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[mnjiman]

For the length of the story and the amount of detail put into it, you did a great job. You put enough detail into it to allow the reader to assume the correct occurrences, avoiding the need to repeat names and objects to give the story a better flow.

I did expect one of Ceda's travelers to die at some point. Instead everything seemed to have a picture perfect happy ending. I did hope that Ceda would fall further into darkness... which did not occur. Everything seemed end up fine, and I felt the climax was hampered because of this.

I think the major issue is that the story could of been much much longer with the amount of travel and detail put into it. It seemed like there was parts cut out.

Overall, I do think it is the best work done you have done Threetoe. Keep up the nice work.

Ill add any more comments later if I can think of anything else.

[ThreeToe]

Thanks to everybody for reading!  I'm glad you liked it.  All the practice I got writing stories for the ASCII Art Rewards really paid off.

[dood_]

Snip

Are you saying that you think the ability to fuck with reality is a little over powered? I was never really eager about the implementation of magic in DF before, but if it's done like in this story, I won't have a problem with it. Sounds very FUN.

[Psieye]

I've always viewed Threetoe's stories as a window of insight into the far distant future of DF. That mindset at times distracted me from enjoying Cado's story and in a couple of places, kept me reading when I would have otherwise doubted. The latter occurred when there was no foreshadowing for certain events that I therefore found jarring - most notably the "we bring back all the previous antagonists but nobody else just because we can" event. The detail felt a little thin in a few places (e.g. learning to use Ostra's techniques while in live combat) but overall I enjoyed the story.

Now as for the Inspiration Analysis... besides the magic introduction I was intrigued by:
- party members who give quests when they encounter relevant events (e.g. walking in on the siege of the dwarf fortress)
- party members disagreeing with your choice of which quests to spend time on
- NPCs giving advice which may not be in your interests
- animal people fitting into human cities
- elf wood crafts being far higher in value than dwarf wood crafts
- animated crafts

[Neonivek]

most notably the "we bring back all the previous antagonists but nobody else just because we can" event

It made sense EXCEPT for... how the world did Ostra get brought back? I thought it at least required them to be brought forth from the underworld.

Though the one that made little sense to me was the Goblin wizard comming back, he didn't really seem of note as far as the story was concerned (You know, given that he technically is FAR outside the wizard standings... he would at most be the 6th or 7th most powerful wizard). I guess Armok and him were related somehow?
-Though I assumed they were summoned because the Priest wanted to kill Cado and brought forth all his old nemesis.

The Priest of Armok reminds me of this Sorcerer whos name escapes me. He essentially became powerful enough to seal all the Genies because he had God on his side. Godly patrons sure do help!

[snpaa]

I just want to say i thought this  story was fantastic and i cant wait for you to do another one, but i have a question. What happened to the other threetoe stories for 2011, i swear there was one called forest behold that was done recently but i can't seem to find it, Did you decide to remove it?

[Footkerchief]

I just want to say i thought this  story was fantastic and i cant wait for you to do another one, but i have a question. What happened to the other threetoe stories for 2011, i swear there was one called forest behold that was done recently but i can't seem to find it, Did you decide to remove it?

If you're thinking of Forest Befouled, that's from 2006.

[snpaa]

Nope  the story im talking about had a wizard, elf, human, dwarf, a bunch dwarven red shirts, and the theme was like sacrifice and making a deal with a demon.

[Gorobay]

Could it be "The Assassination of Zecalo Bronzeflower"?

Rereading that one made me realize: "Cado" is the third story involving the demon Tremoda. He's becoming quite the recurring character.

With respect to the line "'We are all slaves to Armok,' said the priest.", I was pleased to finally see it in a Threetoe story. I had been disappointed that such a good action-movie-banter sort of line had not yet been used.

[snpaa]

  Sadly it isn't, I guess threetoe didn't think that story was his best work or something and decided to remove it, I liked it tho.

[Toady One]

Summoned to Darkness?  We haven't removed any of the stories.  There are also a ton of reward stories that have been put on the wiki.

[snpaa]

  Yes thats the one , i see it says 2009, I dont know why I thought it was 2011, but thank you for your help.

[Toady One]

The thread was recently resurrected by somebody asking a question and there was a little discussion.  That's probably it.

[DeadlyLintRoller]

12273 words, this has gone beyond short story and is in novelette territory. make it about 4x longer and Three Toe could actually get a published Novel.

[mnjiman]

12273 words, this has gone beyond short story and is in novelette territory. make it about 4x longer and Three Toe could actually get a published Novel.

A short novel.