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[Frelock]

Meta: Commence a fighting withdrawal

Fantasy: Learn how to walk without legs then.

[Dermonster]

FW: Teleport to the battlefield with the book, but wrap it in a bit of torn robe first.

Not gonna say the words fir-

...nevermind.

*Stares blankly.*

If your trying to make a reference, I don't get it. The closest words I can think of is 'mass genocide' because It's generally whats going to happen within the next three-four turns.

Atrocities ahoy!

Edit:That said If I die its going to be really sad because this game is generally the only thing I look forward to now.

Edit2: ... that said, edited action a bit.

[Gatleos]

"By/with/from the Book of the Dead God"? If you mean "The book of the dead god" it's Liber Dei Morti; The current form could also be "The Dead Gods From the Book".

...I'm not sure you're thinking of the right language.

FW: Teleport to the battlefield with the book, but wrap it in a bit of torn robe first.

Not gonna say the words fir-

...nevermind.

That said If I die its going to be really sad because this game is generally the only thing I look forward to now.

Then look forward to something else or drop the guilt trip.

I already said the paper is blank, by the way. I neither encourage nor discourage the taking of the book.

[Dermonster]

*Re-reads* Ah, yeah.

*Thinks about possible death*

Meh, If all else fails, I'll just have to make it so that I go out in the most completely badass way possible, eh? Possibly on turn 100.

The atrocities must continue!

[RedWarrior0]

"By/with/from the Book of the Dead God"? If you mean "The book of the dead god" it's Liber Dei Morti; The current form could also be "The Dead Gods From the Book".

...I'm not sure you're thinking of the right language.

What language then?

Edit: Fucking italian, where the word for "of" is the Latin word for "Of the god"

[Gatleos]

"By/with/from the Book of the Dead God"? If you mean "The book of the dead god" it's Liber Dei Morti; The current form could also be "The Dead Gods From the Book".

...I'm not sure you're thinking of the right language.

What language then?

Edit: Fucking italian, where the word for "of" is the Latin word for "Of the god"

Though "Book of The Dead God" sounds pretty cool anyway.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Modify my gas mask so that it cures my blindness
Fantasy: Back-grapeshot the agent.

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Fire!
FW: Try to do some flexing with the sideburns to make them prehensile.

[monk12]

Meta: wow I'm really not sure how to resolve this, um... Shield myself from debris with telekinesis, and slide down the wall (floor?) to slow my descent

Fantasy: Fire grappling hook at ship. Hijack that shit

[Gatleos]

Unibrows run in the family, apparently.

**********~
Turn 92
**********~

META TURN:

SPIDERS

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Darkness

Actions

RW: Hadouken + MC lazor down the hallway.

(...) You fire a massive laser down the hallway, annihilating the torrent of spiders! And the elevator! The blast propels you backward through the lazor tunnel you created earlier, landing the three of you in the far end of the living quarters. You're about to slam into the wall, when (...) MC fires another massive laser in the other direction, bringing you to a stop at the end of the tunnel.

Meta: Commence a fighting withdrawal

Huzzah! That was easy.

Meta: Modify my gas mask so that it cures my blindness

Your first idea on how to fix your blindness is so stupid that it somehow makes you more blind.

RW: Fire!

(...) You run out of the lounge and around the corner, just as several large human-arachnid-hybrid androids burst out of the hole in the wall nearby the elevator! You try to get Kyle to stand up, but he looks unresponsive. So you shoot him in the head with your arm cannon. Suddenly, he leaps to his feet!

"I can SEEEEEEEEE!"

You fire the other four baseballs at the androids as they charge at you! (...) (...) (...) (...) The baseballs obliterate all four of them, along with their webbing.

"Dammit!"

Meta: wow I'm really not sure how to resolve this, um... Shield myself from debris with telekinesis, and slide down the wall (floor?) to slow my descent

(...) You flatten yourself against the wall and create a shallow dome of telekinetic interference, waiting for the glass shards to fly past you. The psychic dome is just enough to absorb the impact as you slam into the wall by the door frame, though you do get a nosebleed in the process. Suddenly, the gravity in the chamber switches, throwing you onto the left wall of the hallway!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Lazor Tunnel, Deck M3
Currently: Laying on the floor.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Metal Spear | Keen Helmet | Leather Gloves | Pencil x4 | Guitar | Coffee Mug | Marshall Coburn (commanding) | Micro Mecha Spider (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Lazor Tunnel, Deck M3
Currently: Also laying on the floor.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm
Wounds: Missing Arm
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Engineering Lab, Deck M3
Currently: -UUUUuuuuudge.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal
Wounds: Broken Rib | Nosebleed
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Elevator Hallway, Deck M3
Currently: Enjoying his new-found sight.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask | Bucket
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Elevator Hallway, Deck M3
Currently: Shooting at... whatever the hell those things are.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit | Arm Cannon | Baseball x5
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: Eye Laser | Web Shooter

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!

