The diary of Ngerxung Emomo Smruromurolgos Sasal, Goblin pikemanYEAR NINE: SUMMER1st HematiteYay, it's summer now and the graveyard is growing. 50 coffins!
Chewie came up with the idea of expanding the dining hall. That's okay from my point. You gotta use those tables.
3rd HematiteAnother dwarf named Lòr Rìsenëlot claimed a workshop and starts collecting stuff. Hopefully he creates something useful.
13th HematiteA native silver piccolo. Nice try, moron. I'm now starting to write my diary into the wall next to my cage. My fingernails begin to hurt.
1st MalachiteNot much is happening around here, but I got the feeling that something is coming. Chewie said we have tons of silver lying
around and some working magma forges. I advise him to build some sharp silver disks.
30th MalachiteSomeday in the last month migrants arrived. Of course they are as competent at work as a sock. Current Population: 53
Quantity goes over quality in dwarfland.
1st GalenaTried to get a wall built, but those dwarves are a hopeless case.
19th GalenaI was just sitting in my room, when suddenly chewie enters.
"Ngerxung, the humans arrived few days ago. Should I start trading?"
"Yes trade for some wood and food. And metal, if possible."
"But we only have bone crafts to trade! Crappy bone crafts to be honest."
I sighed once again. Keeping idiots alive is really tedious.
"Well then forget the metal and buy what you can afford."
"Okay."
Five minutes later he returns.
"Goblin ambush!"
"Great, let them in."
"Oka... wait a second, let them in?"
"Of course you let them in! They're here to trade."
"Oh, that's cool. I'll open the gates now."
And he's off. That fool.
Another five minutes later:
"I'll neve trust you again when it comes to the defense of the fortress!" Chewie yells while entering.
I quickly stand up, ready for action. "Are they inside?"
"
No, they are not. they're waiting outside. Armed to teeth. I saw through your trick, you evil bastard."
"Pff, if you don't trust me I cannot help you."
"SHUT UP!"
...
The diary of Ngerxung Emomo Smruromurolgos Sasal, Goblin pikemanYEAR NINE: AUTUMN1st LimestoneAutumn arrives and the goblins are still here and just standing around outside. So do the humans. I can hear chewie muttering about all of them in his sleep. He sais that his dwarves can't fight, because they are too stupid, so they have to wait until the humans leave. The caravan guards will take the goblins out.
7th LimestoneMore goblins have arrived! Sadly a big part of them get caught up in the cage traps, while the rest join their colleagues standing around and wait for the humans. I feel a bit ashamed about the stupidity of my own race.
15th limestoneIt seems the goblins aren't any smarter than their target. They don't do anything, they just stand around. All except two have been captured in the cage traps or have been mauled by the weapon traps. Maybe they're discussing tactics or something, but they refuse to move. During the ambush the dwarves keep themselves busy with engraving the whole corridor of the bedroom sector.
17th limestoneHumans are leaving. But they're taking their time.
20th LimestoneKosoth Artekkud, Dwarven Moron has been possessed. Whatever.
While the dwarf is collecting some bones (Arghh!), the human guards finally take a rush at the last two goblins standing. A pikeman dodges the first goblin's arrows, while the other invader rushes towards him and steps into a cage trap. The human manages to pierce the first gobbos head with his pike. All goblins are now either captured or dead.
3rd SandstoneEven more migrants arrive. Of course no one is useful for anything. Population: 65
5th SandstoneThat guy who got "moody" (that's how they call it) during the ambush finished his work.
How useful.
I told chewie to expand the aboveground part of the fortress to the south. Maybe in the future this part could become a second entrance.
I specially reminded him of removing all ramps leading into the fortress and ordered him to wall themselves in.
Goblins again. I hope that they finally get in and slaughter everyone. Seriously, the dwarven god must have a strange humour since he protects those dwarves so well. Anyway, chewie sends everyone inside, but one dwarf didn't do it and was pincushioned on his way in. Some animals outside in the pasture, which was placed aboveground got shot also. Neither I nor Chewie care, so we leave them there.
17th TimberAnd now the dwarven caravan arrives. Chewie and the whole fortress population look forward to see them taking out my colleagues and to start trading with them.
25th TimberThe dwarven guards don't stand a chance and are shot and crossbowhammered to death. The bowmen are bashing down the last surviving one with their bronze bows while the crossbowmen shoot him. After they killed him, they rush for the entrance to the fort. But before they kill the whole caravan.
