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[Neonivek]

Not all dogs are affected by chocolate in equal effect.

My dog ate a whole chocolate orange (and he is a small dog) and he was just fine. He ate Oreos as a puppy too.

It can take a while for chocolate to actually kill a dog anyway.

[Angel Of Death]

seriously, poison the dogs. legality only matters if you're caught

Strychnine flavored dog biscuits?

Darn dogs have been eating rat poison again.  Imagine that.

The problem being that unless you have legitimate access to chemicals that will make effective poisons, chances are really good that you will leave big blazing footprints for law enforcement to follow if they have any reason at all to suspect you.  You also have to handle what will kill the dogs...

Hrm.  Wait.  Chocolate.  I'll get back to you after I see if chocolate toxicity is real in dogs.  I've never had reason to see if it's a wive's tale or real.

Chocolate kills in the long term, I think. There's someone I know who feeds their dog too much chocolate and it's still alive.

[Max White]

I have heard stories of dogs ruining Easter and living to tell the tale.

If I had to bet, chocolate to dogs is like apple seeds to humans. Or I could be wrong, who knows.

[Angel Of Death]

I think chocolate just shortens the lifespan of the dogs.

[Farmerbob]

Watch the video - it actually gives dosages that are typically dangerous to Yorkie sized and labrador sized dogs.

Milk chocolate bars for example - 5 bars to make a lab ill.

Dark chocolate, however, is a different story - and baking chocolate (the pure stuff) mixed with enough bacon grease to hold it together would be pretty toxic.

[Max White]

But then your wasting perfectly good chocolate and bacon.


Also, we are conspiring to kill a pack of dogs with baking ingredients and beacon grease.

[LoSboccacc]

seriously, poison the dogs. legality only matters if you're caught

you know, poisoned dogs and this thread are a big red flaming arrow with 'guilty' all written over his head.

[Farmerbob]

seriously, poison the dogs. legality only matters if you're caught

you know, poisoned dogs and this thread are a big red flaming arrow with 'guilty' all written over his head.

True.  I think the spiked boots / chaps / welding gloves / jackets / collars are best.  I really can't see anyone saying that it's the person's fault that the dog ripped it's mouth up on their clothing.  If it works for you, it might be a good second income in your city too, if that's something of interest!

[Farmerbob]

But then your wasting perfectly good chocolate and bacon.


Also, we are conspiring to kill a pack of dogs with baking ingredients and beacon grease.

BUT that IS very dwarfy.

Weaponizing chocolate and bacon!

[Angel Of Death]

But then your wasting perfectly good chocolate and bacon.


Also, we are conspiring to kill a pack of dogs with baking ingredients and beacon grease.

BUT that IS very dwarfy.

Weaponizing chocolate and bacon!

It needs fire. It would be funnier with fire.

You can't spell slaughter without laughter!

[Nospherat]

Ok, we have gathered neurons and brainstormed a bit in here.
We simulated a "salt the earth" scenario in theory. It won't happen, for a few reasons.

1. This thread here is pretty incriminating
2. Poisoning the dogs with lethal substances is really not a good idea. It can be classified as "dumping hazardous substances with criminal intent", which obviously is some serious stuff.
Not to mention that one simply does not have control on what happens with bits and pieces of hazardous bacon and leftovers. They may get eaten by regular pets while being walked outside, or even small children.
This is really dangerous and pretty retarded.

3. Using non toxic substances and harmless compounds. Be it artificial sweeteners, chocolate, or even brillo pads soaked in gravy.
First of all it will be classified as "disturbing the public peace" = translates to: "there is no law for what you have done, yet I have to charge you with something". This is a misdemeanor.
Then, it will also be classified as "littering" - also a misdemeanor.
If they happen to be in a bad mood that day, one could also get charged on a law that forbids dumping dead animals on the street, and since this is meant to prevent "spreading diseases" is regarded as a "delict"
(A delict is a bit more serious than a misdemeanor, yet not as serious as a felony)

Also, since there is virtually nothing else going on in this place, the media will devour you like a pack of wild dogs.

So, two counts of misdemeanor and one delict, plus prime time news coverage, as a best case scenario.
In other words.... no.


We're brainstorming on a secondary plan which is less aggressive.
We're planing on waiting for an election year and petition/raise awareness somehow.
It must be an election year however, as those times are the only times when something actually gets done. A bit. Just for show. Nothing fancy.

[Farmerbob]

I really do think the best choice is to make it so that if the dogs do bite you, they hurt themselves.  You cannot be held responsible for the damage the dogs do to themselves while they are attacking you.

Dogs are generally very predictable as to where they will bite humans.  lower legs and lower arms / hands, for as long as you are standing and mobile.  Even the few that might try to bite somewhere else will likely change to bite your leg or arm if you swing a leg or arm in their their general direction.  Some dogs might try charging attacks for throat attacks, but if you put a forearm in their face they will almost certainly bite it during their charge.

Remember that if they see you as prey, as large as most adult humans are, they will try to disable first, then kill.  They will try to disable by attacking your limbs and either tearing tendons or restricting motion so other dogs can get vital attacks in.

I'd be highly suprised if there aren't at least a couple people in the forums here with experience training aggressive dogs or training people to defend against aggressive dogs, who can comment on how correct my information is.  It's mostly book learning with some field experience as a meter reader where I had a couple encounters with dogs that put in a few false attacks to try to scare me off.  I've never had formal training, and I've very rarely ever had problems with dogs because I'm not afraid of them in the least, provided I'm not facing more than a few of them.

[Funk]

ok take of your coat and rap it round one arm, this arm is the bait.
the the other you need to get a weapon  a club or a blade is best but you may be forced to use your carkeys (make a fist round them with the biggist one sticking out) when a dog attacks hold your bait arm out so that it bites it,then stab or hit the dogs head hard go for an eye if you can.
all the time you need to make noise and do not show fear.

[The Scout]

Kick them in the face. IF they bite you, punch the crap outta it. Case closed.

[Cthulhu]

Kick them in the face. IF they bite you, punch the crap outta it. Case closed.

It'll catch your foot.

Crushing the dog by putting all of your weight on it is the easiest bet if it's latched onto you.  Dogs can't wrestle.  If you kill or maim one the rest of the pack will probably retreat.

If it bites it'll start trying to worry, and it's important to keep it from doing that.  Don't yank your limb away, that'll tear the flesh even worse.  If you're with someone else (Have you considered the buddy system?  They'll probably be less eager to attack two people) grabbing its back legs and lifting it up prevents it from worrying, as well as making it look ridiculous in front of its friends.