Current Soundtrack
God Save Us

Actions

FW: Teleport to the battlefield with the book.

George: ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH, ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH!

(...) You stare at the book. It stares back into your soul as your mind is pierced with an unearthly scream.

"I'll just take this book here! WHAT COULD GO WRONG"

You lift the book from the pedestal and teleport it to the battlefield below. Along with your hand. Blood spews forth from your hand stump! Suddenly, you feel the ground begin to quake below your feet...
(...) The agent slashes George's throat, and he falls to the ground.

Fantasy: Learn how to walk without legs then.

(...) You learned a new spell!

Armsplosion

You decide to use it immediately.

Fantasy: Back-grapeshot the agent.

(...) You fire a burst of musket balls at the agent! (...) (...) (...) He dodges the first shot, gets hit in the chest by the second, and karate chops the third back at you! (...) The musket ball hits you in the chest, knocking you to the ground!

"Where is that backup?!"

The ground begins to rumble and a dark force emanates from the Gobbo Tower! A severed red hand appears alongside a sinister book in the snowy field beyond the gates, and the clouds overhead suddenly turn dark.

"Something is wrong... something is amiss!"

FW: Try to do some flexing with the sideburns to make them prehensile.

(...) You flex your sideburns a bit. Not much changes.

Fantasy: Fire grappling hook at ship. Hijack that shit

(...) You fire your grappling hook and fly up onto the deck of the hovering ship, immediately coming face-to-face with...

"..."
"0_0"
"EDGAR YOU PANSY!"

The various Goblin corpses littering the grounds of the camp spring to life, and the army of the dead charges the front gates! Agent Salvenames' corpse leaps to its feet!

"I... LIVE... AGAAAIIIN."
"SKREEEEEEEE!"

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Treasure Room, Gobbo Tower
Currently: Spewing blood.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Chattering Fangs (commanding) | Sword | Armor | Blank Parchment | Necronomicon Ex Mortis
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand | Very Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Fortress Gates
Currently: Being useless.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Elica Larifera (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Bleeding x3 | Missing Leg x2 | Broken Arm x2 | Black Eye | Faint
Abilities: Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Mysterious Ship
Currently: Meeting ancestry.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing | Very Heavy Bleeding | Faint
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Fortress Gates
Currently: Shooting himself.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Fortress Gates
Currently: Flexing.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Legchucks | Rat Bone Splint
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Broken Toe | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance (...) | Prehensile Beard

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[monk12]

I've also spent the last week doing an archive binge on Schlock Mercenary (thank you for that, Frelock,) and I am now uncomfortably aware of what kinds of unpleasantness can arise from having a hostile entity in control of your local gravity.

Meta: Cautiously return to the lab area

Fantasy: "Bloodbeard!?! How did you get here? We need to get out of here before some horrible atrocity happens!"


I suddenly have a horrible suspicion that I know where the plot is going. I'm also REALLY hoping to avoid cybernetic body parts now.

[Frelock]

Dude, you're supposed to say the magic words...

Meta: Somehow, by pure concentration, tweak the odds in the fantasy world.

Fantays: Abandon this frail body and become a being of pure spirit!

Oh, and my pleasure, Monk.  Scholck took me about three weeks to complete an archive binge; it's rather extensive.  Still, that's what you get with 11 years of daily updates.

[Gatleos]

Dude, you're supposed to say the magic words...

I knew someone would mention it AFTER he had doomed us all.

[Frelock]

On the plus side, does this mean I can get chainsaw arms/legs?

[Dermonster]

How the hell am I supposed to know that? Really, how?

Not that I really mind that much.

What would it even do anyway? NOT make a shambling army of the undead? What did you expect I was going to do with it? Granted, they're possibly not on OUR side, but still.

RW: Get inside the blue door I guess?

FW: Summon new hand. Then summon the book back to me.