don't Hammerers aim for the convict's HEAD?
If the convict survives, they will be able to hammer him more.

How come dwarfs can see in the dark?
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My wooden badge was delicious.

Steamswitch

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They're so drunk they think they can see in the dark. Dwarf alcohol is actually a powerful psychoactive drug.

Why are nobles ignorant snotty idiots who expect everyone to obey them?
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Corai

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Because DF is realistic.


Why cant dwarves put stuff back into stacks?

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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

crazysheep

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Because they're so blind drunk every stack looks the same, and they don't know which stack is full and which isn't.

Why do dwarves only brew 4 types of booze?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Komra

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After they had finished trying to get their traditional plants to make sweet, sweet booze (dimple cup vodka did NOT work), the dwarves immediately went on to trying to distill some of the more common liquids around them. Fire whiskey and blood wine are... a *little* different in the Mountainhomes. The casualties producd by the experimentation led to a ban against alcohol experimentation without approval by the Dwarven Government.

From where do dwarves get their requisite calcium if they never drink milk and only rarely eat leafy green vegetables?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Firehawk45

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You dont know, and you DONT WANNA KNOW whats in the booze they are drinking.....

Why are catapults actually railguns?
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Blizzlord

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Correction: ballistae are the railguns. Catapults are just bad.

How come pickaxes are considered foreign weapons?
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Quote from: a Swedish electronics teacher
In Sweden, digital electronics is considered unteachable. That is why you are not being taught about it.
Most attempts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness on the internet will most likely end up in egregious delusions of eloquence. Finagle's law commands it!

crazysheep

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Because it lacks a blunt attack. All dwarven weapons must have blunt attacks. This is also why the guy in charge of justice is a hammerer and not an axe-wielding executioner.

Why couldn't dimple cups make good booze?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."
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