The month and the season end.
The diary of Ngerxung Emomo Smruromurolgos Sasal, Goblin pikemanYEAR NINE: WINTER1st MoonstoneWinter arrives and the outside is full of goblins. They're just standing around like the last time. The dwarves are waiting
inside. They don't actually have to go outside. They are able to survive inside of the fortress without any problems.
But Chewie is now seriously annoyed by the ambush:
"I don't want to be under siege for the rest of my life! What should I do, goblin?"
"I thought you wouldn't trust me anymore about defense matters?"
"Well I can at least listen to you."
"Well as a warrior I would send all dwarves out and hope they can survive a fair fight."
"Sending all dwarves out! Great idea! Let's do this."
"..."
I knew he was stupid, but such stupidity I've seen the first time in my life. Of course I don't say anything against it since I still want to get out here and the ambush is another oportunity.
2nd MoonstoneOkay I have to be honest, that was quite clever.
He didn't actually send the dwarves into battle, they just went close enough so that the goblins would follow them, and then started to run back in. A hammerman began to chase them, as excepted. Four dwarves werent running fast enough. But it worked, the hammerman has been captured. Now there were still two goblins left. A lasher and a bowman. So it was time for another lure. The lasher was instantly caged after seeing the dwarves coming out, while the crossbowman ran behind them and was heavily punched by stone trap power. He then ran off, passing out from time to time, while dodging every single trap on his way outside.
As I write this, Chewie is sitting on his chair and laughs at me.
"We now have more than 30 prisoners in our animal stockpile. What do you say now, goblin?"
"What are you going to do with them?"
"Nothing I guess. To be honest, I don't like it very much to be leading this fortress, so I'll give the responsibility to another one at the end of this year."
"What will happen to me and the others?"
"The next leader will judge over you and your comrades. But until then I hope you can deliver some good advice to me and I might put in a good word for you."
3rd MoonstoneChewie decided to designate a hospital because some dwarves were injured during the last ambush. It is built next to the dining hall.
18th MoonstoneToday all aboveground pools have frozen. This is bad, because the dwarves in the hospital refuse to drink alcohol. I advise Chewie to dig into one of the caverns. We have good access to a underground lake there.
"Do you think the injured dwarves are going to drink that?" chewie asks.
"Well, they have to. If not, they will dehydrate."
Oh, and a dwarf got moody again and started collecting bones. I'll never truly understand that phenomen. But I sure know that these dwarves like bones.
28th Moonstone"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, NGERXUNG, THERE'S A GOBLIN AXEMAN RUNNING AROUND IN OUR MAIN HALLWAY!"
"Wow, wait a second, what could I have done from here? I'm still sitting in a freaking cage. Just tell every dwarf to stay away from the goblin. Then he will probably run out."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
Well he did run out. Or at least he tried to. He got captured by a cage trap on his way outside. That's what you get for leaving peacefully.
2nd OpalThe dwarf that had a mood now proudly presents the result:
Chewie told me that there was a snow storm outside. This reminded me that I haven't seen the sun nearly for a whole year. And what about my goblin friends up there? Are they freezing? I don't know.
1st ObsidianNot much happened during the last month. The diagnoser who died at the beginning of the year and started haunting the dwarves as a ghost was successfully put to rest. As a side matter, our graveyard now holds around 100 coffins, of which a big part are used.
2nd ObsidianIt seems that injureds dwarves refuse to drink water that comes from an underground lake. Their problem.
22nd ObsidianAnother ambush! Chewie acts as usual: He orders all dwarves inside. Two don't make it.
28th ObsidianIt seems that Chewie made some mistakes while expanding the fortress to the southwest. He didn't see a tiny path into the aboveground part of the fortress, where the farms, the refuse stockpile and, most important, an untrapped door are. This door leads straight into the fortress. The door has been shut immediately, but nontheless the goblins have now overgone the majority of our traps. They probably won't enter before the end of the year, but the athmosphere at new years eve won't be so much fun this time. Currently the goblins are shooting down the animals in the pesture.
Chewie said he woudn't extend the time of his leadership just because there's a freaking ambush.
"Seriously, fuck goblins. Sorry, Ngerxung!"
"It's okay."
Phew, that took some time. But was fun. Hope you guys like it. Please tell me if you get some weird format stuff or if I have some langual mistakes, english isn't actually my mother language and I'm not sure if everything's good.
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Topic: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19) (Read 13328 times)