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[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Fire once more to get that bonus, then pick up more weights.
FW: Heal HEN then myself.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Have the CLeanzor become my loyal servent.
Fantasy: Try again.

[monk12]

The mirror suit is exactly what I had hoped it would be.

Meta: Manually disassemble remaining lasers

Fantasy: Interrogate ghost pirates

[Gatleos]

The turn has been nearly done for a while now, but I'm writing for a succession game. So it'll be up when I'm done with that.

[RedWarrior0]

The turn has been nearly done for a while now, but I'm writing for a succession game. So it'll be up when I'm done with that.

You've been working for eighteen hours?

[monk12]

The turn has been nearly done for a while now, but I'm writing for a succession game. So it'll be up when I'm done with that.

You've been working for eighteen hours?

The man is dedicated.

[Gatleos]

That was a fluke. Now we're back on track.

**********~
Turn 97
**********~

META TURN:

Possibly arachnids.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Potential For Anything

Actions

Meta: Wield thermometer, go exploring

(...) You wallow about in the air for a moment, failing to remove the thermometer from your cornea.

RW: Spiders! Get more minions!

(...) The traitorous micro-spider jumps on your face and claws at you!

RW: Fire once more to get that bonus, then pick up more weights.

(...) Your accuracy decreases dramatically for no good reason.

Meta: Have the CLeanzor become my loyal servent.

(...) Cleanz0r suddenly becomes fiercely loyal to you, and begins following you around. Score!

Meta: Manually disassemble remaining lasers

(...) You float around the lab, removing the remaining laser emitters telekinetically.

One of the control panels on the far wall of the laboratory starts sparking and bursts open, spewing more mecha-spiders! The lights dim briefly and the gravity returns to normal for a moment, immediately followed by a 60 degree forward shift in gravity, causing everything in the room to crash to the floor and start sliding toward the unexplored end of the room!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: BETRAYAL
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar | Coffee Mug | Marshall Coburn (commanding) | Micro Mecha Spider (commanding?)
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm | EYE SCREAM
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Actually using his telekinetic powers for not harming his friends.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal | Mirror Suit
Wounds: Broken Rib
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Enslaving custodial robots.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask | Bucket | Cleanz0r (commanding)
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: Losing all his former skill inexplicably.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit | Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser | Web Shooter

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

Gas power and ghost power are very similar, yes.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
Whites of Their Skulls

Actions

Fantasy: Find that little green orb that the agent took out of me

(...) You tear the small green orb from the agent's charred corpse and devour it. You can feel your former powers returning!

FW: Wake up. Summon new hand. Not the old one.

(...) You spring to your feet and concentrate on summoning a new hand for yourself! You can feel magical energy swirling around your stump, and... nothing happens. Huh.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

TENTACLE AAAARRRRRRRMMMMM

FW: Heal HEN then myself.

(...) You decide that the best course of action is to swallow the soap again. So you do. OH GOD YOU'RE CHOKING YOU TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING

Fantasy: Try again.

(...) You feel the powers of pure, undiluted awesomeness course through your veins! You suddenly feel like you have the most awesome fate in the history of the universe.

Fantasy: Interrogate ghost pirates

(...) You grab the apparently tangible ghost pirate's collar and slam him up against the wall!

"HURRRGHITYHARGITYBLARGWHERESTHEJOKER"

"...Wot?"

"For the last time, who are you people?!"

"Wait, you're one of the heroes of legend we came here to rescue?"

"Heroes of legend? What's going on?!"

"Look, maybe you should talk to Bloodbeard or LeChuck, mate."

"Did you just say LeCh- nevermind."

You set the frightened yet nonchalant pirate down.

***

The horde of undead beak dog-riding goblins arrives at the fortress gates! The Undead Agent Salvenames leaps onto an unoccupied beak dog.

"You won't escape!"

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Wiggling his new-found appendage.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Chattering Fangs (commanding) | Sword | Armor | Blank Parchment
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Fortress Gates
Currently: Considering the ramifications of a world in which gaming abstractions like powerups may be observed and quantified as actual physical objects.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: Black Eye
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Interrogating ignorant cabin boys.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: No longer lacking cool abilities, depending on how you look at it.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Showcasing the poor Dwarven AI.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Legchucks | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Broken Toe | Heavy Bleeding | Faint
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Frelock]

Meta: Find my way to the gravity room.

Fantasy: Prove Agent S. wrong.

[Dermonster]

 Welp, if we capture any female prisoners, I know what I'm going to do.

...


...


...


...


...


...


...

Treat them like everyone else, by which I mean accidentally incinerate them.

RW: HOW COULD YOU!? Disassemble mini-spiders for parts!

FW: Summon pet cat. Mutate it extensively. Call it Tom.

[monk12]

My god, I think my paranoid delusions are manifesting in the game as NPC's. I think the death goddess might be my hippo.

Meta: Accelerate towards the unexplored area by any means necessary!

Fantasy: Return topside, help Frelock aboard


also

Currently: Considering the ramifications of a world in which gaming abstractions like powerups may be observed and quantified as actual physical objects.

I lol'd

[EmeraldWind]

Technically, Derm isn't missing a left hand... nor is he unconscious... or... is... he?

[monk12]

Technically, Derm isn't missing a left hand... nor is he unconscious... or... is... he?

Turns out this entire game was Derm's dream. Because you pointed it out, he's going to wake up now and we'll spend the next three turns reading about him waking up and eating breakfast.

[Dermonster]

[1] You set fire to your cereal and blow up the neighborhood in a cloud of atomic fire.

You enjoy the entire half nanosecond you have left of it.

[Gatleos]

*************~
Turn 97.3
*************~

META META TURN:

What the-

Goals
Breakfast Time

Current Soundtrack
House

Actions

Wake up. Summon new hand. Not the old one.

(...) You wake up. You already have hands, stupid! Looks like it's time for breakfast.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Bay12 Forumite
Location: Bedroom
Currently: Waking up.
Inventory: Pajamas
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Locations
House

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

His hand is missing; that tentacle isn't his. The unconsciousness was a mistake, though.

[Dermonster]

Get dressed. Go downstairs. Get a bowl. Get some cereal.