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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474291 times)

Logen910

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  • Biting people to death since 126,000 B.C.
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One of my biggest wtf's so far was when my soldier was fighting my pet dragon for years without any of them being able to dominate or even hurt the other. Called it a dance with dragons. i think they are still dancing somewhere in my caves, i dont know, havent checked for a long time since if have greater problems.
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This is a russian player. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with blood, death and pain and encircled with bands of bad grammar mistakes.

misko27

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Dwarves have 2 modes, over done, and not at all. Either you can keep everything out, or get beaten to death by gobbos. or a bronze collosus. or a titan. or a FB. or CLOWNS.

Why dont dwarvesrun towards safety when threatened, and not whereever they please?
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

crazysheep

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Why dont dwarvesrun towards safety when threatened, and not whereever they please?
Because they fear for the fort's life when they see the massive siege approaching. So they attempt to find another safer fort. And then they hit the map edge.

How many wheelbarrows to a minecart for maximum magma-transportation efficiency?
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

Komra

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Looks like nobody has any idea. Ask elsewhere or research it yourself, i suppose. Sorry.

Why don't dwarves use two-handed swords- their own sized version, of course.
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Graebeard

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Why don't dwarves use two-handed swords- their own sized version, of course.

Because the other hand is for mugs!

What happened to all the tentacle demons...
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At last, she is done.

Xenos

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Why don't dwarves use two-handed swords- their own sized version, of course.

Because the other hand is for mugs!

What happened to all the tentacle demons...
You know how the elves stopped whining about us cutting down trees?  The tentacle clowns paid them a 'visit' so they would stop harassing dwarves.  The clowns like visitors and trees help speed up visitors. ;D
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This is a useful feature..and this is DF.. so im gonna assume its bugged
That's what cages and minecart shotguns are for!  We don't need to control them.  We just need to aim them.
[DWARFINEERING]

Komra

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Don' furget'chur queschun, man.

Why are demon claws weaker than a copper pickaxe against adamantine in stone?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

misko27

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*Takes out lenses and puts on urkel glasses*
Spoilers, dont read them unless you know folks

Well, scientifically speaking, adamantine, raw and thread form, is only soft thread, though impossibly strong. It needs heating and shaping, you know, "smelting", in order to expand into the hyper-hard substance we know and love. Raw is stuck in stone, embedded one might say. The thing is, the demons of hell are unaware of this, and are under the impression that adamantine is impossibly hard, unless you already have a adamantine pick. The Demons of Hell are unsure of how dwarves acquired one, and this is often spoke of in hell as a conversation topic and is as common knowledge as the anvil-myths of lore. Now, dwarves, being the prized creation of Armok, know innately of the ways of the mountains, and the method of digging out adamantine is known to all dwarves. however, if a demon should observe a dwarf digging out adamantine by digging out the edges, then pulling the thread out, he might tell others, and all hell would break loose, even more so then usual.
*Takes off glasses* uh. *puts glasses back on and grabs lenses, takes off glasses, puts lenses in*
Ow my eyes. *flushes eyes with water*

Why do crops not need any form of energy in order to grow, and why is a single piece of land capable of producing infinitely.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2012, 11:40:51 pm by misko27 »
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The Age of Man is over. It is the Fire's turn now

krenshala

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The crops are using microscopic DWRs to produce the energy necessary for their growth.  This is why you need to muddy the soil to plant - not to provide mud, but to provide the water for the DWR the plant uses for energy.

Why do dwarves leave conscious but immobile newly injured dwarves to lay in their own blood pool instead of bringing them to a hospital?



* Yeah, I have this going on in my fort right now.  Alligator decided to attack just as the wagon stopped, and tried to rip off one of the Farmer's feet.  He failed, and the other six plus a dog or two beat it to death with their fists (and canines (pun intended)).  I'm planning to make the expedition leader some alligator leather boots. :D  While they bring Fikod water, they just leave her laying in the dirt.
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

Corai

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Dead and dying people are icky.


Why is Urist a famous name?
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Monk321654

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Because of the Original Urist, a dwarf who ventured far to the mountains, killed her entire crew, and then got murdered by a demon.

What powers the Element Men?
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This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I'm not your average Bay12er. I care about my drunken midgets.

Komra

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By type-
Amethyst Men: Energy absorbed from the ambient heat trapped in a crystal lattice
Blizzard Men: Miniature windmills making use of air currents
Blood Men: Excess fluid donated by symbiotic vampires for re-enrichment with new hemoglobin
Fire Men: Relatively cool nuclear fusion (note to Urist McPhysicist- harness this power)
Gabbro Men: Residual  charge from their time as Magma Men
Iron Men: Arc reactors
Magma Men: Just as magma rises to the top of its tube, so too does sentient, sapient magma draw new lava from its surroundings
Mud Men: The life force of nearby wallong animals is slowly drained
Plump Helmet Men (if applicable): Hydroelectromagical generators-requires frequent waterings

Why are there no Element Women?
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But you never see a movie where a terrible coal plant accident causes a horrible devastation, do you? Nope, everyone seems to think that nuclear plants get their energy by smacking live atomic warheads all day or something.

Rose

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There are. You just don't see them  cus they're all at the Bat-Men's secret hidden away playboy mansion.

Why do cats slow time?
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krenshala

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There are. You just don't see them  cus they're all at the Bat-Men's secret hidden away playboy mansion.

Why do cats slow time?

Gravity.  Cat's convert sunlight to gravity, and store it for use later.  All cats can do this, but black cats are more efficient at it.

Why are the hooves of grazers at least as sharp as bladed bluemetal weapons?

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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

GoombaGeek

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Because grazing ungulates alone know the true secrets of metalworking; secrets that would cause dwarven civilizations to go even more power-mad than normal were it ever to be revealed.

Why can't my masons figure out how to construct a wall over magma without just dropping the rocks straight in like idiots and getting pushed into the flow by the ensuing shockwave dust?
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My wooden badge was delicious.
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