Two things. One:
this. Two: the concept of a tabletop rpg campaign that provides the players with the ability to screw around with a stable time loop and talk to past and/or future versions of themselves is starting to give me a headache.
**********~
Turn 117
**********~META TURN:Storage ho?
GoalsFind the keycard stations.
Current SoundtrackDynamo CoreActionsRW: Backflip out of harms way.
MC: Be the spider. Shoot the web.
(...) You backflip out of the way just as something huge drops from the ceiling above you!
(...) MC fires an enormous barrage out of his
back-mounted web cannon! In fact, he shoots all of it out at once, propelling him violently into the wall! He begins rapidly twitching and sparking!
RW: Anticipate time travel.
(...) You anticipate it. It is good. Your stupor is abruptly interrupted by a loud bang, and you look up to see a huge mass of webbing flying toward you!
(...) You jump out of the way, but the webbing traps your legs and pins you to the wall!
Meta: Eavs-drop on the voices in the wall.
(...) You listen to the faint voices coming through the curious point of light on the wall.
So THAT'S why Monk wears that hat all the time.
...
Poor HEN, died on turn 127. Could have saved himself if only he'd known that-BOOOOOOORIIIIINNNNNG. You quickly get distracted by nothing in particular, turning your back on the shiny spot. Suddenly, you hear a loud bang and see something huge descending from the ceiling in the center of the room!
Meta: Prepare to stab the first hostile thing that comes within reach. Anticipate attack from the ceiling.
(...) You ready your dagger, preparing for- WEB
(...) You vault over the pedestal and avoid the flying mass of web!
Meta: Destroy the ceiling
(...) With a mighty wail, you tear a massive hole in the ceiling! The sharp metal ceiling tiles shower the room!NO MONK WHYDerek: You leap into the air and surf on a flying metal tile while riffing on your guitar! The tile comes to rest on top of one of the shelves.
Frederick: You manage to get out of the way of the rain of metal tiles, but not before one tears a wide gash in your chest!
Monk: You create a telekinetic shield around yourself, blocking the tiles falling from above!
Kyle: You dive underneath one of the shelves, shielding yourself from the torrent of sharp metal tiles!
John: You catch one of the metal tiles in your mouth and use it to cut yourself free of the webbing!
MC: Struggling with a malfunction, MC is unable to dodge a falling tile. The tile slices one of his legs off!
Cleanz0r: You left him outside! Jerks.
The glowing spot on the wall begins to spark and widen, and a massive robotic spider lands in the center of the room!Genealogically Consanguineous Spider
Thaddeus Coburn
----------------------------
Head: Fine
Body: Fine
Legs: Fine
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derek L.Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Breaking the awesome barrier.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers |
Keen Helmet | Pencil x4 |
Coffee Mug |
Sonic Cannon |
Marshall C. Coburn (commanding) |
Micro Mecha Spider (commanding)Wounds:
Heavy BurnsAbilities:
Code Expert |
Neckbeard |
NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frederick StephonavichOccupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Dodging tiles.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Laser Dagger |
Cheetah Arm | Thermometer
Wounds:
Missing Arm |
Heavy Bleeding x2Abilities:
Uncanny Prediction |
Actuary's Lament |
Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name:
MonkOccupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Bringing the house down.
Inventory:
Moist Top Hat |
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Plasma Rifle |
Balloon Animal |
Mirror SuitWounds: None
Abilities:
Applied Phlebotinum |
TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life |
MacGyvering |
Telekinesis |
Pyrokinesis |
Legendary Record Keeper
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
Kyle HammersOccupation: Janitor
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Hiding.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
Jumpsuit |
Mop | Rubber Gloves |
Medkit |
Power Cleaner | Wheelchair |
Burlap Sack |
Spray Can |
Gas Mask | Bucket |
Cleanz0r (commanding)Wounds:
Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps |
Blind |
NosebleedAbilities:
That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! |
Clean Freak |
Custodial Might |
EMT |
Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy |
Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
John FreemanOccupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Breaking bonds.
