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Author Topic: Elves, and pissing them off.  (Read 2590 times)

MisterLich

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Elves, and pissing them off.
« on: March 09, 2011, 07:45:38 pm »

Just a quick question.

Recently some elves came to trade me their abundance of rope reed cloth, but amongst it they had a ton of things and caged animals that I wanted, but mostly they had a whole stockpile of wood that I needed badly because I'm embarked on a frozen mountain with very very very few trees.  I didn't have the stuff to get all their logs with trade, but I had walled up my fortress with stone and the only way in and out was a drawbridge surrounded by traps and a long thin stretch of land that went to the bridge.  I decided I really needed those logs.

I got my military awake and stationed them all around the depot, then I deconstructed it under the elves, then I had my dorfs kill them in cold blood after they had come wanting to do honest trading.  I took their wood and all their other crap, and hucked their bodies into a pit with the rest of my refuse.  There were no survivors to my knowledge, I raised the bridge so they couldn't escape, I even killed their donkeys.  I only lowered the drawbridge when there wasn't an elf left in my unit list alive.

Will the elves figure out what happened?
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Eoganachta

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2011, 07:49:18 pm »

Yes. Expect protesters outside trying to stop the elf violence. Make them understand police brutality.
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Pan

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2011, 07:59:45 pm »

The bloodthirstiness of a DF player... Really, a battle report like that is usually what you would hear from a Nazi/Japanese officer confessing what atrocities they did back in World War 2.

You know, not that that's a bad thing  :D
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Girlinhat

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2011, 08:27:11 pm »

They'll send a smaller caravan next year, and they may start ambushing you eventually.  By that time, you should be breeding the giant jaguars you stole from them and just sick them on the elves.

Flying Dice

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2011, 08:49:03 pm »

Time to break out the dwarven equivalent of teargas and rubber bullets. That is to say, battleaxes and magma. After all, if they come after you, that is just more free stuff for you. Including crappy wooden weapons for your recruits to train with.
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Girlinhat

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2011, 08:57:22 pm »

I'm thinking about giving my militia commander a stolen elf's spear, from a living elf who's currently caged, and letting him kill the next ambush with it.  I wanna train up his spear skill, but my weaponsmiths suck.  I just wish we had weapon/armor degradation, so that I could put a stockpile of wooden crap outside and my commander could grab one, break it over an elf's head, grab another, etc...

thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2011, 12:12:28 am »

I still think elves don't attack unless you are at war with them from world gen onwards.  Running a 25+ year fort, robbed them every year, killed a few (I usually avoid that though since there is nothing more annoying than a stockpile full of wooden flutes of mediocre quality), chop down lots of trees, and keep lots and lots of trees stockpiled.  So far absolutely nothing.

Humans on the other hand get pissed pretty dependably.
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arkhometha

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2011, 12:17:34 am »

I still think elves don't attack unless you are at war with them from world gen onwards.  Running a 25+ year fort, robbed them every year, killed a few (I usually avoid that though since there is nothing more annoying than a stockpile full of wooden flutes of mediocre quality), chop down lots of trees, and keep lots and lots of trees stockpiled.  So far absolutely nothing.

Humans on the other hand get pissed pretty dependably.

Hey, use magma. Is clean, you get rid of the bodies, the crap wood stuff, and its perfectly safe!
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Nikov

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2011, 12:53:58 am »

I never understood elf-hate. Wood, food, cloth, dyes, alcohol: what honestly is not to love? That they hate wooden bins?
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Girlinhat

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2011, 12:56:35 am »

The wood, food, cloth, and dyes.  Booze is good, but dwarves make their own booze.  And everyone else brings booze and food anyways.  The exotic animals are the only real thing, but this pro is outweighed by the con that they're pretentious pretty-boys and damn dirty hippies.

twwolfe

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #10 on: March 10, 2011, 01:06:36 am »

by now, elves and dwarves (and by extension, the players) are locked in our own version of the 100  Years War. we've hated each other so long we don't want to stop
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Girlinhat

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2011, 01:12:37 am »

They're like leafblowers.  You love to hate them.  That droll, dull roar outside your window at 9AM on a perfectly sunny Saturday morning, wrenching you from your hungover slumber and exposing you to the light and noise.  If not for the elves to occupy our hate, we might hate other, more dangerous and volatile things.

arkhometha

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2011, 01:13:22 am »

The wood, food, cloth, and dyes.  Booze is good, but dwarves make their own booze.  And everyone else brings booze and food anyways.  The exotic animals are the only real thing, but this pro is outweighed by the con that they're pretentious pretty-boys and damn dirty hippies.

That, and also they ask to you limit the cutting of trees and bring that wonderful stuff to trade like that mahogany sword and breastplate that you always wanted for a goblins siege, the lovely piccolos from ash tree logs,all that useful non magma safe cages made of wood. You could buy all that stuff to keep you warm on the winter, but then again, magma is more fun.

Want to see what's the useful stuff they bring? Flood them with magma, and see whats left. What's left is useful.
Also, they are fine in eating sentient species, so they are a bunch of disgusting tree lovers and sentient aters.

On another note, some of us are roleplaying. Althought I get pissed frequently when I'm trading a lot of stuff for food or some rare tamed animals and they got butthurt because I'm offering they steel, a wodden statue of an elf diying or some crap they think involves cutting trees.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2011, 01:25:18 am by arkhometha »
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SirAaronIII

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #13 on: March 10, 2011, 01:27:52 am »

I love elves. I welcome their natural presence in my fortress. I allow them to share their wondrous gifts with my people.
I am not joking. I never kill the elves.
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agatharchides

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Re: Elves, and pissing them off.
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2011, 01:33:28 am »

 I'm pretty ambivalent. Like in many things I serve the interests of my fort first, but I have no particular animosity toward the elves and don't kill them for the sake of killing. In practice I usually buy from them, if only because I want them to carry some of my gazillion bags and mechanisms off the map. And the wood and animals are pretty nice. I don't like woodcutting that much and tend to embark in deserts and mountains.
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