A new update!
12th of slate, mid spring.
Things have been going along very well. The metalsmithing complex is almost done, and is being completed as I speak.
Furthermore, in the process of mining, we found a deposit of obsidian which can be mined without puncturing the volcano. Better yet, from our looks outside, we have seen the beginnings of several untapped veins of native gold. However, due to a bit of forgetfulness, I almost managed to starve what few animals we have. Apparently oxen need to eat. Greedy little buggers. We're putting them to pasture outside, but I worry that they might get eaten by giant eagles or something.
Oh, guess what! I'm now the richest person in the fort! You wanna know why? I've got a door!
And Mother said I would never amount to anything.
On a unrelated note, I have ordered a fortified courtyard built so that our animals may graze in peace. It is rather small however, so it shall have to be expanded as time goes on.
Now that the fort is finally secure, I am now able to practice my true calling: Chartered accountancy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go count every pebble in the fort. Twice.
A lot of people have asked how I manage to stay so fit when all I do is count plump helmet spawn, but what it really boils down to is that I forgot to bring paper, so I have to engrave the stocks into the table. With my beard. Well, that's what I wish they would ask. In reality they tend to say things like this:
Urist McAsshole: lol, ur job es gay!!1!!
Foolish mortals. Do they not know that I am the master of life and death!
When I reach highest precision, I shall know all. Already I know how all of you are going to eat your next plump helmet, and how each and every one of you is going to die. It's actually pretty funny if you look at it in the right way.
OOC: This was a rather boring bit so I tried to spice it up some. And yes, in this the bookkeeper is a multidimensional monstrosity that takes everything that might happen in the future into account when he writes is ledgers, up to and including his own death.
Oh, and to ignatzami, this is just my fist time on the fourms, not my first volcano fort. My first one only really had anything bad happen to it when a really impressive drawbridge based deathtrap caught some goblins, and my military decided to rush in and fight them. Idiots. Anyway, the fort survived that, but in the end the place died of FPS death.
Oh, and Kona, would you like Vucar to stay Vucar, or would you like me to change his first name to Kona?