Inventory:
Explosive Collar |
1/2 Jumpsuit |
Turban |
Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts |
Caruso Shades |
Cheetah Arm |
Spacesuit |
Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3 | Gasoline Canister
Wounds: None
Abilities:
Major Payne |
Fullmetal Jacket |
Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall C. Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description:
A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus. Inventory: None
Wounds:
Missing LegAbilities:
Eye Laser |
Web Shooter
Group AttacksImpromptu SingalongSpur of Conflagration to Giga LazorLocations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.
FANTASY TURN:The quest for
The Keystone has begun.
Goals"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed MiserablyBrave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.
Current SoundtrackMarsh LandActionsFW: Throw obscene amounts of summoning magic at Edgar.
(...)
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"
*Poof*
"That's... okay, I guess."
FW: Help monk!
(...) You crawl away from HEN and roll down the stairs to the entrance hall, but can't make it to Edgar before your turn arbitrarily ends.
Fantasy:Get Urist off of me.
(...) You push Urist off of yourself and watch him roll down the stairs. Well, that's done. Suddenly, a key descends from above and lands in your mouth! You accidentally swallow it!
Fantasy: Go find other chests with random items.
(...) You set off to find more chests, and- WHOOP you dropped the key! It falls off the tower and through the hole made by Derm's water spell!
Fantasy: Harness the influx of summoning magic to create living peg-legs
(...) You absorb some of the residual summoning energy passing through your new leg and redirect it at the peg-leg (log) laying on the floor. It immediately jumps into the air and starts bouncing around, making cute little cheeping noises! Awwwwwww. Your response is to butcher it alive with your harpoon until it's in the shape you need, then absorb it into your own nervous system by jamming it into your remaining leg stump. Much better!
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derm Hell-binderOccupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Committing atrocity by proxy. Think about it.
Inventory:
Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring|
Mutie (Commanding) |
Sword |
Armor |
Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds:
Heavy Burns |
Brittle SkullAbilities:
Gift of the Magi (...) |
Squishy Wizard |
Summoner (...) |
Tentacle Arm |
Water Blast |
Superheat |
Tectonic Shift |
Lightning Rod |
Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frelock Von-HeisenbergOccupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Tower Complex, Bistökmafol
Currently: Key unget.
Inventory:
Gold Coin |
Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch |
Map of Westport |
Long Sword |
Armor |
Spring ShoesWounds:
No LiverAbilities:
Smooth Criminal |
Accident Waiting to Happen |
Befuddlement |
Legsplosion |
Greater Legsplosion |
Armsplosion |
Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name:
EdgarOccupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Stretching his legs.
Inventory:
Sleeveless Long Coat |
Grappling Hook |
Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow |
Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Scrying Orb |
Ghost of Bloodbeard (Commanding) |
Living Peg-Leg (Parasitically Leeching Life Force From)Wounds:
Right Forearm Missing |
Left Arm Missing |
Missing Leg x2 |
Very Heavy Bleeding x2 |
FaintAbilities:
Booze Power (...) |
Terraphobia |
Side-quest Radar |
Possessed |
Faint
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
HighEndNoobOccupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Tower Complex, Bistökmafol
Currently: Not looking forward to his next bowel movement.
Inventory: Robe |
Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 |
Sword |
Tattered Shirt |
Leaf Barrel |
Key x1 |
Map of BistökmafolWounds:
Missing Tooth |
Heavy BleedingAbilities:
Immaculate Aim |
Clumsy Fighter |
'Splode On Impact |
Best Death EVAR |
Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
Urist AnvilsmasherOccupation: Soapmaker
DescriptionLocation: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Laying in the entrance hall.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 |
Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap |
Battle Axe |
Bamboo Pegarm |
Stone Arm |
OzurlidodWounds:
Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe |
Heavy Bruising |
Missing Tooth x2 |
Black EyeAbilities:
Dabbling Surgeon (...) |
Meager Social Ability |
Martial Trance |
Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name:
MutieDescription: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None
Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The BorealisCondition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress
Author
Topic: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 126: Booze Mist Rising] (Read 299261 times)