Journal of Johnny Digs Da Miner DA BOSS!1st GraniteJohnny start da day diggin like every oda day. Was going up da stairs to get some grub when Johnny hear strange voices coming from da caverns. Johnny neva notice dat door der before. When Johnny go a snoopin, da big boss Chewie came out da door! Oh no, Johnny gonna be in trouble now me thought. But no, Chewie happy to see Johnny instead.
Chewie tells Johnny wait a minute and goes back inside da room. Johnny hears da strange voices again. Den Chewie comes out and promotes Johnny! Chewie says Johnny perfect for da job. A true dwarf of da people.
So now Johnny da big boss. Johnny finally get to do all da things Johnny wants to do. First thing Johnny gonna do is dig new room right next to da dinin hall!
2nd GraniteJohnny got lost again. Johnny was gonna go tell dwarfs about bein da new boss but den Johnny took wrong turn in mines. Johnny been here since da beginning but sometimes Johnny forget. Second thing Johnny do is have dwarfs give Johnny tour of da fort.
3rd GraniteJohnny tell dwarfs about being da boss. All dwarfs happy for Johnny. Dey give tour of da fort to Johnny. Johnny draw pretty pictures
Dis is da first part of da Rock Pile of Greatness.
Da animals are here and a bunch of mud for some reason.
Dis is da second part of da RPG. Here is where we get da meat and all de gobbos in cages go here too. Wait dose gobbos down dere aren't in cages. Oh shits dey gots arrows run!
Dis is da entrance to da fort. Trading and farming is done here too. Dis place sure is a mess.
Dis is da bedroom and dining floor. Dwarves drew pretty pictures everywhere. Sometimes its hard to tell where da floors and walls are, so dwarves keep bumping heads into stuff. Also deres a picture of a table in da dining room. Johnny keeps forgetting its a picture. All dwarves laugh at Johnny when Johnny try to eat on it. Grrrr.
Dis is da stocks floor and da mines where Johnny gets lost.
Dis is Chewies room. Johnny drew a picture of Chewie holding deliscious cheese.
Dis is da magma smelter floor. Dwarves turn metals into shiny pointy stuff here. Ders all de silver nuggets Johnny dig out. All Johnny ever find is silver. Silver shiny.
Johnny dunno what dis floor is for, but Johnny dig it out anyways.
Dats da end of da tour. Johnny need to go ask Chewie what Johnny do about Gobbos outside.
4th GraniteChewie not happy to see Johnny dis time. Chewie mad cuz Chewie retired now and dun't want to be bodered. But Chewie say he help Johnny dis one time. Chewie close door and go back to room. Johnny hear strange voices again. Den Chewie come out and says to let Gobbos waste arrows on animals and when all arrows gone to let em inside. Ok dat sounds smart, but now Chewie won't help Johnny. Johnny has to think for himself (oh no!).
5th GraniteDa plan worked. Gobbos in cages now. Stoopid Gobbos.
But lots of animals died. Some were pets of dwarves and dwarves be sad now.
13th GraniteDwarf dies in da hospital cuz nobody bring dwarf water. All dwarves say dey busy with oda jobs. I make two dwarves be only feeding injured.
28th GranitePets rot cuz dwarves too busy with oda jobs to bury dem. Dwarves now more sad.
15th SlateDa dwarves tell me deirs no more socks for hauling outside and dunno what to do now. Johnny tell dem to go work on da RPG and to add bridges cuz bridges are cool.
26th SlateJohnny and da oda diggas finally dug dis place out. Is Johnny suppose to flood dis with magma? Dunno, but Johnny gonna flood it with magma anyways. Also six migrants came and a dwarf got taken by fey mood. Whoopie!
3rd FelsiteDa moody dwarf finally finish dis. Ooh so preety.
13th Felsite Johnny hear a big roar from a monster in da caverns. Johnny runs down to Chewie's room to ask what to do, but Chewie not dere. Instead Johnny finds a Gobbo in a cage dat tells Johnny to stop whining cuz monster can't get in. Den Johnny remembered dat Chewie say not to be bodered no more. But Johnny know what to do from now on.
17th FelsiteDa elves came today and so did a Gobbo ambush. Johnny goes to own room cuz Johnny has own gobbo in a cage now. Johnny ask gobbo what to do, but all Gobbo does is tell Johnny to bring him Dwarven children. How will dat help Johnny?
20th FelsiteElves dead now
24th FelsiteAnoda ambush by da Gobbos! Johnny dunno what to do now. Johnny's Gobbo was broken. Gobbo said it had a cookie in its pants. When Johnny went to get it, Gobbo tried to bite Johnny. Now dat Gobbo swimming in magma. All dwarves better get inside or else!
27 FelsiteGah! All dwarves try to rearm traps during middle of attack and some die. Den more try to recover da dead and got shot too. Four dwarves died and lots got arrows stuck in dem now.
1st HematiteSumma has arrived on da calendar
23rd HematiteA dwarf died today when removing da stairs in da RPG. A piece of da wall fell on Dwarf and Dawrf got injured. Den magma. I dunno where magma come from but dwarf dead now.
27th MalachiteMid summa almost ova. We deffinitely not gettin any migrants dis summer. Johnny and da oda diggas diggin like always. Da oda dwarves keep askin Johnny what to do. I don't know what dey suppose to be doin. Go work on da RPG Johnny tells em.
17th GalenaHumans come to trade with Dwarves. We give dem Gobbo and Dwarf clothes for stuff like picks and food. Johnny tell humans about Gobbo problem. Da humans suggest stuff Johnny dunt understand well. After lots of talkin with dem dey all slapped their faces with der hands den drew Johnny a picture. Oh Ballistas!
1st LimestoneAutumn has arrived on da calendar
20 LimestoneHumans leave and dwarf die from thirst. I dunno why. Booze everywhere! Johnny tells dwarves to get more stuff from da Gobbos but dey too busy with oda jobs to do it and forget.
14 SandstoneNo migrants again. Why dey don't come?
27th SandstoneToday a Dwarf got secretive. Dwarf gather rocks and leather quitely.
8th Timber Secretive dwarf made legendary mug and a different dwarf got stuck in da RPG.
13th TimberDa Dwarven Trade Liason arrived! But den left real quick. Ok. Da traders come though. Wow dey come with 5 ox and 5 guards.
16th TimberOh no Gobbo ambush again! Johnny thought guards handle dem but den more gobbos come GAH!
Bitch Gobbos dunt know about mah drawbridge! SQUISH! All Gobbos run away after dat but dey kill most of da caravan. Da rest of da caravan leaves mad at us for some reason.
1st MoonstoneWinta has arrived on da calendar
22nd OpalGobbos no bother dwarves for long time now. Dwarves build lots of stuff outside.
Dwarves use da picture humans draw for Johnny.
20th ObsidianJohnny hear another monsta in da caverns. Johnny think monsta killed groundhog down dere.
1st of GraniteSpring has arrived on da calendar. Johnny quit dis job is too hard. Johnny make anoda dwarf the boss and Johnny go be digga only.
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Topic: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19) (Read 13324 times)